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Thread: obviously a beginner...help

  1. #1
    chocolove is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default obviously a beginner...help

    What exactly did I do wrong...

    So, I didn't plan on heading out, was just having a quiet drink with some friends at a bar across the street from my house.

    they encouraged me to come out, so walk into this club, and head straight to the VIP area. The bottles arrive. We sit and start chatting and doing our own thing. When dun dun dun... I see this chick. To set the frame. I live on a small island where there are literally a handful of HB10s, and mostly 3-4s around... most people know me here, but this chick was from out of town, but was born on this island, so had come back to visit family/friends...
    She was at the next table, standing up looking over the crowd of people at the club.

    I walked up beside her, stood a little in front of her and turned back and said:


    Me:That's a very beautiful necklace
    HB7: thank you!!
    Me: I was thinking twice about telling you, but couldn't stop looking at it.
    Me:Where did you get it? Obviously not from here (tropical island)
    HB: no I got it from Zara in London
    me: oh I thought it was vintage Cartier or something it is still very nice... So do you live in London?
    HB: yeah, but thinking of moving back.
    Me: you really should, now is the time etc. the opportunities are super good etc. what do you do in London.
    HB: I work in online marketing
    Me: oh so you do that from anywhere really, anyway, I am gonna get back to my friends.
    HB: so, what do you do?
    Me: I am a struggling entrepreneur I guess.. (Big smile) if you aren't struggling you aren't really an entrepreneur...
    HB: cool,
    Me: gotta go

    About an hour later, I asked one of the girls in my group to tap her on the shoulder, and I asked her to come over. She came and stood next to me, I introduced her to my friend who were around. And she said very cool, networking, I like it...

    There was some guy who had a hawk eye on her, so i said:
    Me: so how long have you been with him?
    HB: oh that's not my Bf, I don't have one.
    Me: so then you must have very high standards...
    HB: that's not true, I just want a good guy.
    Me: what does that even mean? What is your definition of a good guy?
    Hb: you know a nice guy to talk to, someone interesting. Good sense of humor and doesn't cheat!!
    Me: so your standards are high...
    You haven't found him yet have you?you are pretty enough to get any guy you want, but none of the guys so far tick the boxes...
    Hb: nods
    Me: so tell me, how do you even know when you like a guy? How do you know when you see a guy... What it is inside you that says: i really like this guy?
    Hb: I just know, obviously I wouldn't know i liked him immediately, i would want to get to know him and spend time with him outside of a club and really have a chance to speak with him... Listen, I gotta check my phone. I will be back in 2 secs
    Me: take your time, i will give you 4 big smile!

    Girl disappears for over an hour.

    Reappears and is rather distant, disinterested.

    Few mins later.

    Guy walks in, her face lights up. They hug/kiss and he is holding her...

    I feel the night was wasted and leave... Go off to talk to a bunch of other girls... No major break through, all 4's/5's and went home rather disheartened...

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    The bad thing is, that was a train wreck my friend. There's quite of bit of things you did wrong. The main one was that you didn't do ANYTHING different that other guys wouldn't.

    The good thing is that it's all fixable. I highly recommend The Venusian Artist Handbook as a beginner. It'll open your eyes to many things that will have you reread this post and you'll want to slap yourself lol. I'll take into account that you are a beginner, but I won't be able to explain everything here. So make sure to read up.

    You went backwards. You're suppose to build attraction before qualifying and building comfort. You put her in an interview by asking so many questions up front. Which betrays your interest level and she already knows you want her and you don't even know her. Yea you were asking questions to get to know her, but the very act of asking so many questions about her shows interest on your part.

    So how do you build attraction? Entire books have been devoted to this so I couldn't explain it all in one post. Get into reading about it through the eyes of a pickup artist and prepare for a long and rewarding journey because there is no quick fix. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    Suave Kino's Avatar
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    Batman, is in fact the man and I agree wholeheartedly. Disengage yourself, turn off that disappointment and read this Pick Up like somebody else wrote it. Where is the magic? How was this different that the 10 thousand times she has been hit on before? It's not just pick up, it's pick up artistry.

  4. #4
    chocolove is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    Thank you both so much!!

    I just crashed and burned with a girl I really like yesterday!! Was way too eager, tried to set up a casual "lets meet for lunch" via messaging, and when she danced around the topic of meeting I failed by basically saying... so yes or no to lunch... it was met by a resounding, it is really sweet but I am going to have to say no... good effort though...
    PHUCK!!

    okay so you live and learn and keep going... i will read up and revert. Thank you both so so much again!!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolove View Post
    Thank you both so much!!

