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  • 5 Post By Swagman
  • 1 Post By lucifer7

Thread: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    1st TIME: men issues
    OK, so I was out on some kind of an informal date and brought this girl home, put her on the bed, bra off was ok but meeting resistance in taking the pants off.

    I kept going, she said she really didn’t want to because she wanted to see me again.

    I told her I don’t believe in that crap and said the best way to meet again is if we just follow our emotions and do what we feel like etc. etc.

    After a while she got quite emotional saying she has issues with men and with trusting men.
    Because of her dad (who divorced with her mom when this girl was young and never got involved with her again). She also had issues with a former BF too.
    She was getting very emotional and on the verge of tears while telling these stories and that’s when I decided to stop.

    I cracked a joke and lighten up the mood, and then stood there touching a bit and walked her to the bus stop.
    I feel I did the right thing, even though I’m afraid she might feel like we’re on path for a relationship while I don’t really feel like.


    What do you think?


    2nd Time: period issue
    The second time I was almost sure it was going to fly, she came to my place and cooked me dinner with ingredients she had mostly bought herself (but I chipped in with a fantastic Chianti ).

    On the bed she said she had her period and didn’t feel comfortable doing it.

    I said it was OK for me, I said I actually liked it but nothing.

    I even told her “OK, then if we don’t feel that kind of attraction we can be friend”, only to see her get very sad and feeling myself a bit like an Ahole.

    After that I could remove the panties, got on top of her and could see her excited, thought it might have happened, touched her there and played with the OB’s string inviting to take it off but nothing.

    After some more insisting from my side saying I didn’t care about the period she looked at me very sad and said “and what about my feelings”.
    Damn, those words thrust my heart like a dagger, I felt she was so right, I was being too selfish in thinking it was OK for her so it should have been OK for her as well.
    She might have had real issues in doing it with blood around, at least for the 1st time with me.

    After that sentence I felt I did the right thing even more than on the first occasion, even though being on the bed twice without doing it can be a bit frustrating.


    What do you think?


    Just for information, on the third time out the deed was finally accomplished with basically 0 resistance.

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer7 View Post
    OK, so I was out on some kind of an informal date and brought this girl home, put her on the bed, bra off was ok but meeting resistance in taking the pants off.

    I kept going, she said she really didnít want to because she wanted to see me again.

    I told her I donít believe in that crap and said the best way to meet again is if we just follow our emotions and do what we feel like etc. etc.

    After a while she got quite emotional saying she has issues with men and with trusting men.
    Because of her dad (who divorced with her mom when this girl was young and never got involved with her again). She also had issues with a former BF too.
    She was getting very emotional and on the verge of tears while telling these stories and thatís when I decided to stop.

    I cracked a joke and lighten up the mood, and then stood there touching a bit and walked her to the bus stop.
    I feel I did the right thing, even though Iím afraid she might feel like weíre on path for a relationship while I donít really feel like.


    What do you think?
    Given what I have read so far, I can safely assume that your end goal is sex. You did the right thing to late, though. Remember that no means no. When she said no the first time, you should have respected that and backed off. It should not have taken to the point that she was crying in order for you to not to try and have sex with her. Stopping and respecting what she wants in terms of something as deep and personal as sex is one of those true definitions of what it means to be a man.


    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer7 View Post
    The second time I was almost sure it was going to fly, she came to my place and cooked me dinner with ingredients she had mostly bought herself (but I chipped in with a fantastic Chianti ).

    On the bed she said she had her period and didnít feel comfortable doing it.

    I said it was OK for me, I said I actually liked it but nothing.

    I even told her ďOK, then if we donít feel that kind of attraction we can be friendĒ, only to see her get very sad and feeling myself a bit like an Ahole.

    After that I could remove the panties, got on top of her and could see her excited, thought it might have happened, touched her there and played with the OBís string inviting to take it off but nothing.

    After some more insisting from my side saying I didnít care about the period she looked at me very sad and said ďand what about my feelingsĒ.
    Damn, those words thrust my heart like a dagger, I felt she was so right, I was being too selfish in thinking it was OK for her so it should have been OK for her as well.
    She might have had real issues in doing it with blood around, at least for the 1st time with me.

    After that sentence I felt I did the right thing even more than on the first occasion, even though being on the bed twice without doing it can be a bit frustrating.


    What do you think?
    At this point, I think you need to stop leading her on. If you don't want a relationship, then tell her you don't want a relationship. If you do, then move to make one. By leading her on, you are only causing her more and more pain. Blackmailing her into intimacy by saying that just because she is uncomfortable with intercourse at the moment due to elements that she cannot control, you two will just have to be friends, is a load of negative thoughts and feelings that I will not express right now for the sake of maintaining civility. All you need to know is that I do not approve in the slightest way whatsoever, and I hope that you do not do it again.

    By sealing the deal on the third time, you have dug a huge pit for yourself. Sex is a huge investment for any person to put in. It's the ultimate sign of love and commitment for those who believe it to be so. By the sounds of it, she's one of these individuals. Cut off things with her now and her life's going to be miserable for a good while.

    Overall, I think you need to stop thinking with your little head and start thinking with your big one. You need to stop treating women like things and start treating them like human beings. Don't start doing it when you're feeling sentimental or when the girl has to relive her painful memories just because you want to get it in. Please respect the woman and all that she is.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    Given what I have read so far, I can safely assume that your end goal is sex. You did the right thing to late, though. Remember that no means no. When she said no the first time, you should have respected that and backed off. It should not have taken to the point that she was crying in order for you to not to try and have sex with her. Stopping and respecting what she wants in terms of something as deep and personal as sex is one of those true definitions of what it means to be a man.




