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  • 3 Post By luciddreamer

Thread: meet and greet, next steps

  1. #1
    luciddreamer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default meet and greet, next steps

    went out again tonight to a couple of bars. I am so not used to emoting. My usual way of greeting people is cold and no-one feels welcome by it. I'm learning to raise my eyebrows a bit, smile really big, and say something like "it's good to see you" without holding anything back.
    I learned that when I walk around at work or wherever, my "hey how's it going" mumble was mostly getting ignored. when I smile, make eye contact, and project, THEN I'm acknowledged, usually by a friendly smile and eye contact back.

    I'm getting schooled on some shit at the bars and it sucks. when I touch women I'm very hesitant...I feel like I'm going to offend them by touching them, or like they're going to slap the shit out of me or something. if I'm confident and charming, they'll LIKE for me to touch them.

    this is like lifting weights or anything else...at first it sucks really bad... nothing makes sense. I'm hoping that by going out at least 2-3 times a week that things start to come together. I've been awkward for so long it's hard to believe I'll get any better at it, even though I already am.

    I think I'm going to get a video camera and record myself saying and doing things that I normally say and do in a group. I need to work on projecting my voice, storytelling skills, Kino....and most of all RELAXING. if I'm tense, none of this other stuff will seem natural or work.

    so yeah...I'm getting the theory in my head. it's just teaching my body to do all this.

    Thanks for reading!

  2. #2
    Dizzie's Avatar
    Dizzie is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: meet and greet, next steps

    You have the perfect attitude man. A lot of guys tend to overlook their core issues and focus 10 steps ahead of the problem. The majority of the guys getting into the community are generally just socially awkward and need to learn to overcome basic social anxiety before even thinking about other things.

    I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. I was a bit of a loner in high school so by the time I started university I was very socially behind and indeed very awkward. I was pretty much afraid of women. So then I stumbled across some resources from the community and decided I was going to take a baby step approach to overcoming my social awkwardness. It started with something as simple as saying "hi" to everyone that walked within 10 ft of me everywhere I went. To my surprise, the majority of people would just say "hello" right back. I then worked meticulously on my eye contact, body language and vocal projection. Once I had that down, I decided I was going to start conversations with 10 new people everyday. At first they were really painful and awkward but I plowed through them anyways. When ever I would stall and not know what to say, I would write it down and brainstorm what I should of said later. If there was subject matter in the conversation I knew nothing about, I would make a note of it and read up on it a later as well. It makes conversation a lot easier to know a little bit about everything. Eventually after several months of this I noticed socializing was much more effortless and I turned my attention to meeting women.

    I went out 3-4 nights a week to the bar and would talk to 10-15 women on average each of those nights. Initially I would get blown out but then as my game improved I would start getting numbers, learn how to limit flakes, set up day twos, get same night lays,...etc. It was a gradual progression over the course of a couple years. I got to the point where picking up was easy but then keeping them around in my life afterwards was hard. I had to go back to the drawing board again and work on making my identity and lifestyle more attractive so that women wanted to be a part of my life. Now I use less game then ever.

    My point is, if you want it bad enough and are willing to put the time and effort to fixing this area of you life, it is very doable. You just need to keep setting realistic/gradual goals and not get too complacent and lazy. Laziness and excuses are self improvement killers. Unfortunately, we are not naturals so that means we have to work harder to improve ourselves in this area. Trust me, keep going out and you'll get better!

  3. #3
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
    NoctisCaelumPUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: meet and greet, next steps

    Pick up is not for everyone. Ever see those day game pick up videos? They are a joke the guys saying the same thing over and over to 10 girls in a venue. It gets old for them as well. I never use the same opener over and over all the time in a venue is the first thing. The second thing is Pick Up is about becoming intelligent social creatures. I mean we are talking about approaching a bunch of strangers! That can be rather nerve wrecking which is why many people just don't do it and stay in the safe zone. I have witnessed first hand self-destruction due to a girl I was working on being totally nice as I opened her indirect on talking about the bathroom and said we would talk later then totally shut me out when a random buff guy came and saved the day and hovered (lingerer/no game) like a moron but maybe she thought he was a genius either way the energy shifted and it was like I was trying to rob her from Prince Charming. But because he was buff when I tried to AMOG him and approach her in the mixed set she acted like a total ice cold female and shut me out like she was super pissed for me talking to her like she played dumb and said she didn't know me! It was a weak save I admit and due to lack of confidence I lost the target.

    Sh!t will always be awkward get used to it. You have to make that awkwardness work for you and if you own it you might get hot. Until you hit a hot streak, get hot, get on a roll that is then you will just be in the zone. You can play it in the Safe Zone or Sarge, Plow, and Approach until you get in "the zone" which will get you in comfort again. Sometimes you will have a bust night or strait up get rejected hard and can't get it back together the entire night. Some rejections just ain't worth it so you gotta move on. Other rejections when they lack conviction you can work it later in the night or on a re-open. Girls actively push guys away as self-defense and breaking down those barriers is about plowing through. My sticking point is stores. I hate opening in freaking stores man. I can open the whole room in a bar or club but in stores I get stuck big time. One of my areas of improvement rather. But the Game is very dynamic this is why every opener needs to be properly calibrated as some openers like Gung Ho work great at night game and low-balling works great in the stores. Random is the meaning of perfection as the goal is to be a man of mystery the more you can calibrate randomness not into weirdness the better off you will be. Indifference is the caricature of success and if you can learn to role play and do role play shifts based on the interaction you can be a real Don Juan. Like playing Nice guy, bad boy, prick, sensitive prick, shy, bold, needy at different times these frames work wonders but at bad timing a nice guy will be shafted as a schmuck or worse an A-hole. It's far better to be shafted as an A-hole when you are role-playing but when you are a Needy Nice Guy and get shafted like that it causes you to self-destruct. Lots to do and lots to see next year. Best to follow me next Summer and see what I come up with for more.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.


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