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Thread: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

  1. #1
    lolbroek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Hey

    My first field report after learning about PUA and reading some books/forumposts about it.

    So...yesterday I went to a club and man i couldn't believe my eyes how many HB's attended this party!
    First thoughts of the evening was ' success is certain'.
    Boy was I wrong.
    First and foremost...half of those HB's kept looking at me when I arrived...after a while some chicks even orbited round me ( if you want details on what signals girls gave me just replay and ask for it )
    You would think ' geez this guy is in '
    NO WAY...I didn't even approach a single HB, I approached nobody !!!
    Reason....I was scared ****less man
    I have no idea what got into me last night.
    Anyone had the same experience ? How do recover from it ? But most important, how can you make sure it will never happen again

    thanks

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Yep... it happens to all of us.
    And there are STILL times when I get the freaked out feeling myself.

    That's why it's important to remember that moods change like the weather.
    One day you're all AFC & forget everything you know, & the next day you're bulletproof.

    All you can do is look back & laugh.
    Let it be a motivator, rather than an Anchor weighing you down.

    "Fear" is all in your head.

    Just keep in mind that girls are just "other people". And if you go in with the attitude of just having a good time, instead of "picking up" & being focused on the outcome, you'll have a much better success rate.

    Take the pressure out of it & just look at it as "being sociable". When you're relaxed you'll be more confident & things will fall into place much more easily.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    There are some nights when you can't do anything but don't put yourself down. The first mistake you even made after the night was calling it a failure, I don't believe in failure. I only believe in feedback. You want you did wrong and it's pretty obvious... you didn't approach. When you don't approach you have already lost the game.

    When it comes to practising game, you can know all the routine, lines, techniques, method, tools, whatever else you can think but if you don't approach and make the first step than you will never get better. It all comes down to Mindset, you need to adopt a mindset that allows you to be confident and bold enough. The easiest thing you can do adopt being more honest. When you're honest to everyone you can say and do whatever you please as long as it's in reason. Be honest about yourself and your abilities, you're a man, you have started reading on pick up and you're getting involved. You are already in the top 90% of men out there because you have already made a start, there's no point in stopping now!

    Start being honest with the girls, that's the most important thing. If you see a girl in the club and you think she's cute as fuck, seriously... tell her. Contrary to popular belief, a girl actually likes her look being valid but you need to say it with conviction and there's no better conviction than honesty and genuinity. Just look in her eyes as you say it. Practise holding eye contact with everyone, your friends, your parents, strangers, teachers, anyone. If she doesn't like the fact you where honest than you don't have to bother with her, just walk away (girls like it when a man can walk away) and the best thing you will feel so good after you spoke to her. There have been a few occasions where I haven't done an approach in ages and I did a completely direct opener, didn't get too far but the fact I had the balls to say it made me feel like a new man.

    You want to know how to not make this happen again? Start taking control of your progress, right now, yes you are a beginner but everyone started from some place, not everyone became a master overnight. Start off with making 5 very light approaches and work up from there. If you have trouble with any part of the interaction, write it down, start making a log of your nights and see where you went wrong and find ways to correct those sticking points.

    An example of this: If you are not sure on how to close the girl, write that down and find out how to Number Close and practise it the next time you're out.

    It just like the way they do it in sports. If the team has played a game regardless if they have a win or loss, the coach will look at the game again to check for flaws and things the team did not do well. They will take their notes and implement new tactics to rectify the problems when they prepare for the next game.

    Practise 3 openers in the mirror until you feel confident that you know them off by heart and imagine you are talking to a really hot chick as you say it.

    Try using a more positive vocabulary as well, that not to say you should sugar coat anything but it has been proven that using more positive words (such as good, awesome, great) will have an impact on your outlook on life rather than using negative words (such as failure, bad, worthless, horrible). If your night did not go to plan instead of saying "damn, what a horrible night, I completely failed" try saying "Eh, that wasn't the best night, I'll come back and do better next time".

    One last tip. If girls are looking in your direction (especially if it's more than once) they want you to open her. Nothing fancy, just go up to and say "Hey, hows it going". Just try it. All you need to be good with girls all boils down to pure confidence. Anyone can be good at game if they eliminate or control their sexual and social anxieties.