    At this point, I think you need to stop leading her on. If you don't want a relationship, then tell her you don't want a relationship. If you do, then move to make one. By leading her on, you are only causing her more and more pain. Blackmailing her into intimacy by saying that just because she is uncomfortable with intercourse at the moment due to elements that she cannot control, you two will just have to be friends, is a load of negative thoughts and feelings that I will not express right now for the sake of maintaining civility. All you need to know is that I do not approve in the slightest way whatsoever, and I hope that you do not do it again.

    By sealing the deal on the third time, you have dug a huge pit for yourself. Sex is a huge investment for any person to put in. It's the ultimate sign of love and commitment for those who believe it to be so. By the sounds of it, she's one of these individuals. Cut off things with her now and her life's going to be miserable for a good while.

    Overall, I think you need to stop thinking with your little head and start thinking with your big one. You need to stop treating women like things and start treating them like human beings. Don't start doing it when you're feeling sentimental or when the girl has to relive her painful memories just because you want to get it in. Please respect the woman and all that she is.
    Well said Swagman love hearing your viewpoint on this one. As the man said this forum is not for discussing about disrespecting women. There is nothing wrong with talking about on here about F-closing women the night you meet them, getting a Day 2 lay, etc but the lay reports should be where it's done properly and as Swagman is saying this was not proper pick up. We are about improving ourselves and getting better with women along the way not just picking them up then throwing them away like they have served their purpose. That will give you a bad mojo. There is a right way to treat a women and hook up with her without being cheap and treating her like a toy. Essentially being a gentleman but not a total nice guy either.

  4. #4
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Guys, that's a bit judgmental and crossing into a personal attack which is based on limited information at best.

    I don't think she would like me if I hadn't been a good person to her overall, which I was, along several hours of interaction, except for those instances described above and including the time spent after that (staying in bed after, to the bus stop, via texts.. ).
    And included the "fatal PUA mistake" of paying the first time out
    And I have no intention whatsoever to leading her on if it will soon become clear we want and expect different things.

    I pushed it a bit because I was of the idea we were in the "mating ritual" where the girl doesn't want to be seen as a slut and she would have appreciated intimacy as well.
    And in my experience many girls don't really mind sex during period if they feel sure the guy won't judge them/be creeped out.
    I was wrong, it can happen.
    When she said "what about my feelings", then I realized she did really mind and backed off.

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Anyway, thanks for the feed, it's a bit off topic but even if I believe it's misdirected in this case I am on your same line: if there's one thing I really dislike about the PUA community is the so often transpiring "women objectification" (sometimes crossing to pure misogyny).

    I wrote a long post about it not long ago.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer7 View Post
    Anyway, thanks for the feed, it's a bit off topic but even if I believe it's misdirected in this case I am on your same line: if there's one thing I really dislike about the PUA community is the so often transpiring "women objectification" (sometimes crossing to pure misogyny).

    I wrote a long post about it not long ago.

    Now there's someone who knows how to take criticism construcively. Well played my friend well played. You are on your way to becoming a MPUA it's not just gaming women man it's everything the whole package so to speak and you are getting it. Bravo. Look forward to hearing of your improvements. Just a little tweaking and you'll be good to go. Just a little more smooth and don't try to force it like that. Just let the women come to you man don't do all the work that's my moto. If they are coming to you then you know they want it and it will be more validation for you on your part so a better experience in the long run.


    Besides what would your view of a true pick up artist be? Would it just be the man who gets laid all the time and can pull girls? So short sighted. That's not what I am aiming for yet so many guys think that is the pinnacle you can hope for as a PUA. Sure the lay is the reward for all the hard work but is that the true image of a PUA? No those guys who get laid all the time are and I said it once I will say it again they are just Players. They are so curious what comes after sex they just don't get it. A true PUA is someone that is surrounded by women and the Alpha Male who has first pick of the women in a "tribe" as Mystery calls it which just means social gathering or Club. That's what I am aiming for to be surrounded by women and have my choice of which one I want not just to get laid. Man some guys need to listen to Mystery again.

  7. #7
    HamdiVA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: FR: Stopped on emotional LMR and on period - give me feed

    Hello ...
    Here is what i recommand to you :
    1)The 'she really didnít want because she wanted to see me again' : Often it is the case that your romantic interest doesn't feel qualified enough, she believes if she gives it up too easily, you will simply move on afterwards.
    This is why it's so important in A3 for her to feel that her efforts are succeeding and that she is winning you over.
    Here is a technique that i use , every time when i hang out with a girl i make her imaginating a situation with me (ioi) then i tease her with a laugh (calibrate) that will make her think what she can do with me and she believes that she will see me again after i f**k her.
    2)persist : If you reach her LMR , do a slight tactical retreat and then continue. For example, stop trying to remove her shirt just makeout with her for a bit longer, then try the shirt again.
    3)If the LMR seems insurmountable, just do a Freeze-Out: check your email, go to the kitchen to make a sandwich, or pull out a checkers board and challenge her to a game.
    The power of this is in its sincere delivery. If you were sulking, that would show that you were affected. But you're unaffected. Just switch off the arousal circuitry like it's no big deal and freeze her out sexually, then try again in ten minutes.


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