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Thread: Day Game. Blanked out.

  1. #61
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Girl A Update:

    *holding a shield to my face* I know I've read gunsnglory's previous post 3 times and I know I'm not supposed to ASK her to go and do something together for the weekend, but I did. I got a bit nervous when I did it and it came out the wrong way. However, I guess what saved me was the attraction capital that I've saved up and so it didn't come off TOO weird. She said in a slight hesitant voice "well... ok.." and proceeded to ask who's going to come. I told her it'll just be us 2 and she went kinda quiet for a bit. The rest of the lesson carried on and I didn't see any signs of attraction being lost. she was still doing the same stuff. I thought about grabbing her hand and giving it a bit of a squeeze except she kept her hand either on her chin or wrapped around her stomach or something like that which would make awkward if I did try to proceed. I've setup a movie thing on Sunday which by then they'll be playing 2012 and I'm interested in the movie myself so this is going to be good (hopefully). But by now, I think she knows what I'm heading into and we'll see if she thinks I'm going too fast or not. If what gunsnglory says is right, this screw up shouldn't hit me too hard as she already wants to be with me so badly.

  2. #62
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    You are just reaching the penultimate point of the game. She know there is interest and she is interested. She wants it to work, and she has already made the decision to be with you emotionally. However, she mentally is fighting it.

    She has a boyfriend.
    What will her friends think?
    What if you are a jerk?

    Those types of thoughts are battling with her emotions. You can't let the pressure up at this point. If you move too quickly (I doubt you are endanger of this), you could freak her out, but it would take a lot at this point. If you move too slowly (very likely), she will be able to convince herself that "really, we are only good friends". If that happens, game over. You lose.
    Now, that isn't to say, that she won't give you resistance along the way. Part of you winning the battle, will be to help her deal with her emotional guilt and hang ups. She will throw out objections, and you must side step them. For instance, she will say something like, "We shouldn't be doing this." Then you need to agree with her and keep going. If she strenuously objects, then you back up a little, and start again, slowly. You only stop, if she physically, stops you and sternly tells you "No". She will object, because it allows her to not feel guilty, if she can tell herself, that she "made a stand" before caving to her emotions.

    Movies are generally bad date ideas. They are not a good place to get physical, you can't talk, and she does not require you to do anything for her to have fun. Since you sold her on the movie already, I would tell her that you want to meet early, like an hour or two before. Set up something with her where you guys will have some alone time. You might tell her that you want to go for a walk before the movie to get some exercise to combat all that sitting at the movies. Then take her for a walk, where there is some seclusion, and stop and sit to "talk". Or, if your house is not too crowded, make up some excuse for why she needs to come over to your place first. Try to make it a fun thing.

    In either case, you need to close her, in some sense of the word, before you guys go to the movie. Due to your age/logistics, I will leave the close up to you. I suggest a passionate make-out/heavy petting. All things you can get away with in semi-secluded public areas, and not things that are likely to get horribly roadblocked by religious preferences, or surprise appearance of an interloper.

  3. #63
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Girl A text game update:

    The following is the most recent conversation I've had with Girl A via text.

    **note: interactions going back and forth are delayed in response for about 10 mins each.

    Girl A: Where's the theater you wanted to go to?

    Me: (Name of the mall)

    Girl A: Okies. what time is the show?

    Me: It starts at 2pm but we should meet at 1 <- I thought she would wonder why

    Girl A: Okiessssss. Sounds good

    Me: k. We'll meet at the place where I picked up you and decoy_b.

    Girl A: Ok thats good

    ----- Big Pause ------

    Girl A: Sunday right?? :P

    Me: haha, yep.

    Girl A:Kk see you then

    ---------end---------

    I'm surprised. I thought she would wonder why I ask her to come 1 hr early, but she didn't at all. I'm thinking about picking her up via my car and driving back home. We've got a park near by so we can walk around there and there's also a hill around the area where we can sit down and get the close going.

  4. #64
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    The fact that she didn't ask is a good thing. Best of luck.

  5. #65
    incognito Guest

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    Sounds like a good plan with Girl A.

