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  • 1 Post By Slybootsucci

Thread: N-closed at the Grocery. Need help though.

  1. #1
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default N-closed at the Grocery. Need help though.

    I posted this is the wrong section I think it belongs here more so than in How to Text. Sorry :/

    So I'm at the grocery store today I'm wandering looking lost through the store and as I'm going to get my last ingredient, I have my head over my shoulder looking back to make sure I don't miss anything, and I see what looked to be a HB7 make eye contact with me and turn her head as she passed the aisle.

    Immediately I forget Girl A who I'm worried about trying to date more atm. Then I remember her, then I realize how good it felt to know that if that doesn't work out there's other fish, some a little worse, but eventually one way better too!

    So just to be sure I go around the corner to check and see if I can find her and get a second glance. Sure enough she's back behind the deli counter and as I pass by to look like I'm getting something elsewhere I can see her looking at me. Good sign.

    One problem: I'm done shopping. I need no meat either for fondue dipping. But I decide WAIT, ham would work. Cube it. It's genius, and it gives me an entry. What's $5 for a chance to have another girl interested in me especially if Girl A might make me feel like shit and get aa again if I get rejected after k-closing and getting 3 dates so far.

    This is too long already so I'll finish it.

    I go up, we laugh a lot about my awkward request for chunks of ham that I can easily cube and what kind to get.

    She asks if that's all I need and I say yes, and she double checks that yes. AA won. For a second, but I go buy my stuff and come back and tell her:

    Hey what was your name? Oh well nice to meet you, I actually did need something else.

    Her: what's that?

    Me: I would actually like to have your phone number.

    Her: smiling* Why's that?

    Me: oh you know, so we can talk some more sometime

    Her: smiling still* Okay haha, JUST as friends though! Ok?

    Me: Okay sure thing! (not TOO sarcastically, almost convincingly)

    She grabs a pen and some register receipt and scribbles it down for me and I thank her and thats that.

    WHAT do I text her? To me given the situation I feel it's okay to contact her tomorrow evening. After all, I'm making that fondue alone tonight it turns out girl A has plans tomorrow so I'm just doing it now, told her fondue waits for no one lol.

    I'm not sure what to say though about the friends thing to this other girl though.

    I have an opener - "Hey T, I don't think I actually gave you my name but this is Sly, the guy who's ham you cut the other day... LOL. How are things?"

    When she responds, hopefully laughing, I'm going to have to immediately deal with her pre-set shit test about being just friends.

    What do I even say?

    Some options I thought of were:

    "So what's with this just friends nonsense? You got a man or something, didn't seem like it the way you were drooling over the deli counter. It was cute though, dont be embarrassed "

    "So since we're just friends does this mean you're going to pay for dinner?"

    "I seem to remember you saying this was a just friends deal btw? Does that mean I just found my new wing-girl? No jealousy though, you have to promise."

    Or should I just ask plainly? What do you guys think? Help me out here!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: N-closed at the Grocery. Need help though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Slybootsucci View Post
    I posted this is the wrong section I think it belongs here more so than in How to Text. Sorry :/

    So I'm at the grocery store today I'm wandering looking lost through the store and as I'm going to get my last ingredient, I have my head over my shoulder looking back to make sure I don't miss anything, and I see what looked to be a HB7 make eye contact with me and turn her head as she passed the aisle.

    Immediately I forget Girl A who I'm worried about trying to date more atm. Then I remember her, then I realize how good it felt to know that if that doesn't work out there's other fish, some a little worse, but eventually one way better too!

    So just to be sure I go around the corner to check and see if I can find her and get a second glance. Sure enough she's back behind the deli counter and as I pass by to look like I'm getting something elsewhere I can see her looking at me. Good sign.

    One problem: I'm done shopping. I need no meat either for fondue dipping. But I decide WAIT, ham would work. Cube it. It's genius, and it gives me an entry. What's $5 for a chance to have another girl interested in me especially if Girl A might make me feel like sh1t and get aa again if I get rejected after k-closing and getting 3 dates so far.

    This is too long already so I'll finish it.

    I go up, we laugh a lot about my awkward request for chunks of ham that I can easily cube and what kind to get.

    She asks if that's all I need and I say yes, and she double checks that yes. AA won. For a second, but I go buy my stuff and come back and tell her:

    Hey what was your name? Oh well nice to meet you, I actually did need something else.

    Her: what's that?

    Me: I would actually like to have your phone number.

    Her: smiling* Why's that?

    Me: oh you know, so we can talk some more sometime

    Her: smiling still* Okay haha, JUST as friends though! Ok?

    Me: Okay sure thing! (not TOO sarcastically, almost convincingly)

    She grabs a pen and some register receipt and scribbles it down for me and I thank her and thats that.

