I have been reading the forums for quite a few days now, plus all those youtube pickup videos. very inspiring stuff - more than anything else, i liked how its about becoming a better man. to give u a brief background, I have been "the nice guy" all my life so far ( i m 29), had a gf who walked all over me before we broke up when i was 26. thats when i hit rock bottom, took some time to figure myself out, and decided to apply to grad school. yep, i m a nerd, i love maths and am proud of it. but hey, that doesnt mean i cant have social skills. I wanna be better at it too, and "art of pua" helped me gain that perspective.
So I have been trying approaching women from last several weeks. Tonight has been the worst experience ever. Most of my circle consists of full-on nerds, the kind that are happy sitting in front of their laptops whenever they have nothing else to do. So I decide, f*ck it, I'll go out alone, many do... seen "I game alone" on forums, I can do the same. Went to the cheaper undergrad just-turned-21 type of bars first. Approached 5 times, with openers like "you guys seem to be having fun!", "whats that red stuff u r drinking?", "i like backless dresses". Got responses including a stink face, look-the-other-way, "my friends are over there" and tired-smile-and-walk-away. The last one was "Sorry, am here with my husband, but u r sweet". Ok, theres some hope, I am sweet, i must be strong and keep at it.
I decide to go towards the more upscale part of the street. Enter into a fancy looking bar. The lady holds my hand and says $10 cover. She held my hand, so she could obviously take my money. I pay up, enter and order a drink. I notice the place is full of latinos. May be I did good coming here, coz am brown too ( east indian). There are people dancing, awesome music too. I approach a group of 3, "which of you ladies is the best dancer? I need someone who can teach me coz I suck at it". Suddenly a couple of huge guys turn up from nowhere, start shoving me "no no, <some thing i couldnt understand>", shoed me away.
"I must be strong, I'll get better", I say to myself. The confidence is low though. I see a woman, around 35, sipping beer alone at the bar. I make my way there, order the same beer, turn over and ask "who u with here?". She retorts "alone". I grab my beer, "cheers to that, am out alone too". I take a sip, "you wanna dance?", to which she says "am too drunk to dance". "Well, thats the best time to dance, but what else do u wanna do?", and then she says something I couldnt make out and walks off. Not more than 3 minutes later, shes dancing with another dude. WTF ???
Sigh ... confidence at the bottom of the ocean. may be I am really ugly. Is it the glasses I wear ? Or may be the stereotypes about East Indians ? How we smell like curry and what not? May be maths nerds are supposed to be just that - maths nerds... and am fighting a losing battle here. Disappointed, I go off to a coffee bar. Its 2 am, and am kinda drunk. I take a coffee, see and HB7 sitting outside alone. F*ck it, another try. I walk up to her "Had a good night?". We hit up a conversation, talk for 10 min about how shes kinda nerdy too, before she says shes gonna go inside to sit coz they are closing up. Asks me to note down her number. Shes a waitress, probably gets hit on 100 times per day. What chance does a socially inept brown idiot have ? She was probably just being nice, taking pity on me. Has happened before, girl gives number, I text, she doesnt reply.
Sorry for the long rant, just fed up of myself today. Thanks for reading, any advice on what I can do to not give up will be much much appreciated.