I've been making an increased effort the last two years to improve myself and how I relate to women. Last year I went on more dates than I have any other year in my life. I whipped my body into shape, and I take natural supplements to help mood and sociability. I have also gained enough confidence and self-value to buy clothes that I like, and to take care of my wardrobe. All great stuff. I'm noticing vocal tonality more and I'm starting to gain a more adult, assertive tone instead of a nasal-y nice guy "please like me" tone that drives people away.
As Mystery said in one of his books, once you start going out and being social regularly, things slow down and patterns emerge. I'm starting to see patterns of self-doubt, learned helplessness, and sometimes creepiness, along with times when I can be charming, non-judgmental, warm, and fun to be around.
I have a few sticking points that maybe some of you can help me with. I'm having trouble changing emotional states on demand. Sometimes I need to be able to pull my head out of a rut or not let something that made me angry get me down. Sometimes I need to be able to keep smiling and interacting with people while I process and let go of whatever negative thing happened. Part of this is practice. I feel that the other part is something that maybe someone can help explain to me a little better.
I also struggle with smiling. I tend to be a very serious person who doesn't like to smile much in social interactions, and I come across as very rigid. Working to change this.
and another thing I notice is that I seem to make needy eye contact with a lot of people sometimes when I'm in public. This happens when I'm just doing things like grocery shopping. I'll smile and try to make eye contact with women in a way that is either somewhat creepy/immature/needy. I want to stop this. I need to internalize better, more "alpha" values about women (that I'm the prize, etc.), and I'm not sure how to speed up this process.