Night Game : My Glaring Weakness
Sup playboys? My apologies if this is convoluted, it is almost 4am and I just want to post this as it is fresh in my mind.
So tonight I went to a multicultural sponsored party at my college (It was in a University building so no alcohol) and this is what ensued...
I started off the night with some nerves. To be honest the friends I was with were pretty AFC but they were willing to back me in any set I dared to open. Early on the party was EXTREMELY empty so I did not do much plus I was battling some nighttime aa.
Anyways, I see 3 girls dancing before the party was packed so I approached them and said, "You guys are the only one dancing and having fun" to which they responded positively. My vibe was on but I did not follow up strong. On to the next one...
I approach another girl to release some AA and she flat out isn't willing to talk at all. I laugh it off and go about my day. Time flies by and I still have done nothing significant.
Now here's why I was hesitating so much. I can't dance. These were some big booty black girls with some flavor. I can approach confidently but I can not get them to dance with me because I have two left feet.
Here was the high and low point of my night
I get back on my grind and decide to help my friend out and try to get some dances with some girls. We see a group of about 5 girls. At this point I had wimped out about 10 times on this same set but this time I just didn't care.
My friend gives me the nod and I approach. The girls are dancing amongst themselves and I stroll over and tap one of the girls and say,
"I can't dance, but I'm willing to embarrass myself right now, lets go!"
I hold my hand out and the girl complies.The girl is smiling and was pleasantly amused by my open. Now here's where things go wrong:
I can't dance. I am not a real big grinder but I was willing to try. I twirl the girl around and she really doesn't move. She tells me to lead. In my head I am thinking "Girl if you don't just pop yo booty on me while I stand still we gonna' have a problem!"
I say something to her but I don't remember what. I think I tease her about being scared to dance by saying, "excuses are like A**holes." Whatever I said was pretty smooth though ( I mean that in the most humble way possible :P). The whole time we are talking we are holding both of each others hands. Every time I go to speak I pull her in and we are close. She had some kind of accent and my goodness was that a pleasant surprise.
We acknowledge the dancing isn't really going anywhere, she says that our dancing is "awkward" but says it in a playful tone as we continue to fluff talk. I wrap things up by telling her we will try again and a few minutes.
Before I can leave she asks me what my name is and I tell her and she tells me hers. I then leave. I don't try to Number Close or anything and before I can go back to reinitiate I see her leave. It's whatevs. No, actually I was playfully upset with myself. I had a pretty good thing going and I let it slip away through non confidence in my abilities.
I do a good job of putting the girl and I in our own little world.
My technique of holding my hand out as I say something and having the girl grab my hands as we talk is something I subconsciously do now.
Conversation wise I can talk to a girl no problem. I can tell when a girl is interested and this girl and I definitely were vibing. I was not assertive enough though and did not lead as much as I should have.
It's the stupid dancing that kills me. My confidence waivers because I am not confident in my dance moves. I try to let loose but I can not help but feel awkward in my movements. I probably should have grab the girl by the hips and led the dancing interaction. I am still pretty novice when it comes to dancing and night game.
I had this girl in the bag. She was interested but I beat myself. I need tips on how to handle dancing situations better.
This is extremely weird for me to write right now but I have to post this. I have a bit of rhythm but I am just not sure of my actions. I should have put my hands on the girls hips and went from there. Hindsight is always 20/20 -__-
I'm thinking next time I fully own the fact that I am not the best dancer and just use it to my advantage. Turn the whole situation into a joke to get the girl laughing. Then I can transition into more conversation and kino that way. I let the whole "dancing" part get to me and it throws me off my game. We were clicking so well, I should have been more playful and embraced the "awkwardness" of my dancing. I can't let the dancing part get in the way of things. It is not a viable excuse.
Moral of the story, embrace the uncomfortable. Every lost opportunity is a learning experience. There will be plenty more chances and I will not repeat the same mistakes. It has been a while since I cold approached girls so this was extremely fun. Something about chatting it up with a random girl is so addicting. I always surprise myself with my own abilities but I have yet to have that one memorable pick up. Still though I enjoyed myself and want to strive to get better.
Stop Thinking,Start Living!