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Thread: status update

  1. #1
    luciddreamer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default status update

    so I've been falling back on crutches the last week socially. but I am starting to realize something -- my previous body language/tonality/etc DOES NOT WORK WELL. I've been trying different things with mixed results. Becoming more animated seems to be the key...My old postures/tonality/etc are just HABITS. I can change them. It seemed impossible at first, but it is happening. and I can feel when I'm really putting effort into changing vs. when I'm just going through the motions.

    In the past, when someone misinterpreted something I tried to communicate, I would just get mad that they didn't get it and I would keep butting my head against the wall trying to communicate things the same way again and again. Sometimes when I think I'm being funny, it's actually more like an angry/dry sarcastic that comes across as irritated.

    I've committed myself to going out to a social event at least 2-3 times a week. I'm updating my wardrobe to clothes I feel confident in, and I'm looking to change my haircut. This is a hard one...I'm trying to find pictures for my barber to use, but so far haven't found anything I like...I'm also experimenting with different hair products to get the effects I want.

    so I'm going to start videoing myself this week. I'm devoting 3 hours of this week to videoing myself practicing certain social interactions so I can hopefully see where my sticking points are. and I have a friend who can help me review them and work on practicing new ones in front of someone.

    Thanks for reading! Encouragement, tips, etc. are all welcome!

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: status update

    Honestly all you need to do is practice posture and body language when you can. When you're walking and you realize that your head is coming down, quickly put your head high, fix your shoulders and put your chest up. It has to be a second nature and you can learn to do automatically( I practice a lot and watch a lot of body language videos). Secondly you need to talk slower. When you talk slow And take your time people want to know more. That's really all you need to do. Practice talking slower and don't be afraid to pause and body language.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

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