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  • 1 Post By Bballking
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Thread: Night Game : My Glaring Weakness

  1. #1
    Othello the Great's Avatar
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    Default Night Game : My Glaring Weakness

    Sup playboys? My apologies if this is convoluted, it is almost 4am and I just want to post this as it is fresh in my mind.


    So tonight I went to a multicultural sponsored party at my college (It was in a University building so no alcohol) and this is what ensued...


    I started off the night with some nerves. To be honest the friends I was with were pretty AFC but they were willing to back me in any set I dared to open. Early on the party was EXTREMELY empty so I did not do much plus I was battling some nighttime aa.

    Anyways, I see 3 girls dancing before the party was packed so I approached them and said, "You guys are the only one dancing and having fun" to which they responded positively. My vibe was on but I did not follow up strong. On to the next one...

    I approach another girl to release some AA and she flat out isn't willing to talk at all. I laugh it off and go about my day. Time flies by and I still have done nothing significant.

    Now here's why I was hesitating so much. I can't dance. These were some big booty black girls with some flavor. I can approach confidently but I can not get them to dance with me because I have two left feet.

    Here was the high and low point of my night

    I get back on my grind and decide to help my friend out and try to get some dances with some girls. We see a group of about 5 girls. At this point I had wimped out about 10 times on this same set but this time I just didn't care.

    My friend gives me the nod and I approach. The girls are dancing amongst themselves and I stroll over and tap one of the girls and say,
    "I can't dance, but I'm willing to embarrass myself right now, lets go!"
    I hold my hand out and the girl complies.The girl is smiling and was pleasantly amused by my open. Now here's where things go wrong:

    I can't dance. I am not a real big grinder but I was willing to try. I twirl the girl around and she really doesn't move. She tells me to lead. In my head I am thinking "Girl if you don't just pop yo booty on me while I stand still we gonna' have a problem!"

    I say something to her but I don't remember what. I think I tease her about being scared to dance by saying, "excuses are like A**holes." Whatever I said was pretty smooth though ( I mean that in the most humble way possible :P). The whole time we are talking we are holding both of each others hands. Every time I go to speak I pull her in and we are close. She had some kind of accent and my goodness was that a pleasant surprise.

    We acknowledge the dancing isn't really going anywhere, she says that our dancing is "awkward" but says it in a playful tone as we continue to fluff talk. I wrap things up by telling her we will try again and a few minutes.

    Before I can leave she asks me what my name is and I tell her and she tells me hers. I then leave. I don't try to Number Close or anything and before I can go back to reinitiate I see her leave. It's whatevs. No, actually I was playfully upset with myself. I had a pretty good thing going and I let it slip away through non confidence in my abilities.

    Synopsis

    I do a good job of putting the girl and I in our own little world.

    My technique of holding my hand out as I say something and having the girl grab my hands as we talk is something I subconsciously do now.

    Conversation wise I can talk to a girl no problem. I can tell when a girl is interested and this girl and I definitely were vibing. I was not assertive enough though and did not lead as much as I should have.

    It's the stupid dancing that kills me. My confidence waivers because I am not confident in my dance moves. I try to let loose but I can not help but feel awkward in my movements. I probably should have grab the girl by the hips and led the dancing interaction. I am still pretty novice when it comes to dancing and night game.

    I had this girl in the bag. She was interested but I beat myself. I need tips on how to handle dancing situations better.

    This is extremely weird for me to write right now but I have to post this. I have a bit of rhythm but I am just not sure of my actions. I should have put my hands on the girls hips and went from there. Hindsight is always 20/20 -__-

    I'm thinking next time I fully own the fact that I am not the best dancer and just use it to my advantage. Turn the whole situation into a joke to get the girl laughing. Then I can transition into more conversation and kino that way. I let the whole "dancing" part get to me and it throws me off my game. We were clicking so well, I should have been more playful and embraced the "awkwardness" of my dancing. I can't let the dancing part get in the way of things. It is not a viable excuse.

