Starting From The Deeper Than The Bottom
JUST F'in DO IT! I was F'in suckin' tonight, I'm not gonna lie. It was my first time "trying" to sarge after a year of being dormant in the game. I thought I had enough leverage to start all over, sarge my butt off, and build up that confidence I once had before.
STFU AND DO IT! I could hear Tyler's words screaming through my brain the entire night, a long with a billion theories, strategies, possible outcomes, and doubt - pretty much a bunch of F'in distracting information that I DID NOT apply whatsoever tonight. I felt as if my Approach Anxiety was greater than when I first started out, it was F'in RIDICULOUS! I was out of the mood, out of state no matter how much I tried I could not VIBE with my environment and the people in it. I kept telling myself "STOP BEING AN F'IN POOZY, JUST F'IN DO IT!"
GHOST FROM GIRLFRIENDS' PAST. So I saw this HB9 that I picked up A YEAR AGO (when I was single and at the peak of my game) and she was surprised to see me (I felt excited mixed with a bit of "holy crap a ghost"). I was so excited that I noticed that she had a 'boyfriend' at her table (just getting out of a relationship I related to the boyfriend and didn't try gaming her). She whispered to me that they've only been seeing each other for a month and they're still getting a feel for each other. The conversations after that went stale and I ended up saying more than I should have. She told me she'd hit me up to go out this Saturday night. Before we left:
HB9: Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom, are you gonna be here when I get back?
HB9 gives me a long hug and as she's slowly taking steps away she's grabbing my hand and sliding her hand down my leg. I didn't want to game her in front of her 'boyfriend'. I get up and leave with my brother and we head out to the next club.
ME: Bro I'm tryna get back in the grind, but I feel as if my level now is WORSE than when I started. I can't even get over my F'in aa, its so gotdamn high. F bro I'm stuck in my head.
BRO: Get yourself chatty and have fun with it.
ME: I'm tryna forget all this PickUp bullchit because there's so many "theories", "lectures", strategies and chit I feel overloaded.
BRO: Don't forget to laugh you'll loosen up. Just don't think and open strong with 'hey, what's your name, where you from? Just think and open strong with "hey, what's your name, where are you from?" Do it in succession where
That was a great little text session that I needed.
ADVENTURE! We get there and it's almost empty (maybe 20 people in there) but we sit at a table along the edge of the dancefloor. After a few drinks my other friend comes in (he bartenders at that bar, so he knew a lot of people) and starts buying my brother and I drinks. After an hour or so the club gets PACKED! I was vibing a lot better with this club and I was actually HAVING FUN! I got so caught up in the moment that I totally forgot about picking up girls and I was just having fun with my bros, genuine smiles, excited frame.
LONG TIME NO SEE. So my brother and I go outside of the club to get some fresh air when I make eye contact with this HB8 who looks like she's arguing with her boyfriend. When he leaves, she walks up to me as points out how I look familiar to her.
ME: HEY, long time no see! Were you breaking up with your boyfriend or something?
HB8: NO he's my EX *lol* blahblahblah
ME: OK, good cuz I was starting to get depressed just watchin' you guys talk, it brought tears to my eyes.
We shot the chit for a bit and I ended up leading her behind a pillar, away from her ex's view if he were to walk out of the club. Went for the make-out but she gave me resistance saying "You're not like how you used to be" and "You've changed". He came back out and they started arguing in front of me so I went back to my brother. They moved their conversation closer to me and HB8's exbf ended up going back inside the club. I could feel HB8's eyes on me so when I looked over my shoulder there she was staring at me and then looking back down to her phone. I grabbed her hand and led her around the building out of plain sight and we started making out with lots of kino (it was like the MORE pressure I put on her with my hands and the dominating I was, the more she reciprocated). Her exbf and cousin came outside looking for her and found her, by then she already walked around the building. Some drama started so my brother and I decided to call it a night. As we were walking to the car, HB8 was walking in my direction with her exbf walking in the opposite direction (I saw him watching her walk away for a bit like a chump lol).
ME: HEY! The crosswalk is this way, so you mind as well walk with me!
HB8: *LOL* and keeps walking in the opposite direction towards the other end of the block.
I ended up chatting up this HB9 at the other corner of the light, she was a waitress at an Italian restaurant downtown. We would've kept talking but her ride arrived and she left as we crossed the street together. When I looked back, HB8 was standing at the other corner of the light so I shouted "I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD'VE WALKED WITH ME!"
GOOD GUY CARD. So my brother and I was walking to the car and just as we were about to go in, I look back and see HB8 wandering aimlessly through a parking lot looking for her car, so I gave my brother they keys and ran over to her. Kino-kino and had a real conversation catching up with each other. Her drunk cousin shows up and points us in the direction of her car so HB8 could go find her wallet. On the walk to the car, I stop HB8 a few times and tell her to give me a kiss (1st was a quick kiss, 2nd was a good makeout). We get to the car and I try to get her in the backseat, but she plops onto the front seat, so I go around and as she's sitting in the passenger seat I reach my hand underneath the chair as if I'm looking for the wallet and begin kissing, nibbling, breathing on her inner thigh and slowly making my way up her leg. She pushes me away so I freeze her out for a few seconds and then squat next to her (outside of the car as she's sitting inside the car) and we have another real conversation (building rapport). Just as I was about to go for the kill, her cousin and some guy who I thought was the exbf walk up. I thought for sure they were about to jump me, but instead HB8 gets out and starts yelling at the guy because he had her wallet the whole time, her cousin was too drunk to get back into the club ~ there was a lot of needless drama going on and instead of wasting my time I went back to my car and left.
For me, tonight was an EYE-OPENER. I thought that I had some solid game, but when it came to cold-approaching I had AA skyrocketing through the roof. It took me two clubs to "warm up" and kiss close. I was trying to get the "STFU AND JUST DO IT! YOU'RE GONNNA DO IT ANYWAY!" mentality from the start, but I wasn't vibing with my environment as much at the first place than I was at the second. I have a lot to improve on and I'm gonna ask my PUA family to help TAKE AWAY MY CHOICE TO NOT APPROACH in order to force me into sets and help me get back to the roots. I'm trying to forget all the PickUp material that I know of in order to start fresh (wish my brain had a 'delete all' button for all PUA material).
THanks for reading.
Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~