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Thread: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    MEETING THE TWO

    Me and my friend see 2 girls at the local bar and we go talk to them. It’s a around 1:30-2:00 and not too many people left, at this time it’s OK to move a bit faster, so I right away ask to sit close to her while I’m actually already sitting and my friend does the same with the other.
    She was 30YO and they were drunk, not totally wasted but drunk.

    I start to put my arm around her neck pretty soon. She’s OK with it but when I use my hand to stroke her upper arm she kept repeating she’s not comfortable with it.
    I make some jokes like withdrawing both hands and having them as far away if she prefers an awkward “berlin wall” between us and get us two laughing.
    Then I put my arm again behind the seat and behind her.

    The conversation is quite good, I say I’m a ghostbuster to avoid the usual boring stuff, which bring us a more light-hearted spirit –and maybe some mystery from my side (and you won’t believe it, but many girls actually end up believing me)- while I actually get to know more from her.
    When she asks again about my job I say “I’m a ghostbuster and I work in IT”, I didn’t want to keep neglecting her request for a serious answer but I didn’t want too much of a boring conversation from my side (I couldn’t be fully honest anyway).

    After a while we hold hands a bit. But every time I rest my hand on her shoulder/upper arm she says she’s not comfortable with that.
    She never says it too seriously, but she really means it.

    They take some pictures of us with them, and when my girl is taking the pic I hold her from behind with my arms on her belly. Some fake protesting but she’s OK with it and actually liking it.


    MOVING TO ANOTHER BAR
    As we leave and they go to the toilet (we stayed there maybe 1h), me and my friend plan to go for the pull as soon as we’re out of there (me to my place, right in front, he going with the girl somewhere else).

    It didn’t work though as the girls hold each other once out preventing us from breaking them apart, so we propose another bar.
    On the way we cross the metro stop and they half-heartedly say they gotta go and my girl say her husband is waiting for her (no idea if that was a lie a joke or something, I don’t inquire about that at all). But I kinda knew they didn’t want to really leave and indeed a “come on just one drink” is enough to get us going.

    On the way I go for holding hands, she protests but I insist and then we are actually walking hand in hand for the most part. But every time we break contact, it’s always a struggle to get her hand back and it’s not just token resistance, I overdo it at times.


    THE SECOND BAR
    We sit in the second bar again one next to the other and my friend is smart enough to sit between “my girl” and her friend.
    They get a drink, me and my friend don’t (maybe we should have).

    Again some hand holding, I start moving my hand on her body a bit. Some protesting.

    My friend is having the other girl’s leg on his leg. He doesn’t go for much Kino, he doesn’t go for the kiss. He very rarely does and he mostly talk, I don’t even know how as the girl doesn’t speak English and he’s not really proficient in the local language.

    I feel my girl is more distant now, she talks to her friend more often than in the first bar, she meddles between my friend and her girlfriend more than once. When she does this my friend motions with his eyes to get her, to which I gesticulate behind her back “I’m trying man, but she’s being silly” .
    Still we hold hands at times and my arm is on her shoulder.

    More aggressive kinoing and “move”
    I start kinoing more aggressively with my hands moving on her legs and her body. She protests and I blame it on her. She doesn’t stop my hands but she means it for me to stop and I do stop, only to resume again a bit later for 2-3 times I guess.

    There are some sexually tense moments: her eyes and mouth are very close to me at some points. I let one good kissing occasion go by to raise a bit the tension and tell her instead we’ve got a good connection or something like that. Again a good kissing moment, she stares at me, her mouth is really close, I stare at her and I go for it but she withdraws.

    A couple of times like this.


    Freeze Out AND DEPARTURE
    I’m tired of games, refusals, and I’ve been chasing since the beginning.
    Why the hell is she still there after all those refusals?

    So I decide to freeze and let her do something. I tell her “you’re boring”, I withdraw my arm from her neck and cross my arms on my chest while I move my head away.

    She’s taken aback and dumbstruck.
    She tells me “oh you silly boy” and something else to start conversation again. But I wanted more and keep it to my own and don’t reply, not looking at her. She moves talking to the other two. I don’t hear and understand anything of what’s happening (and haven’t asked to my friend yet), but after 2 minutes she pulls her friend and drags her away.

    After a couple of hours and 2 places together they just got up and left, no bye or nothing.




    YOUR FEEDBACKS PLEASE

  2. #2
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    Alcohol may make this worse, but not having a drink does not help rapport unless you are designated driver. I use that and bring ppl just to say I am their DD if I am called out on not having beer or mixed drinks.

    Kino needs to be very lighting beginning and progressively get more intense. Your starting kino should be no worse than the acceptable level of that guy buddy that you have that is a complete homophobic. Then you slowly ramp it up.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    They left because they knew what you were trying to do. She knew you wanted her to come to you and she didn't want to because you showed too much interest or didn't show enough high value.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #4
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    Quote Originally Posted by hometownextra View Post
    Alcohol may make this worse, but not having a drink does not help rapport unless you are designated driver. I use that and bring ppl just to say I am their DD if I am called out on not having beer or mixed drinks.

