so this is starting to get a little easier. I have realized something though...I really need to work on my social skills with people in general--not just women. So I went out to a couple of bars tonight to build up familiarity with the venues and practice talking to people. Last year it took so much nerve just to talk to someone in the bar, whether a guy or a woman. Now I at least talk to people, even if they blow me off.
I'm making progress. Before I go to the bar I hear all the excuses in my head about why I shouldn't go. I acknowledge the fear, let it flow through me. Feel the excitement of overcoming it. I can tell my body language sucks, and I know I'm going to replace these clothes with better ones soon, but I go out anyways. I'm going to break through these walls.
I tend to have nice guy syndrome and I really need to practice speaking up and sitting up straight. If all those other people can learn to navigate bars, so can I. It might take a while. I might look goofy for a while, but I'm going to keep approaching people and doing it wrong until I know too much to do it wrong anymore.
so there. I made conversation with a few guys, attempting convo with a few girls. felt really inept but was glad I went. Going to continue until things start to click more. this is me posting to stay accountable.