I get a lot of guys telling me that I don't understand the basics of pickup because I'm friends with girls that I find attractive, and yet don't try to fuck them. Now, to be fair to them, this does sound rather counter-intuitive. But to be fair to me, these are generally girls I'm not particularly compatible with- a few are lesbians, a few are 1000+ miles away (although I love talking to them and learning from them because they are cool people), some are married, some have kids, etc.
Well, tonight I reaffirmed that I was on the right path. Several weeks ago, I went out with a girl more than 10 years my junior. It was a dutch date, although our night out cost into the low 4-figures. It was just an extravagant thing that we both wanted to do and decided we'd rather pay our own way to go together than bother with anyone else. It was a great time. Lots of laughs, a few great memories, but it was really just a night out with a close friend.
But after that, one of my FB's stopped texting me. She went cold for a few weeks. I felt like she may have been jealous, but we already had the polyamory talk, she has a new bf, so instead of freaking out, I just kind of ignored things and let them roll.
Well tonight was funny. I had the day off from work. I was bored, I wasn't going to go out on a Monday night. I succumbed. Around 9pm, I flipped on a few pornos, I had a massive erection, my dick with in my hand, I'm pumping away, and suddenly, I get a text from my FB asking if I'm around cuz she has 20 minutes to kill in my area. I agree. I jump in the shower and I turned it on, cold as hell. When she finally got here, I was super nervous. I was expecting some awkward break up speech. We hung out awkwardly for a little bit and she asked if she could have a drink. I didn't have anything to her liking so we popped over to the liquor store and she bought a bottle. It was about then that I got out of my head. I started being silly and fun and carefree. We got back to my place and I continued The Vibe. She handed me a gram of a substance which will not be named, but it's sort of like oregano. Then she gave me head (she was on her period) and then she left.
After that, I was feeling better, a lot less nervous. Kinda bored too. I got on FB and hit up a few female friends. I guess I just wanted to banter a bit and be a cool guy. The friend of mine from the "million dollar date" was on and I started chatting with her and a few other girlfriends of mine. I was kind of high at this point. I'd already gotten my rocks off. Mostly, I just wanted to have some cool conversations and a few laughs and maybe flirt a bit. I told my girl friend what happened earlier and said that I had the munchies and I apologized to her because I just then realized that I had totally blanked out on the fact that we were supposed to go together to see a movie tonight. She said she'd forgotten too and it was cool. It was 2am. I suggested we go out and grab something to eat. I picked her up. We went to a 24 hour diner. We would up dancing and shaking our asses as we waited for our table and laughing like silly kids. Then we sat down and talked about life, talked about how my night went, I told her the details. She picked up the tab for dinner, I drove her home and we did donuts in the parking lot in the freshly fallen snow and she gave me a huge hug as I dropped her off.
That was my night. A bj, some weed, several fun conversations with female friends. No judgment. No hiding what I'm doing. I got what I needed and even managed to have an unexpected, relaxed dinner afterwards with a friend. And my total expenditure for the entire night was less than $20. All in all, a pretty satisfying night.
Now some guys will point out, "Wouldn't you feel better if you were banging her too?" And I'll concede that the answer is yes. But does she add a lot to my life and make me a better and happier person? Does she take care of me in a genuinely 50/50 manner? support me? Help me when I'm having troubles? Is she always there for me? Does she watch my apartment when I go out of town and always act conduct herself like my partner when in my presence? Yes, she absolutely does. And in my eyes, that's worth something. It's worth a lot, actually. She's one of the people in my life who I can truly count on and I'm not too concerned with screwing that up... not so long as there's other girls around who want to come over and give me head. Yes, I can see that it'd be a major frustration for me if I were coming from a place of scarcity, if my love life weren't as varied and amusing as hers, but we're pretty equal in that regard, so I really don't have any place to be jealous. It's fine. I treasure our friendship. And as long as she doesn't cock block me, she's more than welcome to remain in my life.
Anyway, that's a little bit about how I view social circle game. It's all about making genuine connections with a lot of people and just adding to that, any girl who wants to join your harem. If they don't that's fine too. You are complete. They are special in your eyes. They are with you because you give them value. But you do not require their validation.
Now, I'm not suggesting you always expect girls to buy you stuff (however, I really think that if I wanted to be a cheapskate, I totally could float by on female generosity!). The point is, sometimes spending time with you is valuable enough to a girl that buying a bottle, or buying a dinner is a fair price to pay. The one girl said to me, "Sure, I could have done this ($1000+) date with some guy who could afford to take me, but then he'd be all grabbing at me, being annoying and awkward, and it just wouldn't have been fun, so I'd much rather go with you and pay my own way. Truth be told, I wouldn't have paid to take a girl on that date. I'm not rich like that. But it's just something I really wanted to do, she sensed it, agreed it would be fun, and so she ponied up the bucks to go with me and make it a "date". The other girl brings me over a bottle or whatever from time to time or whatever.
Part of the trick to getting good at social circle game is that you recognize when you should pay, when you should tell her to pay, and when it's best to go dutch. If you don't run social circle game this way, you'll either find yourself surrounded by fake friends and gold-diggers, or run out of money. Pfft. Forget that. These girls are real friends. I have no issues whatsoever with telling them that I'll go out with them, but they need to pay... even the ones hooking up with me. I'm my own person, I'm on my own purpose, my money goes where it goes because I have things that I do. If you want to hang out with me, it's got to more or less balance out on the ledger. And if you're not hooking up with me, then I'd say it's got to fall even a littler farther than that in my favor, whether financially, or in some other area where she improves my life.
Sure, a true master PUA will come along and tell me that I should have 100 girls exactly like this who are ALSO sleeping with me. But the truth is, I probably only go out one night a week because of my schedule. I also find that I do better in pickup when I have a bunch of wonderful cool fun and exciting girls surrounding me whenever I go out. So I take the good with the bad and accept some cool friendships, and intersperse them with my girls who hook up with. And I'm never in short supply of either these days. And I feel pretty good about that.