    Kino needs to be very lighting beginning and progressively get more intense. Your starting kino should be no worse than the acceptable level of that guy buddy that you have that is a complete homophobic. Then you slowly ramp it up.
    You mean alcohol as conductive to stronger reactions?

    Agree, and I was even sipping from her drink. What a dumbass

    Also agree with the kino, and that part of the "complete homophobic" made me laugh, why do you say so?

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    They left because they knew what you were trying to do. She knew you wanted her to come to you and she didn't want to because you showed too much interest or didn't show enough high value.
    Yes, possibly, in which case, if she wasn't coming anyway, it only accelerated things and it wasn't a bad thing (even though minds can change and by staying you still have the chance to eventually turn things around.. ).

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    I think you already know why it spinned out of your control. I commend you though. Your post is very honest and not sugar coated.

    You simply came across as sleazy. Like a player. I don't blame you though. The night was almost over and you're just a squirrel tryna get a nut. Also you may have been pressured by the presence of your friend to not act afraid.

    All good though. Just make sure to not be too sexual too early. Another tip is to have that expectation to take her home, but don't become attached to it. Be ok with just settling for a phone number if it doesn't progress the way you like.

    Next time focus on noticing her uniqueness. Not from the beginning mind you. She still has to earn your interest in her. But once she does, make her feel farking special. Rather than another notch in your belt. It's not too hard to tell which women want a one nighter vs one that needs more comfort. Just calibrate as you go along. Don't fall into the idea that you are guaranteed every woman you come across. It's not realistic. This is about increasing your chances.

    But mistakes build character and experience. So all that happened is that you are now a better PUA because of it.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    EMSaenz's Avatar
    EMSaenz is offline PUA With Mad Respect
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    Women 30 and over already know what they want and how to get it. They've heard it all and probably seen it all too. If your target said she was married it's likely true. If she was allowing some Kino from you it could have been because she was drinking and her inhibitions were down, but not gone - that's why she stopped your advances.

    She may have thought you were immature when you shut her out by crossing your arms and took your silence as pouting! Older women don't fall for that pull/push stuff to easily. They know they can say "No" and do it just to prove that they can.

    If an older woman is interested in you, you'll know it immediately. The chase is short and quick. You may even wonder if she was the real PUA in the picture.
    Carpe diem!

  7. #7
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    At work I am that complete homophobic friend when I am working on a car you touch me I start swinging wrenches, other ppl dry hump each other whilst the victim says ride me you pot belly stallion.

    That instance makes me laugh so long as I am not involved, I tell them at that point first step towards becoming gay is getting married. Tend to notice the most gay things in the shop happen between married dudes.

    The automotive industry is effed up, thank god I start new career Monday working on forklifts. Hope it is less gay.

    Anyway starting Kino very basic makes it way less objectionable then slowly ramping it up will make it less creepy.


    The alcohol consumption on your part is simple alcohol impairs judgement, whilst drinking you may think you are smooth, but you may just be making an a$$ of yourself
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #8
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Froze her out, they got up and left: give me feeds

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I think you already know why it spinned out of your control. I commend you though. Your post is very honest and not sugar coated.

    You simply came across as sleazy. Like a player. I don't blame you though. The night was almost over and you're just a squirrel tryna get a nut. Also you may have been pressured by the presence of your friend to not act afraid.

    All good though. Just make sure to not be too sexual too early. Another tip is to have that expectation to take her home, but don't become attached to it. Be ok with just settling for a phone number if it doesn't progress the way you like.

    Next time focus on noticing her uniqueness. Not from the beginning mind you. She still has to earn your interest in her. But once she does, make her feel farking special. Rather than another notch in your belt. It's not too hard to tell which women want a one nighter vs one that needs more comfort. Just calibrate as you go along. Don't fall into the idea that you are guaranteed every woman you come across. It's not realistic. This is about increasing your chances.

    But mistakes build character and experience. So all that happened is that you are now a better PUA because of it.
    Good tips, thanks.


    Quote Originally Posted by EMSaenz View Post
    Women 30 and over already know what they want and how to get it. They've heard it all and probably seen it all too. If your target said she was married it's likely true. If she was allowing some Kino from you it could have been because she was drinking and her inhibitions were down, but not gone - that's why she stopped your advances.

    She may have thought you were immature when you shut her out by crossing your arms and took your silence as pouting! Older women don't fall for that pull/push stuff to easily. They know they can say "No" and do it just to prove that they can.

    If an older woman is interested in you, you'll know it immediately. The chase is short and quick. You may even wonder if she was the real PUA in the picture.
    I agree with the "older" women's perspective.
    However, that's a tendency, not an iron rule. You might also have 30YO women virgin, shy ones, who got married at 19, who don't go out much, who are very conservative etc. etc..


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