There's this HB8 that I've known for a while. We never really talked, but I had her number in my phone for a while. Who better than to practice text game on, right? DAMN RIGHT.
About three weeks of texting and a couple of flakes led to tonight. I feel like my text game was and still is on point with her. Here's where I decided to experiment!
We met up - hug. Yay - she touched me!! (Clearly sarcasm) Anyway, I figured I'd purposely get myself into AFC/Beta situations to practice getting out of them and whatnot. We went to a lounge - here's what went down!
We sat in a section that had couches - 2 3 seaters and a loveseat. Threw my stuff down on the loveseat (called it the "designated leave-your-sh!t area) to ensure she'd take a 3 seater. I chose the one across from her. Problems with this one - no kino. Distance and music makes it hard to talk.
Complained that I couldn't hear her. Sat on the part of the loveseat closer to her:
Her - Or you can just sit next to me.
Me - Yeah, but you probably bite...risk I'm willing to take!
Made sure she led the conversation. I made her tell all the stories and told mine without much passion. Kept it boring. On purpose. She complained about it a couple of times. Perfect way to screw up a night, huh? Yeah, read on
Me - Ok, I have some questions to get your little brain working. Ready? Ok, what are three things you would never do?
Her - blahblahblah. Your turn!
Me - Not fair! OK, blahblahblah
Her - Ask me another question!
Me - No, fool - it's your turn!
More blahblahblah. So, my turn and I immediately turned it sexual by asking her where the riskiest place she had sex was. We swapped sex stories. Nice fix, in my opinion.
At this point, I was being a complete noob. Can't think of a better word. Checking my phone, my watch, etc. Expressing disinterest, but in the wrong ways. So, she tells me to ask her something else.
Me - Hmm...what would you do if I kissed you right now? (NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ASK A GIRL ABOUT KISSING HER - JUST FARKING DO IT OR LEAD UP TO IT. NEVER ASK. EVER.)
Notice how I emphasized "do." That's because if I asked her what she would say, it wouldn't have brought about the proper response. You need actions, not words. Moving on:
Her - Um...that would be awkward. And who asks for a kiss?!
Me - Only awkward if you make it awkward. We're adults here,
Her - Yeah, you know how many times I heard that? You're my friend. (Nice try, but you failed.)
Me - So? I wanna know what you're thinking. I made it awkward on purpose. Let's see how your brain works! (Arrogant, I know.)
Her - blahblah...you don't ask, you just do it, blahblah...you're my friend...blahblah... awkward...blahblah
Me - Mhm...I still don't see your point. Anyway, blah blah.
At this point, I gave her a little compliment, then negged her like there was no tomorrow because she felt like she could dlv me. She just leaned back and kept looking at me while I tried to "save" myself from insulting her. Yeah, I just went in and started making out with her. She seemed satisfied. Booyah.
If you're still with me, bless you. Thanks for reading!