Well boys, another college school year is upon us and old ass me is once again prowling the streets of Oxford, Ohio around the Miami University Campus fir the finest pussy in the country.

Move in week was 2 weeks ago. I mark my calendar every year, because the key to college game. Even for an old ass bastard like me, is to dig your way like a tick into the top social cliques. To do this you have to get involved before the.cliques form. This means making your impression early, within the first 6 weeks of school starting.

Miss that window, life becomes harsh.

The good news? Most college boys are losers with no game at all. With just a little better fashion, and a lot more confidence.. today's college man has the widest variety of choice imaginable to any man on the planet!

So,Monday nights is karaoke night at the largest club in the town of Oxford. Brick Street.

I got off work early tonight, so I already had my harmonicas in my car and I headed up. A freakin full hour drive from my job to the venue.

I walked inside, just some frat boys watching Monday Night Football and gaming the bartender. The beer tasted like shit, those college kids are getting robbed.

I sit and drink a few. Dj kid is setting up the mics for karaoke. All good.

MISSION: Carefully observe the social interactions of the kids. Who are the cool kids? Who are the losers.

Boy was I in for treat! I saw some of the BEST asshole game that you could imagine. I'm out on the porch smoking a cig. This one blond kid with a little bit of beard, MEAN little bastard, is bullying around a group of indian kids.

Well these 3 hot girls stop near him and he looks over and one of the girls says "Hi".

This farktard kid looks her whole group in the face and says "fark you!" With the meanest tone I ever heard.

This chick looks at him and says "Well fark You To!"

And.. he was IN! YES... the little bastard was in like Flynn! My respect instantly climbed for this kid. I kept my eye on him the rest of the night and watched him game the 9 of the group. Little bastard will be either my best friend, or worst rival. He was a tough little kid.

Okay, so Karaoke night starts and I let things go until midnight, thats when the hotties show up. I timed the whole event. I have from 12am to 130am is the window. Outside that game over.

So I talk to the little.DJ kid and I swear every year these college kids.get tinier, and he's just down for me to perform. So I tell him I will Do radioactive by imagine dragons and lift the roof off the place.

Right at 12 I get on stage. I'm dressed to kill, much better than any kid in that place.

My name is called. I go up. The crowd, big by even a seasoned local band guys standards, stares at me. The acoustic intro begins. I hold up my harmonica for all to see. The intro ends, the drop builds... the Tension inside my body is at orgasmic levels. This is what I wait for all year. That first sweet note that calls women to my side.

Boom. I hit the first notes. Mouths drop, phones fly out of purses and pockets. The crowd presses against the stage, every hand a camera. I ROCK IT boys.. rock it like none other.

For 3 minutes and 30 seconds, I am the absolute center of the universe to these kids. I had it all blocked out. These visions are mere flashes of memory.because when I blow harp, my entire soul goes into that shit.

Hearts melt and panties drop! By the time I'm done, I'm viral. As we speak I am being propagated across the University campus! All I have to do now is show up every monday for the.next month.. and I will be a celebrity with a full clique of my own.. at 38.

No drug, no buzz, nothing matches the high I feel when every kid, boy or sexy young girl walks up to me and gushes on me. This is the highest level of game I can achieve in my city, possibly the nation given that Miami U is consistently rated in the top 5 of Playboy's list of Schools with the Hottest Girls.