    But at the end of the day, this is all up to you, you have to make the effort and you have to instigate the change in your life. Good luck and most importantly, have fun!
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  4. #4
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Sohans advice is pretty solid, there's not much I can add

    The only failure is when you don't try. Don't get set on getting laid, just make a goal of how many people you're going to open, because that it something you can control. Do it

    I will say, even after all this time I've had some of the same issues.

    I've been dating someone regularly so I stopped picking up, I just go out to socialize. Went out with my boy and noticed several girls looking at us, and suddenly, aa reared it's head again and I didn't do anything. It's foolish. I knew they were curious, I knew they'd be receptive. I knew that nothing bad would happen. Still, AA

    First step is recognizing this, second step is making a commitment to yourself to fix it
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    lolbroek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Awesome, great posts guys....thanks alot.
    Loved your post Sohan...i've been reading it a couple of times just to make sure I'm not missing anything !!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Very good suggestions offered by everyone!

    I was a very shy teenager, but girls in school called me stuck up and accused me of playing hard to get. I even turned down blatant offers of intimacy! All this was caused by fear. Fear of being turned down. It happened to me once in the 7th grade when I asked a girl to be my date at a school dance. After that let down, I didn't, I couldn't, ask a girl out.

    I decided at the age of 19 to train myself to approach women. I took drama classes in college and joined a few school clubs and study groups. Here is what made the difference: 1) I made it a point to introduce myself to everyone at parties and dances; 2) gave people my phone number (some girls would respond by giving me their numbers); 3) called girls often; and 4) asked girls out until I lost my virginity. It took about 2 months of doing this.
    Carpe diem!

  7. #7
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Lolbroek it is truly inspiring to see that you are out there trying. Remember it takes confidence to even think about approaching. Your first step is to listen to Mystery Method's YouTube videos (specifically aa) and any other PUA AA videos on YouTube you can find.

    Honestly though I have had about 2 nights like this since I started. Those videos really helped though. Also watch day game approaches on YouTube as well to give an idea on how women respond to different approaches.

    As far as my personal advice goes I can't really say haven't had AA for a while because once you get in the habit of doing it, it just becomes second nature. Starting out though is freaky as heck, all nervous and stuff it's just a very hard thing to overcome but you will overcome it. After you get rejected enough times, approach enough times, close enough times you get to be like me, a natural!

    Game was a nightmare when I first started though cuz I was so approval seeking now that my inner game is getting tighter women are starting to seek my approval and I am just this chill nonchalant dude hitting on them.

    No reason to fret just get over the Hell you will go through at first and it gets easier I promise.

    It really comes down to knowing yourself, trusting yourself, and having the reference experiences to know how to handle difficulty like rejection, logistics, resistance, sh!t tests, and the like.

    Just do it! You may feel like dirt during but after you will feel like a champ because you overcame it and trusted yourself and then you will know more about yourself afterwards to help you with future interactions.

  8. #8
    lolbroek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Thanks guys !! Will try and watch those vids. Gonna start reading ' rules of the game'
    Seems like inner game is such an important factor....need to catch up on that

  9. #9
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    Default Re: FAILED REPORT still an AFC

    Sorry to hear that, I havn't went out to go for glory yet because I am still trying to master my inner game.

    I read something a while back and have been applying it to my life to get rid of the Approach Anxiety that deals with approaching ladies in general attractive or not just in public, shopping, at work or wherever just open using any opener once you open them exchange a couple phrases or words smile and leave. Do that about 20 times a day or for almost every girl you run across and it helps get a handle on that anxiety. I have tried it, it is low pressure worst case scenario you get no response move on. Don't go further than opening people until you at least get a handle on the approach anxiety. It is not totally gone after doing this exercise but it is much more manageable.

    I am working mostly on approach anxiety, body language and being more conscious of myself. Work on yourself build your own self value and then it is easier to feel you deserve what you are trying to get.

    Smile, chin up, back strait if you try that I am sure you will get them next time don't hate on yourself if you want to be a pua don't label yourself as an AFC Even if you crash and burn.
    Last edited by hometownextra; 04-14-2013 at 04:46 PM. Reason: Missed point


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