A few weeks back I was sitting outside a bar with a group of about a dozen or so friends. This really hot girl walks past.
I get up to go inside to the toilet. When I come back, this same girl is talking to some of my friends, who are getting her a seat at our table and making some room for her. She had met one of them at a festival we'd all been to the previous week, but I'd never seen her before.
Now, I can't say I fully subscribe to PUA, but I've done a bit of reading around to try and improve my confidence with women and I thought I'd put some of it into practice with this girl.
So, while the guys sitting around her are being all attentive and such, I just pretended I hadn't noticed her.
After a while, the friend that knows her starts going around the table telling her where each person is from. When he gets to me he says, "This guy's from Slovenia." (I'm not, but I live here)
She says something to me in Slovene, and I laugh and say, "I'm not really Slovene." She asks where I'm really from and - I need some time to think about it but - I manage to tell her I'm from England in Slovene.
One thing I'm learning to do better is spot when I've flicked an attraction switch. Being English alone is attractive in this country, but telling her in Slovene made it a double whammy. I could see it in her eyes. She was really curious now.
So I went back to ignoring her (mostly).
I continued being confident and sociable with the bulk of the group and noticed she was looking over at me way, way more and trying to get involved (laughing at things I was saying to other people, asking me where the guy next to me was from etc.).
She kept going to the bakery down the street to get food and all I really said to her for quite a while was "Dober tek!" (bon appetite) a couple of times. It's considered rude not to say that when someone's eating here, but no one else at our end of the table knew that, so I was the only one saying it.
At one point I caught her looking at me while she was eating. I held eye contact for a couple of seconds, then smiled. She smiled back. Eye contact, body language and Kino are big weaknesses for me, so that felt really good. It's amazing how natural it feels when you nail it.
After a while, another festival buddy arrives and I tell her she can keep my seat warm while I go inside to the toilet again. When I get back there's an empty seat next to my target, so I insist that the new arrival doesn't get up, and go sit next to my target, who immediately and excitedly announces, "Oh, you're my neighbour now!"
From this point on, the two of us hardly speaks to anyone else for a long while. I don't have any patterns, routines or tricks, I'm just doing my best to keep her curious about me and to keep her qualifying herself to me as much as possible. I'm playfully making fun of her a lot too, which usually comes natural to me EXCEPT when I'm interested in a girl, when I tend to tone it down out of fear. This time I'm keeping it up and she seems to be loving my company.
I'm trying to escalate kino all the while, but as I say I kinda suck at it. One thing she does that I guess invites some good kino is 'draw' a map on her knee when she's explaining where various places are, so I contribute to the discussion by touching her on the knee a few times. She seemed comfortable with that. That's good, right? I'm so awkward with kino...
Eventually, the bar closes and most of us head across town to another hang-out. The group gradually spreads and separates as the journey progresses, and she ends up paired off with me. I was NOT following her. I think I kinda walked a little ahead of her, turning back to talk to her and it had the effect of naturally drawing her off the rest of the group.
I was doing it because it seemed like the Alpha thing to do, not with any specific aim in mind.
Along the way I'm doing stuff like gently making fun of how much she eats (she's in great shape so there's no risk of her thinking I'm implying she's fat). I remember putting the palm of my hand on her stomach and asking her where it all goes.
She's touching me too, taking particular interest in my hair, which she observes is even longer than hers and so very soft to the touch. At one point, she's kinda half patting and half massaging the back of my head as we walk along side-by-side.
It's going so much better than I'd expected that I'm caught rather off-guard. But I keep my cool.
The road at the place we're going to is really uneven and it'd rained heavily early that day, so there are a couple of big puddles to traverse on our way in. We go separate ways around the first then, when I see the next, I joke that it's too big and she's going to have to carry me across.
Without hesitation she says, "Okay," so instead of telling her I was joking, I go with it. I'm about 180 lbs and she's not that big of a girl, but she gives me a piggyback over the puddle and then some, totalling at least 10 yards.
I'm so impressed I get her to give one of my friends, who's more like 250 lbs, a piggyback too. And she does! Not as far as she took me though.
I didn't know it at the time, but these could be considered compliance tests, right?
I'd been carrying a cup of beer all the way from the other bar, and the second I finished it, she poured half of her beer into my cup. I didn't so much as hint.
At one point I left her alone for a little while, probably to go to the toilet, I think. When I got back, she was standing alone, talking to no one else.
Then she says that she's tired and that we should find somewhere to sit down. I'm thinking, "She wants to Isolate me from the group! Battlestations!" or something stupid like that. But it's busy, there is nowhere to sit.
Eventually though a space clears and we claim it. It's not far from the group though, and not generally very secluded. Still, I haven't failed to notice how well I've been playing so far (she's mirroring my postire exactly, sitting with her legs outstretched like mine, commenting that her legs are nearly as long when they're not), so I feel duty bound to try and kiss her.
And this... is where I fark up.
All I can think is, "Make strong eye contact then lean in slow... make strong eye contact then lean in slow... make strong eye contact then lean in slow..." But I'm so focused on my own eyes that I'm pretty sure what I actually do is lean in with this exact look on my face...
I get that impression because she leans way, way away with that exact look on her face, like she's making fun of me. Or maybe she's still mirroring?
Again though, to my own surprise, I recover well. I give her a look like she's the one being weird and I DON'T act rejected.
However, she pretty soon says she's tired and is going to go home. I ask her where she's staying, she tells me, I tell her I'm going with her. She accepts that.
She actually stays for maybe 20 minutes longer and during that time, as well as the walk back to her grandma's place (where she's staying), I get things back to how they were before the...
...more or less.
When we reach grandma's, I decide against trying to kiss her again and instead say, "You can kiss me if you want," and she kisses me on the cheek. I say, "Don't I get a better one than that?" and she kisses me on the other cheek.
I leave it at that and suggest she give me her number. She says Facebook is easier and writes her full name into my phone so I can find her on it.
Since then, I successfully got her out again. We met up just the two of us, then two female friends of hers joined us and they seemed to really like me (one was asking a lot of questions about whether any of the female students I teach get all because of my accent...). That night ended just the two of us for a short while, but I don't remember any details because I got too drunk. I think it's probably safe to assume that I faltered at the kiss-close once again.
I asked her out again, but her sister (who's a model, by the way) was visiting from Japan then she was going off traveling around Europe for six weeks, which is what she's doing now.
I'm not sure what the point of this other than that I thought writing a field report might be fun, and it was.
Also, if anyone's got any good tips to help prevent me turning into a farking weirdo as soon as I start thinking about kissing a girl, that's be great. I actually just started re-reading The Game and had forgotten that Style had similar problems. There's a tip regarding 'the other 3-second rule' that I'll keep in mind for next time.
Any feedback of any kind at all is also greatly appreciated.