Hey bitches. Its been awile. I know. I'm lazy. I'm working on it. Anyways I just left texas and came back to my homeland of california and planning to do some damage.
With that being said i've had lots of adventures since last posting and since my last one was obnoxiously long, i'm going to keep it short and adventure
9pm Me, harryrat, cybershot and mr. smith(basically a neanderthal in body and mind. Devoid of fear and has no subjectice reality other than his own. He's farking awesome)come out to sanfran for game. But we came down on wednesday and it is baren. So like ravenous wolves we attack any females on sight. Bellowing and charging them like bafoons. Personally surprised nobody called the cops.
10pm We sneak into a high end ritzy hotel. I personally start gaming a drunk heiress. Don't judge me.
Long story short I tried to pull her failed then we tried stealing a gingerbread house in the lobby. We were promptly shown out by security....FARK DA POLICE
12pm Harryrat and cybershot have found some tiny japanese girls and start eating there faces. Me and smith stand off to the side incase an emergency wing is needed. That moment came sooner than expected.
Out of farking nowhere came a bumb. And this wasn't any bumb. This bumb was a cockblock of cockblocks. He stepped to kirat and the girl while they were making out and started waiving his hand wildly between their faces while they were lock lips. Kirat being a good player ignored this.
But I was needed. The bat signal was in plain view against the murky sky. My boy needed a wing. I approached the bumb from behind. Hey nice backpack i say. I have one like it. Tbh it was a piece of shit. But anything to distract his drug addled mind would be good.
He turned around to stare at me wild eyed. Yeah thats right look at the shiny object. He looked me up and down and said wanna buy it. i only got out a whaa- before he threw himself whole heartedly into his sales pitch. FARK THIS!! I left the bumb standing there and just walked away believing that it would be too awkward to reingage harryrat and his girl. I have no idea why I thought he'd care for social norms. The farker turned right back around and continued waving his hand in there face. fuuuuuuuu-
12:30pm We spent the better part of this time distracting the bumb. We debated the believe that you are in control of your life and you choose whether or not you become a gross bumb.
We threw out accusary comment.
He countered with bullshit.
We tried reason.
He only wanted beer.
As we were arguing a girl walked directly behind the bumb staring me down with the i want to fark you look.
It took me a second to chase her down. When I caught up to her she was up against a wall taking a drag on her cig. I stood directly in front of her holding her sexual gaze and then said I'm farking rooster. I'm farking katy. With that I grabbed her by the back of the head and began making out with her. It became heated pretty quickly and soon i'm cupping a breast and rubbing her off.
As this is going on a group of chodes passes by and says the oh so clever GET A ROOM. I didn't even take my lips off her to give them my response. My middle finger. Not to long after like clockwork a dikey looking woman walks right up.
How old are you. she asks the girl.
I respond I'm 12, She's 9. I'm a kindergarden pimp. My girl laughs and i just stare the lady down.
If there is one thing I hate. Its a white knight in any form. I didn't like her.
My girl finally responds, I'm 19.
The dike looks at me and back at the girl. Well....Ok just get home safe...
She walks off defeated. Get the hell out of here I'm the boss. You don't step to me like that. I'll take on all the cockblocks in the city to close this one.
Thats when I started checking my girl for logistics. She told me she was staying in a hotel with her friend. i asked her if i could come up she said no.
With that i set my mind a whirl trying to figure a solution.
I pick her up. Whaaa...what are you doing she squeals. I say "look you have two choices. We can either fark in the mcdonalds b-room or the jack'n'the box." I look around for a second and see a cafe and point and say "or there." She looks at the cafe and says ok. So i carry her across the street to the cafe like a victorian hero who just slayed the dragon and saved the damsel. Goddamn i'm awesome.
I enter the cafe. A timid waitor walks over to me. Can i get you a table. yes. He takes us to the table nearest the door and without sitting i ask him where the bathroom is. He points at a staircase that leads down to a basement. I grab her hand and walk past the startled waitor who stared for a second baffled. fark him, I'm closing bitches. We get to the bottom to find a unisex bathroom perfect. I kick in the door and carry her in.
All in all the sex was fantastic. I don't know if it was the sexual Tension or the risk of getting caught, but my d1cks never been so happy.
2pm I find my friends. They all bow to my glory and kiss my feet. lol. again. I wish.
Anyways. The girl has invited me over to her hometown for her birthday. Birthday sex. birthday sex. Haha, anyways I'm going out tonight. PEACE!!!