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Thread: Second Date. How to proceed? Critique?

  1. #1
    botas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Second Date. How to proceed? Critique?

    I'll try to make this brief, but this FR did not end the way I would have liked it to. I met this girl through a mutual friend who thought we would be good together. He was right in that we got along really well. On the first date I took her bowling and to grab food (she loved the bowling), didn't put her on a pedestal, teased her, and kino'ed. I ended the date with a kiss on the cheek rather than going in for the real deal, partly because I wasn't sure whether she was into me or not (I had never met her before, working on reading IOI's), but she laughed at all my jokes, didn't shy away from kino, and we had a great time.

    I realize that she did have a little thing for me after talking to our mutual friend; additionally, she texted me spontaneously once or twice after that first date. I told her I'd like to see her again, and she seemed really enthusiastic about it. Picked her up, joking around (this is what really attracted me to her - she was hilarious), decided we'd get food. This is a Monday night, though, and I didn't think about the fact that she might have homework later (college). We're laughing, joking, and having a good time at dinner, I ask her if she wants to see a movie. Beforehand, I had decided this was when I was going to escalate, since it's kind of hard just at dinner, though I was kino'ing lightly. She declines - I immediately take this as an IOD, and my game falls apart for a second.

    I realize this, tell an interesting story (dhv!), and pull it back together, but it was done from there. I hadn't planned on how to handle it if she didn't have time for part 2 of date 2. So I drop her off at her sorority, and again, kiss on the cheek. In hindsight, I realize I should have gone in for that real k-close, that way, I would have known whether or not it was worth pursuing any further. I didn't, though, because I was thinking it would have been forced. I gave myself every possible excuse why I shouldn't do that. I cared too much about messing up with the girl that a rejected kiss seemed an unacceptable risk. To go from laughing out loud to hooking up didn't seem like a smooth transition, as it lacked escalation.

    Positives from this experience would be: Building rapport quickly, teasing / negs, not putting her above me
    Negatives from this experience: Dinner date probably didn't help ( she absolutely LOVED the bowling the first time), but she didn't complain. Staying too jokey - first date I was much better about balancing humor with normal conversation. This time, she probably saw me more as a friend. Not having a backup plan. This screwed me the most. I was inflexible and freaked when I realized it wasn't going to work out the way I thought.

    I really like this girl, but if it's a lost cause it's a lost cause - I don't wanna waste time or money, noone does. She's someone who I would want to pursue a relationship with if anything (she is VERY similar to my temperament). However, I recognize I'm in a really shitty position, because I've payed for two dates and not gone in for a real k-close. This is a mistake... kind of AFC. To her, it probably sent as mixed a signal as her declining a move did for me. After dropping her off tonight, though, I could have sworn I saw her cup her hand to her mouth and check her breath as I was driving away haha.. but yah.

    Damage done? Move away? Text in a day or two to gauge response? Not sure where to go from here. Would really 'preciate some input. Gonna talk to our mutual friend and see what he says. If I took her to do something again, it'd have to be free or cheap, I'm not made of cash (didn't take her to a bar cause I don't drink.. she doesn't either). Not trying to get one-itis either, getting stuck on girls that don't have interest has no appeal to me. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Second Date. How to proceed? Critique?

    Ok, you didn't do too bad except for the lack of a k close. I'd say you have one more shot with this girl, take her out again and k close during the date not at the end. A rejected kiss is not actually that big a deal as long as you just brush it off as if it doesn't matter and carry on normally. As for date ideas, if I was you I'd just get her to come and 'hangout' at your place, curl up on the sofa, put some movies on and close that deal good luck

    Linking x

  3. #3
    botas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Second Date. How to proceed? Critique?

    I like this. Spending more money is definitely kinda lame; if she thinks I'm asking her to come screw, I can reframe it as "get your mind out of the gutter, you're cute but not that cute, I wanna watch a movie!" Schweet. Will try


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