Note: this is more of a personal story than something you can learn from. Maybe you can learn from my experience, but I'm writing this out as a thank you to the PUA community to show the improvement I have undergone.
I've been having an ongoing war with Approach Anxiety until two days ago (Saturday). Some days I wouldn't have much, some days I would have so much I felt so uncomfortable i could barely hold my posture and speak to anyone. Only times previously literally all my aa was gone was when I would drink a couple beers. I've been a proud member of pua for a while (although an account wasnt made), and ive been researching information for over a year. Every time I read, I kept telling myself "the most important thing is to try it!", and so i tried to try the information. After this long journey, I can finally test the stuff I've read and learned about. Anyways, onto the story.
I'm 18, a senior at highschool. I cant go to clubs, but there are plenty of parties around. Every time before a party, a friend and I would "pregame" at the Century City mall, where we eat, talk, and have fun. Often, we would also try to sarge, never successful due to both of our AA (he has much worse than I used to). I've been watching a lot of simple pickup, a youtube channel that teaches you not to give a fark lately. In the mall, after we ate and met friends and such, I decided I'm in the mood to sarge. I have 3 rediculous approaches, one of which was in a Victoria Secret's (the two ran out as I approached them with a smile on their face. Not the best thing, i know :P). My goal was just to get loose and be social. I had an argument with my friend whether boxers or briefs were more attractive (which i know for a fact chicks like boxers much more), so I told him I'd ask random chicks what they think. Two pairs of HB's said boxers, and the last pair was the Victoria Secrets pair, which I planned to give a different opener.
Anyways, this was my warm up. At 8:10, we leave to get to the party. We arrive at 8:30, waiting with a group of these 3 other guys outside the door. I initiate a good conversation (Ive always had great confidence chatting with other males), and we enter. There, my friend gets caught up with someone he knows at the party, and i get a little bored. Music hasnt started and it hasnt "turnt up" yet, so I decide its a good idea to keep on the down low. The other guys I met there weren't really intriguing or interesting (except for the initial 3 who were smoking, and I don't smoke). Eventually, another friend that I invited to the party arrived (hes a total AFC, but an awesome dude), and I started having a good time.
By around 9:00 or 9:30, the place started to get a little packed and music started pumping. At this state, I was still intimidated at approaching HB's due to my lack of personal experience, but I wanted to just approach to have fun while waiting. I approached around 2 or 3, had small talk, and my AFC friend was behind me, quiet. It was kinda awkward with him, but I had pretty engaged conversations for the few minutes we spent talking. I made more of an "introduction" rather than a conversation.
By 10:30, people started to get on the dance floor and started dancing. Dancing is my specialty. I can easily approach a dancing HB and escalate a K-close. I just felt like having fun though, since no dancing chick really turned me on. When i refer to dancing, I mean grinding, by the way.
So I grinded on and off until 11:30. By then I had probably danced with every single attractive girl on the dance floor, and wanted to improve my social game. After all, thats what I've been working on recently. I think I did a few short approaches, confident though, and then i found a group of hbs that i could easily approach.
3 of them. so they're about to sit at this booth, and so am I, and I ask them to share the booth. I sit really close to one of them so we can all "squish" in (2 of my friends at the party saw me approaching, and they know I am pretty good i guess, so they decided to join in as well. They were kinda stalker like, and barely talked whatsoever). I am flirty and playful, trying my best to be sexually playful with them, giving sexual hints and making innuendos. I am naturally funny, so I also included dry humor in there as well.
In the middle of the conversation, one of them tells me I'm just adorable, and reaches over to hug me. Success! So we keep on talking, and this group talks for maybe 30 mins or less, and we end up both having to go, but of course, we exchange numbers
*note: i was foolish due to my lack of experience. After about 3 minutes the girl that was really into me said i was adorable, I asked her out loud if she wanted to go upstairs. we just waved it off, but it was my attempt to get more personal. Well, now i know and learned*
Another time at the party i approached a group of 4 african american girls that i was not attracted to. I practiced being really social and flirty just for fun, and they all really liked me. I didnt really want to do anything with them though
Lastly, at around 12:00, i returned to the dance floor. I felt like i rested enough, and felt like grinding a little. I am a really good dancer, and one girl takes a note with it and tells me to dance with her asian friend. This is important because later I go and flirt with these two, mainly the asian. I think i spent about 30 minutes or 45 minutes with them too, but i felt awkward taking a friend away from a friend, ALTHOUGH I KNOW IT IS NORMAL AND MANY PUA's do it. I tell her about myself, be flirty, show value and confidence, and give her my number. About half an hour after the party ends, I get a text:
"Hi Shawn who got paranoid in Costa Rica haha. It's Megumi, the asian girl who french inhale's aha. Well yeah, just wanted to give you my number."
Paranoid in costa rica is from a story i told her that showed value (doesnt sound like it from the cut off, but trust me, it has value :P), and the french inhale is just another topic we talked about.
Word for word. I havnt responded yet as I havnt researched texting at all until last night. I got about 7 numbers that night from all the short approaches to these longer more invested ones
I made out with only one girl on the dance floor who I didn't care to get her number, but no other K-closes.
Anyways, I confidently without a doubt approached anyone who i wanted and instinctively knew what to say without hesitation. I have to thank myself and the PUA community who helped me.
Ever since that night, my AA has been minimal if there has been any at all.