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  • 1 Post By bendenherover
  • 1 Post By SiliconMagician

Thread: Did I fail? Input needed

  1. #1
    spunkybro is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I fail? Input needed

    Hey guys, I need some advice, I have been around for a while and have been working on my online/txt game.. anyways, I found this HB7.5 on POF , actually she seend me a meet me invitation; anyways I proceed to open her and she ended up being pretty cool and easy to talk to. long story short I closed her number the first night and chatted back and forth for a couple days before I told her I was bringing her over to my place to do bla bla bla and she was happy to accept (I built enough rapport and had her on her toes the whole time, it felt seamesly, thats why she got me by surprise). When the day finally came she backed up very alst minute but I was unsure if it was last minute change of mind or a real and sincere excuse. I think I fack it up getting a little pissed but I think I saved it please do comment.

    Here it how it went for the last few txts :
    ME: dont forget the tequila
    HB: lol oh i wont!
    (she then went for diner with ppl from work, and was supposed to com over after)
    HB: hey, so whats the plan?
    ME:the plan is to (what he had agree upon beforehand)
    HB: so i was just thinking do you want to meet at a sports bar instead? I cant be out late as i have sports in early am. (true)
    ME: alright then, lets meet downtown I know of a nice place besides x-place.
    HB: I hate to do this. but its late and i have to be up early in the am. maybe we should just do this another time.
    ME: i sense a little nervousness here. I thought you were straight shooter and I liked that!, another time probably wont happen (I know AFC) I understand tho...
    HB: not nervous just tired. one i ate etc realized its late and my game is at 9. all good if you dont want to do another time.
    ME:go rest girl you got a big come back game tomorrow.. keep in touch
    HB right, ok. night <-- what was that?
    ME: ill check with you tomorrow. you better score/set up some nice plays and make all this worth it
    HB: thats a different tune then again time probably wont happen...
    ME: you will do well. Same tune BTW, txt mesgs dont get the whole message across <-- good save?? input needed
    HB: i will let you know how it goes.
    ME:good luck and rest well, good night.

    I have no idea where i stand now. any input would be great...

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    She tried to tell you she couldn't make it.but you went and tried to change venue.theres a likelihood she may flake.

    best way to handle this to to sarge on whilst trying to improve the skill.you could be talking to her alongside.just don't go for the meetup soon.this girl looked like she had plans already but then..get social.have some more women in your life..

  3. #3
    bendenherover is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    that nervousness txt screwed u. i would just move on u showed a rly bad side it probly turned her interest off for good

  4. #4
    Glub is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    Quote Originally Posted by spunkybro View Post
    ME: dont forget the tequila
    HB: lol oh i wont!
    (she then went for diner with ppl from work, and was supposed to com over after)
    HB: hey, so whats the plan?
    ME:the plan is to (what he had agree upon beforehand)
    HB: so i was just thinking do you want to meet at a sports bar instead? I cant be out late as i have sports in early am. (true)
    ME: alright then, lets meet downtown I know of a nice place besides x-place.
    HB: I hate to do this. but its late and i have to be up early in the am. maybe we should just do this another time.
    ME: i sense a little nervousness here. I thought you were straight shooter and I liked that!, another time probably wont happen (I know AFC) I understand tho...
    Saying you sense nervousness feels really awkward to me here and it is likely she detects that you are bothered by her flaking. You need to be totally cool with her flaking -- after all, you have plenty of other options because you are a super cool alpha male.

    HB: not nervous just tired. one i ate etc realized its late and my game is at 9. all good if you dont want to do another time.
    ME:go rest girl you got a big come back game tomorrow.. keep in touch
    HB right, ok. night <-- what was that?
    Your "keep in touch" here, combined with what you said before, makes it sound like you feel you are losing her and that you afraid of that happening.

    Her curt response might signify her annoyance at this.

    ME: ill check with you tomorrow. you better score/set up some nice plays and make all this worth it
    HB: thats a different tune then again time probably wont happen...
    ME: you will do well. Same tune BTW, txt mesgs dont get the whole message across <-- good save?? input needed
    HB: i will let you know how it goes.
    ME:good luck and rest well, good night.

    I have no idea where i stand now. any input would be great...
    Nope... not a good save. You come off sounding too desperate and try hard. She's trying to put distance between you and you are chasing after her -- which generally doesn't work as well as just turning your back on her and giving her space. Remember, you are more valuable than her, not the other way around. Therefore, it is she who has the privilege of spending time with you, and if she can't make it to the thing you planned, that is a 100% loss for her and a 0% loss for you -- after all, you have so many awesome friends and sexy women you could be spending time with, her flaking doesn't matter much at all, especially since she let you know in advance.

    BTW, don't tell her any of this stuff explicitly -- it should simply be your frame of mind and she will infer it from the things you do and say.

    When she starts making excuses for why she can't go you would have been better off just saying "that's cool. I'll catch you some other time" and then cease contact for a couple days. By trying to drag out the conversation and trying to get her to change her mind and telling her to "stay in touch" you are being rather clingy.

    Your clingyness is likely a result of caring too much about the outcome with this particular girl. You need to go out and get dates with other women and not get hung up on one until you are further along in the relationship.

  5. #5
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    There is only one proper way to deal with a flake. Especially from an online site where if she's flaking on the first, she's probably never going to come at all. One simple word.

    Girl:"I'm sorry to do this too you but I'm having an outbreak of herpes, I can't see you tonight."

    PUA:"Gay"

    That's it. Nothing else. Leave it be. Either she text back eventually with something like "Are you mad at me?" which leaves you in the win, or she doesn't get a hold of you again, and you are in the win because she's a flake. Either way, you win.

  6. #6
    spunkybro is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    I really had a good laugh at the last post LOL. Great input guys, I figured I was on that position right after I finished txt. She resumed txt the next few days, not me BTW. In the end I dated a HB9.5 last night and went great. Have other 4 lined up for this week/weekend. All the info here is golden and I appreciate the comments!

  7. #7
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I fail? Input needed

    Yes you did fail but not something you can't manage. I have noticed when they flake or try to flake they are just testing your resolve to pass their sh!t tests. That's all these are. Anyway let's say for instance my ex-GF texting her the day after I met her about our date.

    ME "Hey we still on for today for that Holiday Festival?"
    HER: "No I don't think I can make it, my daughter's car broke down, blah blah blah."
    ME: "Sure no problem I understand fully I will be heading out either way."
    HER: "Oh wait I guess that could work yeah haha see ya then."

    So it just takes a matter of resolve for handling the flake so you can pass the sh!t test and salvage. Noticed HOW I salvaged? Through a cool, calm demeanor.


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