When you are given sh1t...make fertilizer
The Hard Sale
10pm: I come back to dive bar. A veteran. Regulars recognize me and my posse at the bar. Boy friends clutching there girls a little tighter. Verbally scarred women glare at us in scorn. But I live for the sole and selfish purpose of me. No mercy shall be granted tonight.
I scream at the top of my lungs in a guttural battle cry that refuses to be swallowed by the pounding base. And I begin approaching.
10 30pm: First off when I go out with the sole purpose of closing, I rarely take numbers. It makes me a more blood thirsty and keeps my intentions aligned.
One girl slaps, one rubs her butt on me and another makes out with me. fark you law of averages.
The girl I make out with is super average but is ultimately suffer-able and a surprisingly good kisser. Her lipstick is now all over my lips. To which I pucker up and ask her if I'm pretty. She laughs and says yes. How pretty. Sooooo pretty. I know. She giggles again.
I run with this line for a bit asking girls to call me pretty.
11pm: new wings show up and surprisingly are pretty good. They begin winging me.
12pm: cybershot sees girls escaping the club without finding our attention. Not wanting to leave anyone out we follow. Cybershot opens then up the way. Mind you...it was dark. He instantly grabs the cutie and starts gaming. I grab the friend in a neo-neanderthal fasion and begin making out with her. I'm gaming, more gaming. Yadda yadda yadda. And said girls are now in our car. Mine in the back with me. Cybers up front with him exchanging witty banter.
12 30pm cybershot parks at dennys. Cyber walks ahead of me with his girl knowing my next move. I stop my girl and tell her I lost my earring in the back and she must help me find it....lol.
That's when I notice something. The lamp light shines through the window and my horny haze dissapears and I realize what I see before me is a wilderbeast of a girl. A straight hb5.
[MODERATOR - Deleted the rest of this post. Blatant disrespect to women will get you banned.]