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  • 2 Post By SpiritualGangster

Thread: 2 years: what's worked, what's changed

  1. #1
    luciddreamer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 2 years: what's worked, what's changed

    I've been making an increased effort the last two years to improve myself and how I relate to women. Last year I went on more dates than I have any other year in my life. I whipped my body into shape, and I take natural supplements to help mood and sociability. I have also gained enough confidence and self-value to buy clothes that I like, and to take care of my wardrobe. All great stuff. I'm noticing vocal tonality more and I'm starting to gain a more adult, assertive tone instead of a nasal-y nice guy "please like me" tone that drives people away.

    As Mystery said in one of his books, once you start going out and being social regularly, things slow down and patterns emerge. I'm starting to see patterns of self-doubt, learned helplessness, and sometimes creepiness, along with times when I can be charming, non-judgmental, warm, and fun to be around.

    I have a few sticking points that maybe some of you can help me with. I'm having trouble changing emotional states on demand. Sometimes I need to be able to pull my head out of a rut or not let something that made me angry get me down. Sometimes I need to be able to keep smiling and interacting with people while I process and let go of whatever negative thing happened. Part of this is practice. I feel that the other part is something that maybe someone can help explain to me a little better.

    I also struggle with smiling. I tend to be a very serious person who doesn't like to smile much in social interactions, and I come across as very rigid. Working to change this.

    and another thing I notice is that I seem to make needy eye contact with a lot of people sometimes when I'm in public. This happens when I'm just doing things like grocery shopping. I'll smile and try to make eye contact with women in a way that is either somewhat creepy/immature/needy. I want to stop this. I need to internalize better, more "alpha" values about women (that I'm the prize, etc.), and I'm not sure how to speed up this process.

  2. #2
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 2 years: what's worked, what's changed

    I've been making an increased effort the last two years to improve myself and how I relate to women. Last year I went on more dates than I have any other year in my life. I whipped my body into shape, and I take natural supplements to help mood and sociability. I have also gained enough confidence and self-value to buy clothes that I like, and to take care of my wardrobe. All great stuff. I'm noticing vocal tonality more and I'm starting to gain a more adult, assertive tone instead of a nasal-y nice guy "please like me" tone that drives people away
    You can fake this tone if you didn't know. Just focus on keeping your diaphragm low when you are talking. Sticking your chest out helps do that. Also, take time to answer and talk slowly.

    As Mystery said in one of his books, once you start going out and being social regularly, things slow down and patterns emerge. I'm starting to see patterns of self-doubt, learned helplessness, and sometimes creepiness, along with times when I can be charming, non-judgmental, warm, and fun to be around.
    Yes there are social patterns and frames in the world, but the way you see and describe yourself is in your head man. When you feel creepy it's because you feel you are, others might not think that.

    I have a few sticking points that maybe some of you can help me with. I'm having trouble changing emotional states on demand. Sometimes I need to be able to pull my head out of a rut or not let something that made me angry get me down. Sometimes I need to be able to keep smiling and interacting with people while I process and let go of whatever negative thing happened. Part of this is practice. I feel that the other part is something that maybe someone can help explain to me a little better.
    It's called drawing state. The best way to do that is to meditate, do self hypnosis 10 mins a day could start you off. The best way to feel good is to thing positive man.

    I also struggle with smiling. I tend to be a very serious person who doesn't like to smile much in social interactions, and I come across as very rigid. Working to change this.

    and another thing I notice is that I seem to make needy eye contact with a lot of people sometimes when I'm in public. This happens when I'm just doing things like grocery shopping. I'll smile and try to make eye contact with women in a way that is either somewhat creepy/immature/needy. I want to stop this. I need to internalize better, more "alpha" values about women (that I'm the prize, etc.), and I'm not sure how to speed up this process.
    Smiling is key to a better social circle and better social interactions. You want to lock eye contact with people because you don't have as much things going on in your life as you should. You are not preoccupied enough. Never force it man, let be natural.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #3
    SpiritualGangster is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 2 years: what's worked, what's changed

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZkA...FJgOcQ&index=1

    Watch this fucking video. I'm still a bit of a newbie (<20 approaches), but I learn fast. After failing an approach today, I learned that I failed it because I was trying to do high energy actions when I was fucking tired and horrible. This video teaches you about being congruent with your current present energy state. Don't try to be high energy when you're low energy, because the ladies can easily detect that! Instead, embrace what you're feeling, and be what you are based on your own present state. He even proves it at the end of the video


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