Syn's Third Field Report
So here goes nothing on this one. Took me a little bit to remember everything in its entirety because I was having an extremely bad day and then started drinking. Not the best thing to do given my addictive personality and penchant for booze but it doesn't happen often. The end of the night was boring as hell for me but I was also sloppy drunk so I just kind of passed out once my buddy dropped me off at home. Word to the wise, the more you drink, the worse your game gets, and the more self depreciating you will be about it when it doesn't work.
There is light at the beginning of the tunnel...
January 19 2013
So me and my buddy, the same one from my previous 2 field reports wanted to go out. Now we'd been to the same bars and places before and we wanted a new kind of scene. Now I'm personally not a fan of country music, but he is, so being the awesome friend that I am I suck it up and we decide to hit a country bar, as he calls it, that has a Coyote Ugly theme to it. Now if anyone reading this has no idea what Coyote Ugly is you should Google it pronto! In essence every hour or so they have their waitresses get up on the these stages that are scattered around the bar and dance for a couple of songs while everyone can either watch or dance on the dance floor at the other end of the place. Now my friend was a little upset because this place wasn't actually a country bar. At least not on a Saturday because all they played was hip-hop. Barring that though he was having a good time.
But before all that we started off at a little place we like to go to called....HOOTERS!! Yes this is our pre-game and strategy building spot, along with a good place to get amped up for the night. Now the reason this seems to work so well is
1) We go there, and we know all the waitresses, the managers, the cooks, everyone in there, so we're always greeted warmly and we have a ton of fun.
2) Most of the waitresses are hot!
3) Since they are hot, and since I have yet to have all of their numbers we always try our odds at getting new one. No such luck this night unfortunately.
Anyways, we start off there because of the ambiance and the general feel good feelings we get while we're there, whether through the combination of a drink and some flirting or the addictive potential of their wings (which I'm pretty sure they lace with some kind of illegal drug because they are awesome!) we always have a good time their. I spent a good chunk of my time getting the girls to do silly poses and what not for me and taking pictures on my phone. Then they all crowd around to see them and say "Send it to me" or "I look bad, lets do another!"
Now the thing I did for this particular bit of the night was I caught ones attention, and asked her this question.
Me: "Are you a dog person, or a cat person?"
Her: "I'm a cat person"
Me: "See that makes total sense. Most people who own cats are aggressive and dominant and not afraid to speak up for what they believe in so they tend to like something thats self aware and can think for itself. Dog owners on the other hand are a bit more timid and shy and seek the security of a larger animal."
Her: "OMG bla bla bla you're so right!! Which are you?" (ioi's anyone?)
Her: "Cat person"
Me: "No I like snakes. You're not good at this game. You need practice"
It was then that I started calling girls over to the bar and asked her to pick, based on personality if they were dog or cat people. Lo and behold she got it right about 90% of the time. I'm not sure if she knew right away because she worked with them but she'll never forget it. And just in case anyone is wondering, I'm actually a cat person, but I do also own a snake.
Now after all that was said and done, I'd gotten a pretty good buzz on and was adamant that I keep it. My only problem was, I started drinking faster instead of slowing down. So I started to spiral slowly, but surely. But thats when we get to the next place, the Coyote Ugly themed one. Now once we get there, its not really my scene at all. My friend seems to like the place so I suck it up and deal, though I'm sure it was transmitted via body language how much I didn't like being there. Just gave off the worst vibe possible to me, and even if I was sober I would've hated it there. So moving around the bar I'm saying high to people, asking them where there from, introducing my buddy to a few girls and then ejecting. At this point in time I saw NO ONE that I was remotely attracted to. Not one. At all. So gloomy time for me. I step outside to smoke and I'm talking with everyone out there. Eventually I get super drunk and walk in to see my friend making out with a....larger....woman and I don't think I was able to mask my surprise because she gave me the worst possible sneer. Before I could open my mouth to retaliate, since I don't handle people I don't know being rude to me, my buddy swings into the rescue and pulls me outside where he calms me down with one of my own cigarettes. Then we go home.
Damn boring night if you ask me, the only highlight was Hooters, well for me at least but oh well. They're are gonna be nights like that. Sorry if it was long winded. I was thinking of the best way to try and make this as short as possible but sometimes my fingers refuse to stop you know? Lol and feel free to use that animal routine, it works pretty good for getting know someone, as long as your able to transition from it.
"Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake love" - Bo Burnham