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Thread: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

  1. #1
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Hey guys, I'm Lunchbox but for the purposes of these field reports I'll refer to myself by my last name "Boyce".

    The basics about me are as follows;
    -20 years old
    -Studying for my degree, about to begin the second year
    -I'm from England.
    -I'm 6'2, a little bit on the fat side but I don't let it affect me too much. I'm working to burn it off, but it's a non-factor as far as confidence goes. I have a number three all over haircut and my fashion sense is t-shirts, shirts and jeans of a comfortable nature. I never look scruffy but I don't look like I try hard either.
    -Current hobbies include Creative Writing (seven years), Amateur Boxing (year and a half, working on fitness before my first fight), Acoustic Guitar (six weeks) and PUA and Social Skill improvement (been wrestling with it for about five years).
    -I've had limited experience and success with girls, spending most of my time with some major beta male complexes until I started reading about PUA. My college years however saw a change in pattern but I've still been adjusting to the process. I had a relationship that lasted a year which ended when I wanted it to. I currently have a friend with benefits and have had a few one night stands.

    My objectives are as follows;
    -Become more socially competent across the board (not just with women)
    -Raise my standing socially by detaching myself from the system and "unplugging" from the matrix. I don't jostle for rank with people anymore. I build up others but never to my own detriment, and I shut out people who try to drag me down with non-verbal cues and total ignoring.
    -Meet beautiful women and bag myself some real catches.
    -Have a lot of flings until I find someone I want to settle down with and generally set myself a higher standard.

    In order to do this, the plan is to go balls out in the day game and speak to everybody I can so I pick up a vibe as an approachable and friendly, direct man about town. There's been some considerable improvements before I started this field report which is why I'm doing it because I feel now my findings are going to be worthwhile reading. However, I still have weaknesses to combat.

    So, without further ado, here's a summary of my last week or so;

    ENCOUNTER 1
    HB-?
    I know I'm off to a bad start talking to you guys about this one because I don't actually know this person. It's entirely possible that this person is actually a man. It's a skype contact that I've known for a long while through various social circles and has great trepidation about sending out pictures to low self esteem. However, I'm using the opportunity to game as practice and it appears to be going well so far.

    Day 1 was spent trying to get to know this person better. They're very ungiving and superficial in the group conversations we end up falling into, so taking the time to actually get to know this girl posed a nice challenge and within half an hour of deep diving and asking questions I got to know about her daily routine, her life ambitions, a tonne of stuff about her personality and I also got her to describe herself to me. I'm eventually going to angle this towards getting a picture sent. The low self esteem maybe for a reason because she's not all that attractive, but it's nice practice and I know it's not going anywhere so I can afford to be balls out.

    Day 2 was even better. On our second conversation, I began to do some chase framing and making flirtatious remarks. She told me she really wanted to learn a martial art and I made a joke about her "working on her kung fu grip". She played along with it and said that I wanted her to do martial arts so she could use that "grip" on me, and I turned it back saying the reason she wanted to take up martial arts in the first place was so I couldn't fight her off. By the end of this conversation, she is making flirtatious comments and even refers to me as "loverboy".


    MONDAY OF THIS WEEK
    This week I went out and bought a new acoustic guitar because my practice one that I got as a freebie at the end of high school was a piece of shit, difficult to play and a nightmare to tune. While out, I didn't go out intending to game because I was pressed for time and had an objective to do but I had some encounters and I'm fucking fuming with myself over some of them but more impressed on others.

    Before making this journey out, I recently discovered the importance of high posture and smiling to put out those alpha vibes along with not being the first to break eye contact with anybody. I've had dudes stare me out angrily only to buckle or keep going past me because they wanted to try and chump me out with eye contact. Similarly, I've also had girls stare straight at me with smiles on their face but given that I live in a town where there's a whole bunch of ugly people, I didn't approach a lot.

