this is going to be my first so called “field report” just to let you guys know where I am standing. And maybe you have some tips how I can improve the basic stuff … and there is a lot to improve.
I just moved over from Germany so I don’t know many people over here … .
I might start at the very beginning ( conveniently this week ) of my experiences. Last weekend I drove to a bar with my buddies but was too afraid to talk to other girls. So I just talked with my buddies since they also did speak with anyone I did not meet any new people ( except the friends of my roomates). Anyway, the next day I decided I need to go to a party on my own and try to talk to girls. So I went to the bar again but guess what? I drank a coke and did not have the balls to talk to someone.
This really pissed me off since I am usually a person which can talk with any guy(!) about anything, hell I can almost run an entire conversation just on my own but when it comes to me with a girl I am stuck.
Back in Germany I used to be a hobby portrait photographer so I had some HB in front of my camera and then I could talk to them just fine. I think when I don’t put myself under pressure it works just fine.
When I was home on Saturday last week ( and I was home early … ) I did some research and ordered me some books, ‘The Game’, ‘Pickup Artist Secrets’ and ‘Bang’. I thought I might get a good start when I read the books. Till Friday I was done with ‘Pickup Artist Secrets’ but I could not remember much stuff out of it – I still had the lack of a good conversation opener which really freaked me out.
So Friday came I and me and my roommate hit the bar J. There we met with some of the softball buddies of my one roommate. We started a little bit talking and I could talk with them just fine, despite my bad english which is sometimes still obvious ( I’m pretty fluent but I since English is not my mothers tongue it’ll probably some more time ).
After my roommate told his buddies my story and that I am a shy German the objective was set for the evening: The German has to speak to gurls . This week at least one, next week 2 … and so on …
At first I thought they’d be just making fun of me and so I just played along till it came to action … .
I totally blew the first 2-Set …. I just turned around and used a pretty strange opener “Do you know how much an polar bears weigh? …. Well enough to break the ice”. They did not get it … my wingmen jumped in and rescued the situation.
Afterwards we were talking in a growing group with some girls and they did open a set of 3 Brasilians for me … which I approached with another wingmen I actually did some conversation but I felt it to be so ( I don’t know how to describe it … ) awkward I just did not know what to say … , after 10 minutes the set left the place and I went back to the table without a number or so … . Anyway I got back to my group and the 3 Set was looking from the outside into the bar and just looked at me and my group and waited .. my group said they were actually waiting for me to get out and ask for the number, but I did not think so.
Maybe I am wrong but I am really shy in this matter so I did nothing.
Well that was Friday evening.
On Saturday I started reading ‘The Game’ and went out into the mall shopping. While I was in the mall I was talking with a couple of female sales persons ( HB7 & hot Asian 8 ). Actually they asked me if I want their cell# ... .
While I was walking thru the mall several people asked me If I am a model or so … I don’t know why cuz I actually don’t think that I am pretty … well I do look kinda different from most people over here in San Jose. But this model thing is interesting cuz one of my female buddies over here asked me the same question, maybe I have a completely strange self-awareness but that’s some different issue probably.
On Saturday I went out alone again, I thought I need to get some practice. So I went into the bar from Friday and immediately got into a Mixed Set and started talking with the guys (easy ). During the talking the girls of the set started looking and smiling at me but I did not talk with them cuz I was pretty busy with the guys. Maybe I should’ve talked with them too but I just did not know what to say or ask how they are connected.
This set however claimed my accent sounded French … I thought that would be an interesting conversation opener and moved away.
I switched into another club and sadly I noticed that this was a dance club so I tried to talk to some girls but always switched directions just before stepping into the set. Anyway I approached 4 Sets and asked them my accent question … but after that I did not know how to further carry the conversation and the girls apparently made no move to carry the conversation so it died off.
Today I tried day gaming but I again failed after the first couple of lines in the conversation. That just can’t be? I must be able to do some smalltalk with girls?!
Anyway I think I had a breakthrough this weekend that I went out and talked with girls .. so first approach to beat my shyness .
Ok my main questions are now:
How can I start a conversation in clubs, how in malls, daygame in general?
What are other good books and literature?
How can I change the topic of a conversation? I started the day game stuff today with something like "Excuse me, can you show me the directions to the next StarBucks?"
But I’m happy about feedback on the whole situation.
Btw. sorry for so much writing I hope I can keep it shorter the next time.