    I just crashed and burned with a girl I really like yesterday!! Was way too eager, tried to set up a casual "lets meet for lunch" via messaging, and when she danced around the topic of meeting I failed by basically saying... so yes or no to lunch... it was met by a resounding, it is really sweet but I am going to have to say no... good effort though...
    PHUCK!!

    okay so you live and learn and keep going... i will read up and revert. Thank you both so so much again!!
    Read this, i think this is what the game should be like.

    http://www.puaforums.com/pick-up-fie...pectation.html

  6. #6
    chocolove is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    I have now got The Venusian Arts (Mystery Method) , and also looked through your note on sexual expectations. How much do you think culture, and geography have to do with the method?

    I can see how this would work in London or New York, in fact anywhere in the western hemisphere or even the developed world; but do the same rules and methods apply to a conservative tropical island in Asia? I am just wondering...

    I am almost certain you answers will be yes with a few modifications. but I would appreciate your thoughts.

  7. #7
    Suave Kino's Avatar
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    The point is this. The idea is to give the woman a unique experience. You may not be able to ramp up the sexuality in the same fashion, but you can make it a mind blowing experience.

  8. #8
    manunited000 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    I agree with Batman and Kino for the most part however, I DID like the part where you ask her about her 'dream guy'. Even better, you asked her about the way she FEELS when she sees him. Done in the proper way, you can evoke some of the emotions she would actually feel in this situation. The words were alright, I guess, but, you probably said it the same way any other guy would. Try to say it in a way that provokes an emotional reaction from her. Other than that, yeah, you need to work on your game. Everyone has to start somewhere!
    Nova

    "It ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can be hit and keep moving forward"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    First off chocolove your approach was not bad. A compliment opener is not a bad start. In fact last weekend I walked up to this hot blonde and was like
    ME: "Hey I like your hair"
    ME: "How long did it take you?
    HER HB8 "Oh only five seconds"
    (Immediately started vibing had my arm around her, she complimented me on my posture, etc)
    HER: "I like your hair, how long did it take you?"
    ME: "Oh like 15 min".
    HER: "OMG look at your posture!"
    After that it was on. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she asked for another, she had me give her a twirl, massive kino, she started following me around, danced with her later, etc.

    She the difference how I built on it and created a good vibe? This massively helped my game and if I was more attracted to her I would have escalated even more so.

    I would recommend trying to veer away from becoming AFC like unfortunately you went a little too AFC (aka needy) here. Try to spice it up and keep it fun for you and it will be fun for her.

    Remember though it is not just the words you say but also the vibe you are putting off. If you are putting off a good fun vibe HB's will ping off that and be more open to your advances for kino, flirting, etc. I don't think you did too terribly just need to focus on making it more fun for yourself and being less interview mode and more destruction mode by being ready to flirt, tease, etc. I don't see a single time you tried to challenge her or tease her. Keep trying and don't feel too bad you learned something from it.

  10. #10
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: obviously a beginner...help

    I'm no expert like some of the other guys, but I did cringe a little at that convo. Lol, don't worry, I've been there and done that plenty of times.

    Anyway, your opener was good. Your conversation skills are good (although I wouldn't have said "I was thinking twice about saying anything" because it makes you seem like you're nervous). You asked a question, she answered, you made a statement, then followed up with a related question. Nice. Your questions were also good transitioners. You know, you asked about her necklace which lead to you asking where she was from because she said she got it in london, therefore giving you a reason to ask where she's from. It makes the conversation much more natural. The only mistake is you stayed in that mode too long and it becomes an interview, which is boring. Doing it a little is ok because you can build comfort and rapport.

    You did not however, escalate any physical contact (or maybe you did and just didn't specify), you didn't do anything really flirty. What you could have done with talking about her dream guy is kind of say it in a more seductive way, look into her eyes, kind of escalate Kino as you're talking to her. This will create emotion and sexual tension, and the touching will Anchor those feelings to you. Then when you touch in that same spot again (say her shoulder), it'll subconsciously reignite those good feelings about you.

    Props for having the testicular fortitude to just get out there with no experience and wing it. Your ability to keep a conversation going will definitely help in the long term.

    If you want beginner e-books, I recommend David D's "Double Your Dating" and David Wygant's "Fearless"


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