    ENCOUNTER 1
    HB-7
    This is god awful and the reason I'm posting this is to remind myself never to let this happen again. There's a girl in my town. I don't know who she is and I've never met her but I've seen her about three times this year and all three of them were golden opportunities that I blew by not moving.

    The first time, I notice her while I'm waiting for a late bus home and the first thing that stands out to me is that she's got a fantastic ass (her back is to me). She's pretty tall with synthetic dark hair, and I'm liking what I see. When she turns around I have to blink, because for a second I thought she was a teacher from my college days that I had an enormous crush on only with a hair dye. She eventually sits next to me.

    Then, I see two drunk guys halfway down the street yelling about something and I laugh because I'm easy to amuse. The girl looks up from her phone, then laughs after me but in a "Notice me please" kind of way. I ignore it and twiddle my thumbs.

    The second time, I get on the top deck of the bus and she's there. I sit across, trying to catch her eye but she'll never look directly at me. I catch her licking her lips at one point. This is another great opportunity but I scuff it.

    Then, I forget about her. I haven't seen her for months until out of the blue, there she is, dressed for summer and she looks hotter than ever. I'm salivating at the thought. I sit across from her and we're facing each other on the bus. She's never looking directly at me but to the left of me, so I'm clearly in her peripheral vision. I look out the back of the bus and I catch her staring straight at me, but her eyes sink to the floor when I look back. Clearly, she's aching for it and I plan to speak to her as soon as we both get off the bus but she bails ASAP and I don't see her again. I'm so mad with myself for not saying anything and I promise myself I won't fuck an opportunity like this again.

    ENCOUNTER 2
    HB-4 (Hired Gun)
    While on a recent excursion abroad, I discovered the joy of a popular Taiwanese drink known as "Bubble Tea", a sort of milky drink with edible flavoured bubbles that rest at the bottom. It's kinda' quirky and different but having never tried it before and acquiring a taste, I found a place in my local city that does it and I went to try it out.

    The hired gun I spoke to was exceptionally polite, smiled a dazzling smile but there was something of a language barrier as she clearly wasn't a natural English speaker. We spoke briefly, I told her of my taste for the stuff and got to know her a bit but flirting was kinda' difficult. She ended up having to go though because her boss was giving her looks about her spending too much time talking to me. I could've gone for the number but I didn't find her particularly attractive. Maybe I shouldn't be so fussy.

    After these initial experiences I have decided to retake a newbie challenge and start approaching gung ho rather than going situational. I totally beta'd to fuck with the lady on the bus and I got too fussy with the girl in the café but my progress with the Skype contact gives me hope that with a little bit of savvy in the street I can start turning my luck around and stop screwing up.

    FUTURE GOALS
    -Go out again and complete the "Newbie Assignment" that I'm planning to attempt.
    -Make another FR post that doesn't totally suck. This is a first draft at 2:33, so the next one should hopefully be more enjoyable to read.
    -Get a number from someone.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Congrats on taking the first steps to get better at gaming girls.

    1/ Great choice in picking this site. You will learn A LOT. Just don't try and try to apply it all at once so you get overwhelmed.

    2/ Try to add 1 new thing to your game every week that you learn from the archives on this site. Learn to use the search feature to get the info you need/want.

    3/ Get out in the field and start talking to girls. Any girl, just try to hold a conversation and try to prolong the conversation as long as possible. Develop those conversational skills they will come in handy.

    4/ Rejections should be welcomed. You will learn from them. As you get better these will occur less and less frequently.

    5/ You didn't develop bad habits in a few weeks so don't expect to get rid of those bad habits in a few weeks. The great thing is that a lifetime worth of bad habits can be corrected with good habits in as little as 2 to 6 months depending on how serious you are about the game.

    6/ Don't be afraid to ask for help here. Great group of guys here who are willing to share their knowledge when you get to a sticking point.

    7/ Learning the game PROPERLY will help in every other area of your life as well. Whether it's dealing with family,friends, strangers or the dynamics within your school and work life. You will notice a huge difference.

