No prelude. Just story. LES GET IT ONNNN
CHICO CHI CHI's
7-10: Usually i'd talk up this place called chico. Usually I'd say chico is a city over run by drunk sluts. The only thing that kept the farkin place together was men with badges and patons. My friends harryrat, torrey and my brother goose accompanied me to this place of bountiful pussy. With the promise we would not leave this place till our d1cks had been wetted and our loins emptied. I was glad to not have the stretching capabilities to put my foot in my mouth.
It was the quintessential ghost town. People wandered the streets here and there but i would have been better off staying home and wrestling the dragon, but i came all the way out here might as well make the most of it.
This entire point of the night was filled with us finding alchohol and drinking the alcohol and hitting up girls that happened upon our path.
11: By this time we had found a couple parties and we are pissed off. Already we were accusted by large groups of angry men when we were spitting game. None to happy with us talking to their women.
At one point my buddy was successfully charming some unassuming freshmen when out of no where a large man of african descent accosted my friend grabbing him by the back of the neck. I stepped up to him and tried reasoning with the brute. Till he pulled a gun on us!
Thats right, A FARKING GUN. Black metalic and turned sideways like those kids like to hold it now adays.
So by this time I was annoyed by the massive chodiness
of the population. So as is my style i began taking it out on every single group that happened upon us. I scream through a traffic cone(my new favorite toy) using it as a make shift megaphone.
I begin to scream at pedestrians, they shy away from my might. I now contain within me the voice of god and i must preach the comandments
We go back to the party we had previously been attacked in.
I get into the mists of the party and begin screaming random obscenitys. "I'm not pointing fingers but if you have a gun. not implying anyone does or doesnt. but having a gun doesnt add inches to your d1ck." I yell racial slurs, sexist slurs and tell everyone my d1ck is small like a tictac. No one takes the bate, no one tries to fight me. So i reason if no one is willing to take me on...than im potentially invincible.
I walk through the crowd. Being both myself and the crowd. Using my body and mouth i begin to mold The Vibe of the crowd.
MIDNIGHT: By this time i'm the party's unofficial god. people are high fiving me. One girl runs through the crowd up to me and asks me to dance. I look her up and down. I give her a gesture she to tell her to twirl so i can get a good look at her physique and see if she's matable. she does. I ponder for a second before lifting my glorious cone to my mouth and scream,"You are but a peasant. BE GONE!" all the while giving her the shewing gesture. Stunned and rejected she scurries away from me.
All my friends were macking. I couldn't be prouder in my troops.
1am: Me and torrey were walking out to check out the bitches in the front lawn. Instantly some girl grabs torrey. We start gaming a four set. farking perfect. Soon harryrat and hunter show up and we're all paired up. My set is going beautifully. My girl was a lithe blonde girl, very bouncy and giggly. I loved it. I quickly find her to be the type of girl that likes guys who are aloof and role playing. I tell her to fark off, her and our children. Actually I want timmy at least he's not an asshole like you and jimmy.
Her:Hey you will respect me mister and our boys mister
I grab her and begin making out. I lead the group telling them our car is just around the corner. lol, it was actually farking 10 blocks away. #farktruth #pussyisonlytruth
We lose my brother, goose, at one point. But he knew the score. We had to pull. Hell or high water. Girls complain you said it was right around the corner. Oh sorry its just a couple more blocks. no it wasn't.
After a bunch of bitching we made it and jumped in the car.
We end up pulling to their house and all closing. d1cks+pussy=sex
After a quick search party we found my brother alone in a diner. He was k. My girl gave off the I want to be your gf vibe I didn't reciprocate. She was fine with that.