Goal: Approach at least three girls and start a conversation. This is to help acclimate myself to Approach Anxiety and learn to accept it as a natural part of being human.
So, this was the first day of going out and approaching women. It was done in the Tanger 2 around 5:20ish and lasted about until 6:30ish or so. The length was partially due to my finding girls, or lack thereof, that I was attracted to. Without further adieu, let’s get into the nitty gritty.
So I was walking towards a Nike outlet and immediately spotted a hot girl with a fat ass amongst her friends. Right before this I could feel the anxiety build-up because I was thrusting myself into a new situation. Short format, I pussied out and didn’t approach.
Error: I was too insecure and caught up into my own head. I didn’t feel I deserved the woman so I backed down like a bitch!
Solution: Grow some balls and approach. Swallow the fear or else you’ll be back in the same place you’ve always been in three years from now. Afraid of beautiful women and alone.
I walked some more until I came up on Rue 21. A girl was checking out some shorts and I thought she looked decent enough and walked up to her. I said to her, “I don’t think those will work for you.”
She responds with, “What? You think these won’t work?”
I give her a negative and point out some shorts right next to hers that were nearly identical, but with slight variations.
“I think these will work.”
When she asks, “Why?” I answer that they have blue in them. She laughs and examines them. She spots a embellishment on the back as says, “I don’t like the ribbons. I don’t do ribbons.” I simply paraphrase her response causing her to go back to looking for clothes so I see this as my cue to disengage. I walk away thinking, “That wasn’t too bad.”
Error: I didn’t come with directness. I was spontaneous and funny, but I didn’t show my intent clearly enough. It was more general teasing and chitchat than anything. My interest was more implied than anything.
Solution: Get to the point and attempt the close. You can’t expect her to just throw it at you. You’re a man so you have to lead the interaction by taking action.
Not too long after that I ran into another girl who was one of those “I’d fuck, but dating...meh” kind of girls. She was working on the outside on the sidewalk for the Memorial Day Sale. I walked up to her and said, “Tell me why I should buy a t-shirt.” So we spent the next couple of her giving a pro for the shirts and me just supplying witty banter and playfully holding off on the sale. She was laughing, of course, but eventually a coworker of hers interceded.
She asked what was going on and I replied that her coworker was, “Trying to convince me to buy a shirt.” Eventually, she tried to do the same as her friend and I kept the same attitude. She showed me a shirt that I didn’t end up buying and left.
Error: I was distracted from my target. I have to lock on and focus during my sets and ignore everything else. Also, too much of the chummy idle chatter. No escalation to adult platforms or anything. Gotta break that habit, man.
Solution: Same as above. Make clear your intent. Possibly use opportunities to include small sexual innuendos to spike interest and then pull back to normal convo or alternatively utilize “negatives” to show independence and value. Don’t get pulled away from your goal or she’ll assume you’re not interested or friend zone you or some other bullshit.
Following that I walked around for awhile with another girl piquing my interest and she was bad. Light-skinned with curly hair. My adrenaline was up so I was going to approach her while she was walking to her car, but I pulled back making excuses about “distances” and “seeming creepy”.
Error: Ipussied out.
Solution: Stop making excuses. Approach. Approach. Approach. You’re not gonna get good by letting the girl walk away. Don’t care if you come across as creepy. You validate you and only you.
Finally, I walked around for thirty and came across another “I’d fuck, but not date”. Off jump I could tell she wasn’t looking to hook-up. No change of facial expression on my approach, no eye contact, no smile, nothing. I did it anyway.
I open with, “You are amazing! Did you come to the Tanger just so I could find you?”
I get a blank stare and a terse, “No.”
I follow and attempt rapport, but still one word responses. I get a name, but that’s it. I disengage and leave the Tanger.
Error: I still pursued despite obvious signs of disinterest. I probably stayed longer than I should have and I might have been smiling too much.
Solution: Constantly read attraction levels. If it’s below a certain area and you can feel it, then fuck it. Move on. Your time is precious, don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t recognize your great value.
So that’s my first report. There are other things I didn’t write like my positive mindset prior to the sets due to early morning exercise, meditation, and positive affirmations. As a first day I guess it wasn’t too bad, but it could’ve gone better. Regardless, I’ve done more than most so it’s not a total wash.
Tell me what you guys think.