  3. #3
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    So I have yet to update on this front. I blame my abject poverty but plausibly I could just go out into the nearest town during the day so that's kind of a cop out. In any case, an old debt that I'd basically forgot about is paid to me and I actually have some cash in my pocket so I decided to hit some classic night game and try to tackle some challenges.

    I'm going to start off right now and say straight up before I get into this, nothing happened. I didn't get a threesome. I'm not banging a perfect 9 as I write this. I came home alone. The boundaries I climbed over that I never previously felt possible however are why I'm alone with a smile the size of New Mexico on my face.

    Today starts like any other. I wake up. My friend wants to go for a few drinks in the afternoon. I'm messaging a HB6 with a boyfriend that I met a while ago who occasionally pops up on Facebook to chat. I gamed her. Got her opening up about interests because she's anti-social at best and when it came time to leave, I invited her to join us. The gay friend she brought with him was a pretty big indicator that I wasn't getting anywhere, but it was a start and it allowed me to practice and warm up.

    Eventually after what built up to some light flirting near the end, my friend and I go to the central train station and wait for some other people who agreed to meet me at 11. My friend knows about PUA and about my difficulties with Approach Anxiety and when 11PM rolled around, my friends no-showed meeting me and we had the ominous nightmare of entering the club ahead of me, I could feel what felt like a basketball throbbing in my chest. The idea of having to push out my boundaries nearly brought me to tears, I was so hopelessly terrified. I'd never felt so beta in all my life.

    But we went anyway.

    We get to the club and the friends who bailed on meeting me were already there. Their excuse was woefully inadequate but given that they were being social chodes in a corner on their own, I wasn't about to acknowledge the fact that I'd been dissed so I made chit-chat and teased 'em for bailing but no sold it.

    Time rolls by and the club is starting to get busy. I haven't spoken to anyone I don't know and I can feel the pressure mounting up. My friend that I was with the whole time is encouraging me to approach strangers but it's only building and I start feeling like I'm going to be sick until we go outside for another smoke.

    ... and that's when it all fell into place.

    I promised myself I'd speak to at least four people that night that I'd never spoken to before. I turn around to talk to some people I hadn't seen in years and my wingman is being opened by two incredibly drunk redheads HB5 and HB4, respectively. They're smashed, but without relying on the wingman I introduced myself to them and started speaking to the more sober of the pair. They then went inside when conversation began to dry up not long after.

    Then, we're back inside again and we're standing by the bar. My friend encourages me again but this time he's telling me I should approach someone who's not already speaking to him. I spend ages looking for a target and I feel myself shaking, but in the end I see a girl wandering around on her own looking incredibly bored and lonely and the heat seeker locks in.

    ENCOUNTER 1 - HB3
    I march straight over to her (fuck sprezzatura and the law of least effort), stumble all over my words, "Are you alone?" "Come over and meet some nice people", "You look bored". No game at all but I end up bringing this girl back to me and my friends. Get her name, introduce all my people to her and attempt to make conversation but I'm shaking with nerves. All I intended to do was say hi, but I ended up dragging her back with us even if it was largely involuntarily.

    Eventually her friend turns up, she says bye and disappears into the dance floor. Did I fuck it? Absolutely.

    ---

    But I broke some ground and felt like a king anyway because I wouldn't have even done that previously. I spoke to a few more people afterwards that I didn't know and got my count up to five, past what I was initially hoping for and felt pride fill my veins. I was finally conquering my fear and it felt like nothing I'd felt before. It was the greatest. I felt alive. Even though I was fucking up, I didn't care because I knew I was making progress and sorting through the wheat from the chaff. I was finally heading in the right direction, control of my own life and it felt incredible.

    And that's when my wingman came out with the line that solidifies this night as the night I conquered Approach Anxiety;

    "Well done. Ready to play Hard Mode?"

    "What's Hard Mode?"

