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  1. #1
    lez999 Guest

    Default Need URGENT advice

    So basically I've been gaming a friend of mine (known her for two years). I did it well (I think). We hooked up a couple of weeks ago for the first time. I had some issues and told her I didn't think I could be in a relationship with her even though I liked her a lot. She liked me as well. I was flying home the next day and we then spoke everyday for the past two weeks via skype. I have been debating with myself what I want with her but it has been getting more romantically intense between us and we decided we would see what would happen when I got back.

    Then on Wednesday she told me she was going to Italy for New Years Eve. I knew her ex boyfriend is Italian but I asked her who she was going with and she said just some friends to a house party at a friend of hers in Pisa. I then happened to be speaking to her flat mate (who I never speak to but thought I would wish her Happy New Year) and I asked how come she didn't go to Italy. She told me she couldn't bear the htought of spending it with my girl's ex. I was like, oh, huh, she forget to mention that part about her going to see him... So the flat mate was like but she told me she told you! and (apparently) I had said I was cool with it.

    Why would she lie to me? Why would she lie to her best friend as well?

    Most importantly, how do I act now and should I call her out on it?

  2. #2
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    You sure you don't want a relationship?

  3. #3
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    There is a possibility that the friend is lying and wants you for herself. But the more important thing is this... what do you want from the girl? I mean, man, what are your plans? Till you answer that one, you have no real right to feel hurt or offended or even bewildered about her lies and deceit.

  4. #4
    lez999 Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Typhoon View Post
    There is a possibility that the friend is lying and wants you for herself. But the more important thing is this... what do you want from the girl? I mean, man, what are your plans? Till you answer that one, you have no real right to feel hurt or offended or even bewildered about her lies and deceit.
    I don't know what my plans are. I wanted to have a relationship with her but it ain't that simple (religious issues). Point being I ain't mad that she slept with someone else, I'm mad she lied to me about it.

    By the way, we are saying she definitely slept with him right?

  5. #5
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    On one hand, she might just have really wanted to go to Italy and lied to you because she wants to keep you. Or she may have wanted to see the ex to see who she really has feelings for.

    On the other hand, who goes to Italy and not want to fark?

    But still, she may have lied and should suffer the consequences of that lie, but as far as I know, she doesn't exactly owe you the truth either. Not yet anyway.

    When she gets back, give her a chance to come clean. I'd even go as far as say, "And how was your ex? You stayed with him right?" real casually. If she doesn't explain herself, then she isn't worth my time, and she obviously doesn't think am worth the truth either. So there's my answer without painful confrontation and gnashing of teeth.

  6. #6
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    Will she fuck him? Who knows, I am visiting Italy soon, she may fuck me (I think she's my type..). Did she lie, who cares, if she did lie, it was to her friend, not you.

    Shes not your girlfriend, so let her do what she wants , it's not your place to control her, or question her with what she does on her own time.

  7. #7
    culturedpearls Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    Alas. I've been told that women lie because they don't think a guy can handle the truth. And that men lie because it's just more fun that way.

    So here she is, thinking you can't handle the truth that attraction exists between her and someone else (or at least, some history)... and here you are, not liking it that she was gaming you while you thought you were gaming her. So save yourself the hassle dude and just move on.

  8. #8
    smoothcriminal Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    Quote Originally Posted by lez999 View Post
    So basically I've been gaming a friend of mine (known her for two years). I did it well (I think). We hooked up a couple of weeks ago for the first time. I had some issues and told her I didn't think I could be in a relationship with her even though I liked her a lot. She liked me as well. I was flying home the next day and we then spoke everyday for the past two weeks via skype. I have been debating with myself what I want with her but it has been getting more romantically intense between us and we decided we would see what would happen when I got back.

    Then on Wednesday she told me she was going to Italy for New Years Eve. I knew her ex boyfriend is Italian but I asked her who she was going with and she said just some friends to a house party at a friend of hers in Pisa. I then happened to be speaking to her flat mate (who I never speak to but thought I would wish her Happy New Year) and I asked how come she didn't go to Italy. She told me she couldn't bear the htought of spending it with my girl's ex. I was like, oh, huh, she forget to mention that part about her going to see him... So the flat mate was like but she told me she told you! and (apparently) I had said I was cool with it.

    Why would she lie to me? Why would she lie to her best friend as well?

    Most importantly, how do I act now and should I call her out on it?

    I've been to that similar situation bro. Maybe she doesn't want to complicate things. She may have feelings for her ex that are yet to disappear. It may be a bad break up for her. As I can see from your text, she has feeling for you too. She want to get over with her ex before she can manage herself with you.

  9. #9
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Need URGENT advice

    That's the b!tch of it, isn't it? Men can be horny for many girls and girls can have feelings for many guys. Haha.

    Just joshing, you guys. Anyway, clear your perspective by going out with other girls in the meantime, dude. Cross the bridge when you get there and not any minute before.


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