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  1. #1
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    Ok, I've been to bars and nightclubs in the past but usually I wouldn't say much to women. Tonight was interesting. Not totally successful by any means but not a total failure either. I didn't get any numbers but I must have approached about 6-10 females or at least three sets. This place seemed like a a bit of a dive bar to me on the surface as I had drove by many times. However, some guy who was a bartender at another venue mentioned they had a patio so I checked it out. I got a free drink(a beer)from some little dude wearing a cowboy hat. I didn't say anything to him or thank him for some reason(possibly because he was on the other side of the bar). So I must have said "hey" or "hi" or "hello" to about eight to ten women at least. Most of the time it didn't transform into much a conversation. Plus I'm in my forties and this was a twenty something crowd but to be honest I don't really care that much about that. I'm just saying. So one girl walks past this one guy and makes a comment about her height. I noticed she had heels on. Then out of the blue she said she likes my shirt. I'm not used to being complimented so I tell her I like her thing around her neck. Big mistake I know. I should have said something like "well, I'll take my shirt off later and you can tweak my nipples." HOwever, I didn't think quick and the conversation died out. I then talked to some other girls. I just said screw it and tried to be social. I didn't hesitate to talk to dudes even when they were by themselves.

    The strange thing is I recognized the bartender. She used to work at a fast food place but now is a nurse or studying to be a nurse or something and I guess works at the bar at night. We had this joke about going to Atlantic City to play the slots so I reminded her of it right before I left. I said something like "next month we'll go to Atlantic City." She was like "ok." I think next time I'll s ay to her something like "you know I'm not kidding about that. Can you handle that?" I'll then see how she handles it. She's about an HB8.

    Any advice about tonight would be appreciated and I'm going to write down my mistakes and number of women(approximately) in a journal. THere were three hot blondes that I tried talking to. Actually I just said "hey guys" and maybe "hello" to one of them but they were sitting at the bar and I was behind them so I didn't get anywhere with them. I might have tried too hard tonight but at least I tried which is more than I can say about what I usually did in the past. This was good practice for me. I figured since this was my first night really sarging I would take it easy on myself so I left after my one(free)beer. I'm at a point now that no matter what, I'll keep sarging.

  2. #2
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    OK. So I didn't get any numbers but it was a real breakthrough for me because I finally approached women. Approaching is key. Most guys, especially AFC's can't do it. You just have to suck it up and do it. Now that I have done it I will probably be able to do it every time I go out. So what if I get blown out. Who cares? The more I do it the better I get.

    Also, I approached men so that I didn't appear as though I was on the prowl and just out for one thing. Many guys miss this. I wanted to just be social. That's also important. It is tough but I think the more I do it the better I'll get at it.

  3. #3
    PokerPlayer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    So where do you usually pick up women? I'm sort of in the same boat of being too old for some bars.

  4. #4
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    How old are you? Yeah, I bet I'm twenty years older than some of these women. These are just casual bars. I think ones that have a deck are good but it's not necessary. Neighborhood bars can be good but it's more casual. You just have to check out your local scene and see who goes there. I don't have a problem with younger women and hopefully they are ok with me talking to them. If not I don't have a chain around their neck. They can walk away or whatever. Most of the sets I approached weren't rude but most weren't super friendly or just dying to meet me either. You can't be outcome dependent though. You just have to jump in and do it and try to keep the conversation going until they either look bored or you get bored or until you are able to really get them interested.

  5. #5
    tdotdork is offline Banned
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    Some of it is your intention. If you just say a mere hi, and don't have anything purposeful to say after, then you won't get much of a conversation out of the person. Try asking advice on your pickup line(i.e. your opener) or do something ballsy that you have never done before that stretches your comfort zone
    -MR .
    Last edited by KristiBell; 12-15-2013 at 02:12 PM.

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    Well that's just it. I'm trying to come up with things to say after "hello" or "hey." I will probably need to come up with a list or something.

  7. #7
    tdotdork is offline Banned
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    Ah I see, well if you are in Toronto, I can offer you a FREE hour of coaching and we can work through your issues together!
    After "hey" or "Hello" here's an example (check my b

    A super all-in-one, this is the direct ask-out approach cushioned with a joke.

    "Quick question, would you like to go for coffee sometime...I'd like to figure out if you're as gorgeous on the inside as you are on the outside"

    1. talk about the situation, hey do you know what's going on over there(if there is interesting music) .. then know something in particular going on like maybe a Native Indian playing music, so that way you can point it out as not just a generic opener, and that you legitimately are talking about it

    2. Compliment? Hi, I saw you passing by, thought you were astronomically gorgeous wanted to say hi, I'm Mike

    3. Hi, Do you remember me? ... no? that's because we haven't met before I'm Mike

    Instead of INTERVIEW QUESTIONS, take a guess, or alternate between question-statement-question-statement .. etc

    those were mostly openers after that
    -Nationality Take a guess
    -Guess her profession based on her outfit, or if she has lots of make-up or an outrageous thing like different colored nails, perhaps guess shes in fashion
    -College/University/ Profession ... hopefully they are done college/university depending on your target age


    Closers
    -Well it was great talking with you , I'd like continue this lovely conversation sometime over some coffee,

    Hope that helps and best of luck to you!
    Last edited by KristiBell; 12-15-2013 at 02:11 PM.

  8. #8
    PokerPlayer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    I was just asking cause it looks like you've been on this site for some time and you said it was the first time you went to a bar so I was wondering if you had found a good non-bar place to meet woman.

    I'm in my 30's and I've gotten numbers from girls in bars before. However, I live in a college town so if I'm looking for a girl my age some of the bars in my area are not ideal.

  9. #9
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    Well let me put it this way. I have lots and lots of knowledge about pick up theory but haven't spent enough time in field. I've only recently been able to get the confidence to go out and really take this seriously. I have sort of been very casual about it and waiting for things to happen but also just haven't found that many good venues. There definitely has been an aspect of Approach Anxiety though. I just finally said "screw it" to myself and decided to just suck it up and not be outcome dependent. I have had some success online but only with chat rooms. I would like to be able to pick up and seduce higher quality women though. I really feel like it's now or never for me. I'm 43 and not getting any younger. Fortunately there does seem to be some women who like tall, bald guys. I'm not going to rely on my appearance to try to pick up women of course.

  10. #10
    PokerPlayer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first time really trying to talk to women in a bar

    I would say if you have aa and want to meet older women Meetup groups and POF singles events have lots of women in their 40's and it's much easier to approach people at those events. Match Stir events are also great if you're looking for girls in their later 20's early 30's.


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