  6. #66
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Actually, things might not go so well. The thing is, my parents might need the car on Sunday which means I will have to make her walk 15 mins to get back to my house and then do the walk (which sounds kinda crazy). So far, the only plan I could come up with is to go to a classy restaurant in that mall and "have a drink" it will have a nice environment and I'll sit next to her, that way I can get the Kino going easily in a quieter environment.

  7. #67
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    If you can't get the car, I wouldn't tell her that. I would just go to her place, when you are supposed to meet her for the movie. Then you can say, "Well that's too bad. Let's go do X instead." That way you guys still hang out, and you show that you can be spontaneous and fun, even when things don't go as planned.

    An observation:
    You repeatedly think about trying to set up classical dates with this girl. That is bad, you want to steer away from that. Why? Because it establishes that you want to "date" her. You don't want to date her in the classical sense of the word. If you are dating, it means that you spend many dates slowly progressing in the relationship. That is bad, and at each date, she gets another opportunity to decide if she wants you. Furthermore, a classic date makes you like every other guy she ever dated. So get her to do crazy, non-date things with you.

    Early in the relationship, you have to have innocuous excuses to hang out with her. You are past that point. You have built attraction, which is a good enough reason to hang out with her. Invite her to go with you on a quest to find the "craziest hat" in town, or tell her that she hasn't lived until she has gone golf ball driving at midnight. Tell her that you want to find the oldest grave in the cemetery. Maybe she needs to learn about the fun that is squirrel fishing. Yeah they all sound crazy. That's the point. Just be incredibly charismatic when you tell her to come along. It really doesn't matter what you do, because you will be having fun doing it, and because of your attitude, and the attraction she has for you, she will have a blast. Not only that, but it puts you miles ahead of all the normal guys who do normal things with her.

    Related story:
    I once was walking with a girl, back to her place, after getting coffee with her. It was the middle of January, and ice and snow was everywhere. We came to a hill covered in ice. There were several cardboard boxes, that previous people had used for sleds. Immediately, I grabbed her hand and pulled her up the hill. We spent about 30 minutes sledding together on those boxes. It was crazy and spontaneous. Those thirty minutes took me from casual coffee date to intense relationship.
    Last edited by gunsnglory; 11-12-2009 at 08:43 PM.

  8. #68
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnglory View Post
    If you can't get the car, I wouldn't tell her that. I would just go to her place, when you are supposed to meet her for the movie. Then you can say, "Well that's too bad. Let's go do X instead." That way you guys still hang out, and you show that you can be spontaneous and fun, even when things don't go as planned.

    An observation:
    You repeatedly think about trying to set up classical dates with this girl. That is bad, you want to steer away from that. Why? Because it establishes that you want to "date" her. You don't want to date her in the classical sense of the word. If you are dating, it means that you spend many dates slowly progressing in the relationship. That is bad, and at each date, she gets another opportunity to decide if she wants you. Furthermore, a classic date makes you like every other guy she ever dated. So get her to do crazy, non-date things with you.

    Early in the relationship, you have to have innocuous excuses to hang out with her. You are past that point. You have built attraction, which is a good enough reason to hang out with her. Invite her to go with you on a quest to find the "craziest hat" in town, or tell her that she hasn't lived until she has gone golf ball driving at midnight. Tell her that you want to find the oldest grave in the cemetery. Maybe she needs to learn about the fun that is squirrel fishing. Yeah they all sound crazy. That's the point. Just be incredibly charismatic when you tell her to come along. It really doesn't matter what you do, because you will be having fun doing it, and because of your attitude, and the attraction she has for you, she will have a blast. Not only that, but it puts you miles ahead of all the normal guys who do normal things with her.

    Related story:
    I once was walking with a girl, back to her place, after getting coffee with her. It was the middle of January, and ice and snow was everywhere. We came to a hill covered in ice. There were several cardboard boxes, that previous people had used for sleds. Immediately, I grabbed her hand and pulled her up the hill. We spent about 30 minutes sledding together on those boxes. It was crazy and spontaneous. Those thirty minutes took me from casual coffee date to intense relationship.
    A little clarification on this topic is that we're meeting at the subway station of where I picked her up for the group group date thing. I didn't tell her if there was going to be a car or not. In this case, I can take the idea to going on the scavenger hunt for the craziest X. The thing is... I need to close her somehow after and by walking around the whole mall, this isn't going to help with the close. Would it be alright if say I use the scavenger hunt and then go like "oh let's grab a drink before we go to the movie" and close then?
    Last edited by Mystery_wannabe; 11-12-2009 at 09:29 PM.