    "Walk up to a girl. Tell her she looks really pretty tonight and then walk away."

    In an instant, the pressure was back in my chest. I accepted the challenge without a second thought but the selection process began immediately. Who wouldn't react to it? Who didn't have a boyfriend that would be confrontational? Who wasn't already making out with someone?

    It was getting late and the clock was ticking down. I had forty five minutes. Then half an hour. Then fifteen minutes. Beads of sweat started trickling down my forehead as my friend anxiously checked his phone. I was dead set on a target I found until some other guy swooped in moments before I went to accomplish the challenge and sat with her so I put it out of sight and out of mind. Then, the song changed for the final song of the night and the lights came on.

    It was now or never. Do or die.

    Then, I saw her. HB5. Dark red hair, wearing flowers around her neck and with a white dress, on the dance floor near a barrier by the main stage. I was on the opposite side of the club, up some stairs, near a booth but she was alone and she was the only girl I could see not being pestered by a guy so I made my way straight across, weaved my way through the traffic and came up from behind when I tapped her on the shoulder.

    She turned around. I whispered the magic words in her ear and then as quick as I'd arrived, I was off and leaving the club. I never saw her face react. I never heard her reply. I was off. I booked it out the club as quickly as I could, my legs buckling and spasming from the nerves but I felt immortal. There was no mountain I couldn't conquer. I was King Lunchbox, and Approach Anxiety was my loyal subject.

    When I got outside, I roared to the high heavens, so excited I was and I scared the bejesus out of some girl having a cigarette. It was hilarious. A taxi ride later and now I'm home, writing this update and feeling like a PUA because I muscled up the courage to actually do a few approaches.

    Do I have work to do? Absolutely. Did the approaches themselves blow? Yes. Of course they did. But the fact of the matter remains that despite being scared pissless of rejection, of fucking up my approach, the sheer adrenaline that pumped into me when I came out on the other side was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

    Thanks to the power of a supporting friend, a high epiphany I had the night prior and whatever courage I could scrape, I come home now satisfied with my progress and with a brand new mantra, a new personal oath to myself.

    I am never, EVER going to miss the chance to fuck up again.

  4. #4
    Sleath5's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    I haven't smiled that much in a while reading a post, good for you mate!

  5. #5
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sleath5 View Post
    I haven't smiled that much in a while reading a post, good for you mate!
    I'm willing to bet it wasn't as much as I was when I left that club, but I'm glad you enjoyed my post.

    This is going to get a little bit quiet again but I'm going to make a conscious effort to day game sometime during this week and see what happens.

  6. #6
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    So, went out last night again and with a view to push my comfort zone with talking to strangers. Tonight's objective was to tell five strangers I thought they were beautiful. No more, no less. Now, I was drinking so I'm a little bit hazy on the details but I know I did it and I know there was some good results and some bad ones but my ability to look back and laugh at the bad ones is evident that this battle is over and I am conquering Approach Anxiety.

    Before we get to that though, a few updates-

    HB?
    This situation escalated rapidly. The girl on Skype (who I have voice chatted with but am awaiting picture) has told a friend she likes me who has told me, flirts with me incessantly and is constantly trying to instigate cybersex. This one is a wrapped up, done deal but alas, I'm not looking for online girls. I'm looking for tangible ones that I can throw onto my bed. I'm keeping her sweet for the time being because it's a nice confidence boost but nothing is going to happen.

    HB6-School Days
    Not quite sure how we got back into contact but we started messaging again and given that we haven't properly been in touch since high school it was a good chance to reestablish who I am and change the frames as I was nowhere close to alpha in high school.

    Messaging started as a catch-up, eventually we got onto the topic of her current friend with benefits that she's cut up about because they've just ended it and I stopped the conversation dead in its tracks by telling her calmly that one locked door leads to a myriad of open ones, then changed the subject.

    Then, the framing and the flirtation began. In texts culminating up to last night, I'm now meant to be going to her place during the week and there's no secret what the intentions are but given that she's moving back for uni soon I can be assured that this will be a short but fun use of my time.