    WHAT do I text her? To me given the situation I feel it's okay to contact her tomorrow evening. After all, I'm making that fondue alone tonight it turns out girl A has plans tomorrow so I'm just doing it now, told her fondue waits for no one lol.

    I'm not sure what to say though about the friends thing to this other girl though.

    I have an opener - "Hey T, I don't think I actually gave you my name but this is Sly, the guy who's ham you cut the other day... LOL. How are things?"

    When she responds, hopefully laughing, I'm going to have to immediately deal with her pre-set sh1t test about being just friends.

    What do I even say?

    Some options I thought of were:

    "So what's with this just friends nonsense? You got a man or something, didn't seem like it the way you were drooling over the deli counter. It was cute though, dont be embarrassed "

    "So since we're just friends does this mean you're going to pay for dinner?"

    "I seem to remember you saying this was a just friends deal btw? Does that mean I just found my new wing-girl? No jealousy though, you have to promise."

    Or should I just ask plainly? What do you guys think? Help me out here!

    Dude, dude, dude. What do you expect the girl to say "Just as friends though" or "Just for sex though" Come on man if she said that to every dude not only would she be a slut but also grounds for termination due to overt sexual harassment. She gave you such a doorway. Some guys on here say there is no such thing as "the friendzone" and in your case I believe them. There ain't no friendzone for you here. If you even dare repeat those comments "What's up with this friends thing?" you suggested not only will you be viewed as a weaker man but proving that you really are just a friend and so she will put in the lame category like so many other men that women do so often. You obviously made her nervous (you weren't all that smooth with your N-close) but she still likes you. My advice? What else would you rather be with a woman you just met? Friends, enemies, lovers, or sex toys? I would love it if all the women I met just wanted to be friends with me. Sometimes I have to constantly convince them that we are friends and not enemies. So your strategy is simple, look at it this way. You are friends with her which invites you into her personal life and gives you a reason to be there (meet up with her, call her, text her). Instead of looking at you as a total stranger you can always use the friends excuse if she tries to shut you down. But I wouldn't bring up the friends thing unless she is trying to get rid of you. She wants to be friends view that as potential not a lack of any romantic involvement be an optimist not a pessimist. If women are smart and most are they want to be friends first before diving into anything with a new man (crazy wild nights excluded lol). She left the door open for you man.

    Don't AFC yourself by thinking you are stuck in the friendzone. Just treat her like you would to a girl you thought wanted to seduce you. Women are subtle man and send mixed signals all the time. The factors that she sent you a mixed signal is obviously confusing you but I have been around women long enough to learn to only listen when they tell me to fark off, take a hike, have their BF involved, drop dead, go away, call the cops, married, etc. Other than that it's free game. If she brings it up again just tell her "yes we are just friends, with benefits that is." She will be amused by your level of confidence and probably instantly change her mind. Women are fickle like this. One minute all logic the next all emotion. Good texting opener though no qualms there. Your inner game needs some work though since she is making you too insecure. Remember unphased, that's what we always chant around here and the key to passing sh!t tests, getting out of the rejection zone (yes I have flipped these before), bouncing back from b!tch shields, is to remain unphased. When you keep that cool calm demeanor with you with a little bit of pizazz you are a Rico Suave with the ladies (not always but definitely helps loads). Instead of investing yourself and saying you "would like to have their number" suggest more mysteriously "why not give me your number and we see where it goes?" You seemed too invested like if she said no it would be a crushing defeat. Trust me I been there and never going back to being needy for the number ever again.

  3. #3
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: N-closed at the Grocery. Need help though.

    Wonderful.

    Totally agree. I mean I could tell she was just shitting with me. Just friends? After she just checked me out twice over and got nervous and blushed and smiled a ton. Yah. SURE. But I also didn't want to be over cocky and say that.

    Thank you for all the help most of all though. I understand exactly what you mean by being over needy for the number. And she did seem nervous mostly because the end of the n-close wasn't exactly smooth, but I was positive it would work from the connection we'd already made so far, and I was right.

    I like how you mentioned being unphased too. Sometimes I FEEL like I am phased when i actually havent shown or said anything to make that apparent to the girls I like. For instance a girl I've been really into just recently is barely texting me back, and I feel like I've smothered her. But when I think back she did apologize for not texting me back a few times and also, I never went over the line and sent extra extra desperate texts. If I said something stupid and she stopped talking, I just stopped talking too. It wouldn't been far from over now if I had gone any further. Just goes to show that me remaining unphased is giving me a chance to hold her interest still. I'm going cold on her and focusing on getting a job and getting a date with this girl and one more. That's my goal. Then if that other (smothered) girl hasn't contacted me, I'll just apologize for it and leave it at that. Or if she does contact me I'll play it cool and stay busy to show her I'm not going to go right back into smother-mode.

    All very intriguing. Thanks again man!


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