  9. #69
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Minor Update:

    I got the car. The preferred setting is a go!

  10. #70
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Update on Girl A:

    I won't tell you my thoughts this time. I don't want to persuade you to think in a certain way before you've finished analyzing all the facts that I'm going to provide. However, I do want you guys to give me your thoughts in the end so I can get a more conclusive decision on what's going on.

    We met up at the subway station. I was a 10 mins late and she hit me up with a message. Everything seemed fine and we bought tickets to see the show. I was thinking of using gunsnglory's tactic to do a crazy shopping event thing, but she said she wanted to go into the theaters early. We went in and did a bit of chatting inside the theaters. Since it's the first day of screening at my theater, it soon became jam packed and chatter started to fill everywhere. We made comments and laughed a few times along the way, but I started to understand exactly why gunsnglory said that movies was a bad idea (I won't do this again). I tried feeding her some pop corn but she gave me this "uhh.. what are you doing?" look so I dropped it into her hand instead. While we're walking out of the theater, she suddenly hides behind me and I'm didn't know what was happening. Apparently her ex appeared in the theater with another girl. He of course kept checking me out. We shook hands and I stayed calm (to not show any fear). She then goes on to tell me that she used to be anti-social so he was the guy who got into her pants back in the day. I felt kinda awkward because I've never been in a situation like this. Her ex completely took her away when he kept chatting with her and I could feel that he was shoving me off. We came out of the theater and she's waiting for me to take her to the next step. I took her on the shopping spree thing. She made a few recommendations and we chatted about the types of style and her preference on what would look good on a guy. The shopping thing ended quickly so I decided to take her to a place to eat just so that she won't go back home on an empty stomach (a filler so it looks like we're doing something different before sending her back home). She suggested that we get a drink cause she's cooking dinner at home. I taught her how to play a drinking game but it didn't seem like she understood what I was trying to tell her. The game of course, didn't last too long. So she finishes her drink and looks at the time "oh it's 6pm, I've gotta go". She calls her boyfriend and over the phone she said something like this "hey it's me... Did you cook dinner already? Oh... ok, I'm coming home soon. I miss you too". I drove her back to the subway station and she says bye with a little bit of a hesitant look. My impression of that expression was "o... that's it?" (but again this is open to interpretation). She then says "well.. thanks for inviting me, I had a great time" and leaves.


    ----------------------
    My thoughts after:
    ----------------------

    So I assume now you've finished reading this entire entry before looking at this part. I will now tell you my thoughts. I hope this doesn't change your response in anyway because I want it to be neutral. As you are all aware from my signature, I am currently reading conquer your campus and I've right at the section about the 4 traits of being alpha. Now I won't spoil everything for you guys but I've started to notice the things I did that totally wasn't alpha. I'm pretty sure if gunsnglory saw this post he'd agree with me. I see myself behaving like an AFC in some ways and maybe that is the reason why things didn't go any further. I'm still being submissive to her in some ways even though I've tried hard to combat that. I've given too much thought about what she thinks and what I hope to get out of this rather than concentrating on what I want to do that is fun. I've also made the mistake of losing my masculinity in this but unable to build any Kino with her. I had a chance to grab her hand, I had a chance to wrap her hand around me while we were walking around the mall but I became AFC and let her loosely walking around. In essence I communicated fear of being physical with women. I waited for her to give me the green lights! Because I got so nervous, essentially I couldn't enjoy myself and therefore, I had to keep thinking about "what to do next" which screwed me over completely. I guess all I'm missing now is practice of going on dates so I can be more confident when I do it.

    At the moment, I'm considering taking instinct's advice about turning her into a pivot because I see her as highly socially developed. She does all sort of crazy things that I could not imagine. I watched as she tried to flirt with a stranger. She's definitely not a regular, more of a PUA. I feel as if she's controlling when I get a piece of her and when I don't. I want to escalate with her in terms of kino though. I want to see if I can at least give her a hug. This way I get a feel for how I can do this to other girls without looking awkward.
    Last edited by Mystery_wannabe; 11-15-2009 at 08:24 PM.


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