Interesting bit of dialogue and a thought for discussion if anyone cares to chime in;
So, I'm chatting to a cutie from way back that I was into before I got serious and was still guts deep in Approach Anxiety. I was a quivering wreck and this one night that I got her out, I didn't move quick enough, she got pissed with me and things went cold afterwards. I chalked it up as another lesson to learn and removed myself from the situation. I didn't open her to talk to anymore but if ever we saw each other (she's a friend of a family member) I'd always be polite, shoot the shit with her and just be chill like I always was.
Anyway, catching you up to speed things went dead and then she went jet-setting to The Bahamas for a month. Today on the second time she opened me, she's grilling me about parties I'm going to and my recent happenings but then I change it onto her. She mentions she's having lunch with a friend and practicing (she's a musician).
ME: Ooh, someone's got a hot date then?
HB7: What, with myself? Yeah, definitely.
ME: Ew. Pervert. :P You're sick.
HB7: What do you mean by that?
ME: Going on a "date" with yourself. That's creepy. :P
HB7: Somebody has to. Nobody else is falling at my feet at the moment.
Now I'm a complex fellow. Well no, not really. I'm a neurotic who can't take a hint. Rather than take the obvious que of "Please, hurry up and do me" and "My window of opportunity is open" I instead go straight for the ruthless psychoanalysis that makes me completely unbearable 95% of the time until you need a life affirming conversation and a true pep-talk to set you straight.
I explain to her that 85% of men are petrified of rejection and are groomed to ease in slow, talk to girls, make them comfortable and then hope they'll grow to like them rather than just being straight forward about it. They'll take the slightest hint of disinterest as a game over, so, when a girl comes out swinging with absolute verbal maulings and straight up rudeness then the men separated from the boys will find themselves falling back into rank.
I even told her that the truth about how I used to be interested in her myself and even as one of those afforementioned tough cookies (I may have been bullshitting here), even I got chills from the cold just radiating from this ice queen. I told her I lost interest because I could envision myself getting in too deep and then just banging my head against the wall.
This hit her square in the gizzards. Imagine an uppercut which sends torrents of blood flying skywards out of their mouth. That's what this was.
Fun and games was over. She started shutting down like crazy, trying to disappear while apologisingly profusely for the way she was with me. I calm her down and explain to her that she didn't upset me that night but made me think that I'd prefer to keep her as a friend and that if she was truly sorry she wouldn't go into total lockdown. While I'm explaining where things went wrong, she's trying to tell me she's one of the warmest people I'll meet but that she's just not confident so she comes across that way.
In the end, I talk her down and say this;
ME: "Alright look, if you're saying that I got the wrong end of the stick and that you're not the way you came across that night and it was just nerves then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Why don't you show me who you really are? Would you like to hang out with me?"
Tentatively, I got the yes and I set a day and a time and now I'm seeing her on Wednesday.
Obviously in retrospect what happened was she was way into me, I blew it by not acting fast enough when attraction was still high and then I made myself scarce. She fought to keep onto me and my astute analysis and admission of a previous attraction got her thinking again. However, the logistics behind this conversation make me feel like I've made a hash of this somehow.
In all my studying of pick-up (and believe me, I've read a farking tonne. I've mentally masturbated myself into a Hugh Heffner-esque carapace), it's never come up that butchering a girl and explaining her shortcomings would turn a situation around like that. I can't help but think I've made a grave error here. Any experts care to elaborate on why this is happening? Am I onto a winner here?