    Moral of the story, embrace the uncomfortable. Every lost opportunity is a learning experience. There will be plenty more chances and I will not repeat the same mistakes. It has been a while since I cold approached girls so this was extremely fun. Something about chatting it up with a random girl is so addicting. I always surprise myself with my own abilities but I have yet to have that one memorable pick up. Still though I enjoyed myself and want to strive to get better.

    Stay sexy,

    Othello
    Stop Thinking,Start Living!

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Night Game : My Glaring Weakness

    attraction, dancing and intimacy especially on the dancefloor is all about getting close for that physical connection or else you're just dancing by yourself. if you haven't gotten her eyes locked to yours, put out your hand so she knows you're leading her. then you can pull her close and dance face to face. if you've got attraction and feel like she's and adventurous person then get close and put yourself in her space. if she pulls back just make sure everythings cool and keep a smile on your face.

    if you need more insight maybe consider a dance class.

  3. #3
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Night Game : My Glaring Weakness

    Stop beating yourself about the dancing thing man... there's no way she was going home with you after the a**holes line ... totally kidding.

    To me, this entire thing said "I need to work on my dancing. I don't dance well, so I have to practice dancing. I have two left feet, so I need to find some dancing classes. My confidence in this situation really tied into my dancing skills, I should learn how to dance better. I'm going to fix this, and learn how to dance."

    I'm sorry to say, but you weren't going to get the girl. Your dancing didn't kill it, your lines didn't kill it, your inability to embrace the uncomfortable (which is less an inability and more of a choice) didn't kill it. Nothing clicked, and that's going to happen, A LOT. But by god if you don't miss 4 3 pointers in row, your sure as sh1t going to hit that 5th one.

    Seriously, this night worked out so much better for you than you think. You hate that you can't dance. WORK ON IT! Look up those dougie, and wobble tutorial vidoes online if you must, and just do that sh1t in your room. Other songs along those lines too, or find some dance classes. You'd probably be surprised how learning to tango can make you better at the cupid shuffle. Also, your weak at laughing at yourself. Such an easy fix! Everybody farks up so many times in a day, whether you piss on the toilet rim, or blow a stop sign, it's what you do with those screw ups that matter. Laugh! So trivial, possibly corny, but laugh at them. Take it too far at first and do it for weeks. Laugh at every little stupid thing that happens, make quips about them, and jokes, than as you feel comfortable, tone it down. Laugh at the significant things, and viola! perception changed.

    Perfect learning night for ya bro.

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Night Game : My Glaring Weakness

    the more i think about it just getting her to dance with you is the hardest part. props to that.

    if the girl isn't into this kind of contact just make sure you don't do any flailing of the arms--try not to dance with an open mouth or wide eyes. make a face that is similar to when you're about to kiss a girl. you can play it safe by just doing a slight exaggeration of a head bob that effects your entire body's weight distribution. time it with the bass. most people naturally do this when they're in the car listening to a song they really like. this is my normal dancing routine--if i'm looking to goof off i'll just do random stuff that gets a girls attention. it doesn't mean its attractive but it'll get some girls laughing and enjoying my free show. making a fool of yourself can be a strong display of confidence... i'm sure you could use your game to quickly phase from confident Peacock dancing to introducing yourself to the girl and then tell her you only know 1 dance and that's the grind... most girls don't care about your dance moves as long as you can entertain them. my input is to learn to grind and get used to getting in their personal space. i think you can use this to your advantage to get a lot of Kino. the girl will follow your pace if you keep rhythm. i think you can escalate more in dancing if you slow down--they'll feel the Tension building the closer, slower and more eye contact you have with that smile on your face. treat it like dry humping face to face. hahaha.

    basically... look like a fool to get her attention, then open with convincing her you can dance--and it's one that's a lot of kino is my suggestion hahaha.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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