    --

    NOW, onto the approaches. Last time, the game was simply to say hi to people. After doing that to five people, my friend told me that the Hard Mode challenge was to tell a person I thought they were beautiful and then walk away. Last night's challenge was to tell five strangers I thought they were beautiful and then book it only to make things harder, my friend who was pushing me wasn't there (and it was me who thought to do this challenge) and my friends were a bunch of social chodes of the extreme.

    We'd been around a few hours to a number of different bars, I caught up with a guy I met off this site and had a chin-wag about strategy and then we went to our main locale for the evening. I started getting clammy and nervous again but the pressure wasn't as bad. It was just a case of finding the right target.

    TARGET 1 - HB 7
    And there she is, a cute as buttons redhead that I caught out the corner of my eye dancing with her female friend. I had to go to the bar, so the logistics were seamless. I tapped her on the shoulder, dropped the magic words "You look beautiful tonight" and vanished into the crowd. I looked back at her to see her surrounded by more girl friends, being the center of the conversation as they all talked to her. Not sure what that means but I caught her eyes sparkling. Might've been worth pursuing but not tonight.

    TARGET 2 - HB5
    This was more like fish in a barrel. The girl was on her own, probably lost her friends and she was trying to mingle with anyone. I scythed through the crowd, tapped her on the shoulder twice then leaned down and whispered the words and left again. She touched my arm as I went but again, this wasn't the purpose. This is where the good approaches end, by the way.

    TARGET 3 - HB3
    This might've not gone so well because I was insincere. She wasn't great but she looked like an easy target who could do with a compliment. I stood in the middle of the dance floor, quietly chewing ice from my cup with my back straight, chest out, quietly observing the floor and noticed myself catching a few eyes. Some were death stares. Others admiration. I found my target again dancing with a girlfriend, told her and then booked it. When I looked back, she was scowling. Oh well.

    TARGET 4 - HB5
    At this point, I knew I was pressed for time but I didn't know how long I had left so I spoke to a chick by the stairs and asked her what time it was. She told me, I realised the time scale, I dropped the pearl of compliments while I was there and got an eye-rolling "Thanks" for my trouble but I was already on my way. I'm chuckling as I write about it.

    TARGET 5 - HB7
    Now you're probably thinking "Boyce/Lunchbox", your approaches weren't that bad. What're you complaining about? Well my last approach saves the best 'til last. This one is a classic. I spotted these two adorable Asians standing by the booths at the side of the club, with a guy sat one seat between them. I was anxious about this one because of the way they were eyeing the crowd but I marched past, then walked around the guy and slipped into the space next to the better looking one.

    I tapped the girl, she started to panic and moved away like she thought I was trying to get past (you could see the terror in her face) but I dropped the pearl and booked it like always only to slip and stumble. Didn't catch her reaction, but I know when I got back to the other side of the venue to rejoin my friends I could see her and her friend talking and they looked very angry.

    At this point, I decided enough was enough, mission accomplished, time to get the bus home so I made my goodbyes and now I've officially conquered approach anxiety. Next time, I'll be talking about my adventures of day game.

  7. #7
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Went out last night. Not a whole lot to report but the progress I'm making is good. Really starting to feel comfortable talking to strangers and making approaches which is key but now it's the conversational hurdle I'm working on and escalating to the next level.

    I had one conversation with a HB7 but she had a kid so let's drop her to a 4 who was really into the conversation and looking at me all misty-eyed but either her friend would take her attention or my friend would start yelling at me over the conversation and generally be quite rude. He did this to me a few times during the evening so I took him aside later and told him it was rude to talk over people when they were having a conversation and I'd appreciate it if he wanted to say something, just to tap me and let me know.

    She went inside with her friend and when I saw her later, she was mobbed with guys trying to get into her and she was getting pretty pissed off by it so because I didn't really have the kind of game necessary to compete like that I left her to it. Probably for the better.

