I had an amazing weekend. This was a huge turning point for me because it now feels like this is no longer just something I hope will work, but instead something I know works, because it has worked.
Goals going in:
My goals for the night were to simply enjoy being social and maintain my social energy the whole night. I'm not used to going out so my social energy sometimes drains quickly and I get very out of state. I wasn't worrying about closing. I was only worried about keeping my energy up without burning out. Of course this meant I had to do lots of approaches because when I stand around I beat myself up and lose energy, but I wasn't really focusing on closing the interactions.
Another Mindset I wanted to adopt going in was something I heard on RSD Alexander videos about how there is no rejection, just unfulfilled opportunity. He talks about how the biggest mistake is leaving a set, or thinking that when a set walks off you're rejected and its over. So tonight I re-approached almost every set I opened at least one more time. Both of my make outs were during a second approach. There's gold in them there hills.
The field report:
We started the night off at 508. There was one stop earlier, but the place was empty and there was only one set to talk to, so we left right after. At the 508 I approached pretty constantly for the first couple hours. I use the direct approach. Hi, I'm Michael. What's your name. Blah blah blah. The main thing is my body language and tone of voice. Often I would just grab her hand and lead her to the dance floor. I also opened quite a few by just jumping out in the dance floor and dancing until I found a group of girls and pulling one into me.
Once on the floor I would actually talk more than dancing, but while dancing. So pull her in, mostly talking right into her ear with our faces pressed together because its loud. Asking chode questions like, name, age, where you're from, what you do. But again, body language, tone of voice, and the physicality of talking into her ear and pulling her close all builds up her excitement more than any conversation I can think of.
At one point my state was so high that I was completely not in my head and started mentally reacting to my actions after they happened. For instance, having a very cute girls head so close to my face, I realized after the third time that I kissed her forehead that I was actually kissing her forehead. It felt like a thought, and it took me a second to realize I was actually doing it, not just thinking it.
K-close 1 (Jade):
First interaction: I opened a girl who was wearing a tiara with "Is it your birthday" A big debate ensued about whether it was her birthday or her friends birthday, and then they put the tiara on my head, so I ran out to the dance floor with it and told a random girl it was my birthday. The random girl was Jade. After dancing with her for all of 30 seconds the other girls came and grabbed me and pulled me back.
Second interaction: About and hour later I saw Jade again and said, "You again." while taking her hands and leading her out to the dance floor. I pulled her close and said, "I lied to you." She asks about what. I say, "It's not really my birthday, I stole the tiara." blah blah blah, small talk and dancing. Made fun of her stripper name, said I'd be the pole and she could dance on me, she impressed. This is the point I mentioned earlier where I no longer even realized what I was doing and started to notice I was kissing her forehead. I thought, what the fark, stop doing that its weird, so I stopped kissing her forehead, but we continued dancing and she seemed like she didn't even notice I was doing it with how naturally it happened. After a few more minutes of dancing she got a look in her eye that made me ask, "You want to make out with me on the dance floor don't you?" and then before she had a chance to respond I went for it. It was very nice, but I remembered hearing always be the first to stop, so I said, "stop it, look what you make me do" or some such nonsense. Then about 30 seconds later after more teasing I said, "Oh what the hell" and made out with her some more. A little bit later she dragged me over to meet her friend. Then they went to the bathroom and I unfortunately didn't find her after the bathroom. The set ended on a very high note though so if I had seen her again I could have re-opened a third time easily.
K-close 2 and a #-close (Sherry):
First interaction: Saw a girl near the edge of the dance floor with a few friends. Did my random fun guy dancing in her space opener. There are basically two reactions to jumping into the middle of a group and dancing, "wooooooo", or "what the fark" with a bunch of cold shoulders. I got the wooooo reaction so I grabbed her hands and started dancing with her. I asked if the other people were her friends, I'm pretty sure she said no at first. She then led me further into the dance floor, so far in fact that I ended up saying, "This is fun, you're leading me, I like it." She said something about how I stole her from her friends (the ones she said weren't her friends) and I told her "I think you led yourself away from your friends so you could be with me." I think I was dead on, but it made her defensive and maybe raised her Anti-slut defense, So she started dancing back towards her friends and pushing me away. I pulled her in one more time and teasingly, lightheartedly, not defensively, said "Is this dance over? what a shame"
Second interaction: I went out on the dance floor looking for a girl I had met earlier who I liked quite a bit, but was AMOG'd by a friend who didn't like me picking her up and taking her from her other friend, though the target liked it quite a bit. The guy actually came very close to fighting me. So when I re-approached, I got completely blown out by the whole group. I kept moving until I got out of the dance floor and then did a pass of the bar looking for something else to open, when I passed Sherry again. I turned around and said, "You again, come here" and pulled her back out. I work with someone by the same name, so I got bonus points for remembering.
An interesting note, After a few minutes of dancing, the girl in the set that had just blown me out said "You!!" and tried to get me to dance with her again. I yelled (joking, playful tone of voice) "fark off you had your chance!" That would be an example of pre-selection in action.
I explain to Sherry that I'd rather keep dancing with her and besides, that girl turned me down earlier. So Sherry asks if I want to make her jealous and starts grinding with me. At one point when our faces got very close again I saw similar eyes and body language to the girl I had made out with earlier, but not nearly as intense or obvious, but enough for me to try it just to experiment. Her lips closed up tight and I casually said, "Nope, not yet." About two minutes later she initiated the make out with me. I stopped her and said she was corrupting me, I thought you said your were wholesome, blah blah blah, tease, tease, tease. And throughout the rest of the dancing we occasionally made out small amounts. Very physical, picked her up a few times, just had fun. At some point she said something about how I would miss her too much if she left, some sort of suggestion that she had me wrapped around her finger. The only response I could think of to this test was to let go of her and start to back away. She didn't chase after or pull me back, so I shrugged, said okay, and walked away. About 15 -20 minutes later she ran up to me, said she had to go, and asked me to take her number.
Me: Now you have my number too - Michael
Her: I'm glad I met u tonight.
Me (about an hour later): Mutual, we'll plan something later
Her: Yes, please