so I've been falling back on crutches the last week socially. but I am starting to realize something -- my previous body language/tonality/etc DOES NOT WORK WELL. I've been trying different things with mixed results. Becoming more animated seems to be the key...My old postures/tonality/etc are just HABITS. I can change them. It seemed impossible at first, but it is happening. and I can feel when I'm really putting effort into changing vs. when I'm just going through the motions.
In the past, when someone misinterpreted something I tried to communicate, I would just get mad that they didn't get it and I would keep butting my head against the wall trying to communicate things the same way again and again. Sometimes when I think I'm being funny, it's actually more like an angry/dry sarcastic that comes across as irritated.
I've committed myself to going out to a social event at least 2-3 times a week. I'm updating my wardrobe to clothes I feel confident in, and I'm looking to change my haircut. This is a hard one...I'm trying to find pictures for my barber to use, but so far haven't found anything I like...I'm also experimenting with different hair products to get the effects I want.
so I'm going to start videoing myself this week. I'm devoting 3 hours of this week to videoing myself practicing certain social interactions so I can hopefully see where my sticking points are. and I have a friend who can help me review them and work on practicing new ones in front of someone.
Thanks for reading! Encouragement, tips, etc. are all welcome!