    Anyway, I had a few other meh conversations but then a HB7 came in that I knew from a bar I cover for that I introduced myself to last week. I tapped her on the shoulder, introduced myself to her friend and started a conversation and I tried to get her to the dance floor but I was nervous. I never outright asked and it came across as slightly awkward. We got there and ended up walking straight back. I think she thought she was looking for someone. I hadn't been direct enough and I'm not sure my intention was coming across clearly through my voice.

    In the end, I found her later on and told her that I thought she was cute and wanted to get to know her better so she should add me on Facebook. Lo and behold, I wake up today to a friend request. Next step is to to have a little conversation with her, get to know her, see if I like the cut of her jip and if it goes well invite her out to coffee.

    Rome wasn't build in a day and a PUA didn't hone his craft in an hour but this is my first "gamed" fb close. Insignificant to some, but a powerful step for me and potentially a weapon for awesome if I can make something of it.

  8. #8
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Just got home tonight, safe to say it's the best night I ever had.

    Completely cracked Approach Anxiety to the point where I lost count of how many random direct openers I tried because they flowed freely like the wine. Some girls were stuck-up and snooty when I told them they were adorable, others were VERY receptive (one girl even blew me a kiss).

    The highlight of the night came when my wings decided to bail and go home without actually telling me. I spent half an hour looking for them and ran into one of their girlfriends who had told me they'd all left. Now I didn't particularly want to go home at this point so I carried on as norm, opening people up and dropping compliments but not outstaying my welcome.

    The highlight came when I ran into a girl, HB4 (would be a 7 for her face but she was a little on the heavy side), an out of towner with a hen night.

    I found her throwing odd punches at a machine. I offered to teach her how to throw a punch properly, the details are hazy after that but next thing I know I'm waiting outside for friends and she turns up.

    Now I should've figured this lass was crazy when she refused to let me go anywhere else. She fought tooth and nail to get me to come party with her even though I just wanted to go home at this point. Eventually her friend from the night came over and mentioned something about a fine gentleman (me) walking her back to her place. As it happens, her hotel wasn't far and it seemed an F-close was almost inevitable... Game, set and match.

    I'd like to begin my conclusion to this post that I have decided I am formally giving up night game in favour of day game. I simply don't have the stomach for drunk one night flings.

    We get back to hers, I try to tell her that I need to go because my friends are waiting so we can go in a taxi. She's adamant she wants me to stay but I ultimately decide to go. I call up my friends to discover they figured I was getting laid so they ditched me too. Twice in one night. Great result. I call this girl back and ask if I can call round because I'm now effectively stranded. One thing leads to another and she takes a shower, inviting me to join her but as I'm sat there in the corridor with her unconscious friend on a bed I start getting paranoid.

    This girl is wasted and in me walking her over to the hotel, I've sobered up almost entirely. I'm as sober as a judge now and she's inviting me into the shower. Her clinginess has already given me the motherlode of chills and after she invites me into the shower, I come to the conclusion that I can't in good faith take her up on the offer. I make myself scarce and now I'm home.

    End of the night.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    The best PUA knows how to say no, and uses it. You made the right call. Standards my man

  10. #10
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 512, Level: 10
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 38
    Overall activity: 7.1%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    57
    Points
    512
    Level
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: Lunchbox Is Out To Dine (A Continuous FR)

    Quote Originally Posted by x Mojo x View Post
    The best PUA knows how to say no, and uses it. You made the right call. Standards my man
    Aye, like she was pretty and all but it just felt wrong. This isn't the first time I've turned down a sure fire lay due to external influences but this one seems to have taken it better in stride.

    I woke up to a text just now affirming that I made the correct decision. "Last night was dirt. Feel like I owe you an apology. Thanks for walking me back to the hotel and hats off to you being a total gent."

    Job done, and I've got a funny story to tell the guys when I see them next.


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