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Thread: Into the Belly

  1. #1
    Perception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Into the Belly

    Day 1

    Goal: Approach at least three girls and start a conversation. This is to help acclimate myself to Approach Anxiety and learn to accept it as a natural part of being human.

    So, this was the first day of going out and approaching women. It was done in the Tanger 2 around 5:20ish and lasted about until 6:30ish or so. The length was partially due to my finding girls, or lack thereof, that I was attracted to. Without further adieu, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

    So I was walking towards a Nike outlet and immediately spotted a hot girl with a fat ass amongst her friends. Right before this I could feel the anxiety build-up because I was thrusting myself into a new situation. Short format, I pussied out and didn’t approach.

    Error: I was too insecure and caught up into my own head. I didn’t feel I deserved the woman so I backed down like a bitch!

    Solution: Grow some balls and approach. Swallow the fear or else you’ll be back in the same place you’ve always been in three years from now. Afraid of beautiful women and alone.

    I walked some more until I came up on Rue 21. A girl was checking out some shorts and I thought she looked decent enough and walked up to her. I said to her, “I don’t think those will work for you.”

    She responds with, “What? You think these won’t work?”

    I give her a negative and point out some shorts right next to hers that were nearly identical, but with slight variations.

    “I think these will work.”

    When she asks, “Why?” I answer that they have blue in them. She laughs and examines them. She spots a embellishment on the back as says, “I don’t like the ribbons. I don’t do ribbons.” I simply paraphrase her response causing her to go back to looking for clothes so I see this as my cue to disengage. I walk away thinking, “That wasn’t too bad.”

    Error: I didn’t come with directness. I was spontaneous and funny, but I didn’t show my intent clearly enough. It was more general teasing and chitchat than anything. My interest was more implied than anything.

    Solution: Get to the point and attempt the close. You can’t expect her to just throw it at you. You’re a man so you have to lead the interaction by taking action.

    Not too long after that I ran into another girl who was one of those “I’d fuck, but dating...meh” kind of girls. She was working on the outside on the sidewalk for the Memorial Day Sale. I walked up to her and said, “Tell me why I should buy a t-shirt.” So we spent the next couple of her giving a pro for the shirts and me just supplying witty banter and playfully holding off on the sale. She was laughing, of course, but eventually a coworker of hers interceded.

    She asked what was going on and I replied that her coworker was, “Trying to convince me to buy a shirt.” Eventually, she tried to do the same as her friend and I kept the same attitude. She showed me a shirt that I didn’t end up buying and left.

    Error: I was distracted from my target. I have to lock on and focus during my sets and ignore everything else. Also, too much of the chummy idle chatter. No escalation to adult platforms or anything. Gotta break that habit, man.

    Solution: Same as above. Make clear your intent. Possibly use opportunities to include small sexual innuendos to spike interest and then pull back to normal convo or alternatively utilize “negatives” to show independence and value. Don’t get pulled away from your goal or she’ll assume you’re not interested or friend zone you or some other bullshit.

    Following that I walked around for awhile with another girl piquing my interest and she was bad. Light-skinned with curly hair. My adrenaline was up so I was going to approach her while she was walking to her car, but I pulled back making excuses about “distances” and “seeming creepy”.

    Error: Ipussied out.

    Solution: Stop making excuses. Approach. Approach. Approach. You’re not gonna get good by letting the girl walk away. Don’t care if you come across as creepy. You validate you and only you.

    Finally, I walked around for thirty and came across another “I’d fuck, but not date”. Off jump I could tell she wasn’t looking to hook-up. No change of facial expression on my approach, no eye contact, no smile, nothing. I did it anyway.

    I open with, “You are amazing! Did you come to the Tanger just so I could find you?”

    I get a blank stare and a terse, “No.”

    I follow and attempt rapport, but still one word responses. I get a name, but that’s it. I disengage and leave the Tanger.

    Error: I still pursued despite obvious signs of disinterest. I probably stayed longer than I should have and I might have been smiling too much.

    Solution: Constantly read attraction levels. If it’s below a certain area and you can feel it, then fuck it. Move on. Your time is precious, don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t recognize your great value.

    So that’s my first report. There are other things I didn’t write like my positive mindset prior to the sets due to early morning exercise, meditation, and positive affirmations. As a first day I guess it wasn’t too bad, but it could’ve gone better. Regardless, I’ve done more than most so it’s not a total wash.

    Tell me what you guys think.

  2. #2
    Perception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Into the Belly

    Day 2
    5/25/2015

    Goal: Approach at least three girls to acclimate to Approach Anxiety.

    So I’ll start off by saying I did not approach three girls today. Partly out of fear and partly because I was trying to hang out with my friends. I did approach two, but they were really nothing to scoff at. You’ll figure out why below.

    After my meeting at work I head to the Tanger again. I find this cute girl in short shorts working a phone casing stand. I engage and very early in the conversation I go, “I really only used the phone casing as an excuse to talk to you, but if I can get a phone casing, too. That’d be great.”

    She doesn’t seem to respond, but I don’t let it deter me.She laughs and we continue talking. My phone ends up in her hand as she examines it and I say, “Why don’t you go ahead and put your number in there.”

    More of a statement then a question. She laughs and goes, “Oh my god.” While I simply nod my head with a shit-faced grin saying, “Yep.” She admits that “that’s not going to work out” because she has someone she’s talking to. I say, “That’s okay. Tell him I’m gay.”

    That elicits more laughter and she doesn’t believe me as she says, “You don’t look it.”

    I say, “What? I kinda look gay.”

    Eventually, she asks my name and I give it and receive hers in turn. She has to go over to help other customers so I examine the casing. She comes back, but at this point I determine that there’s nothing to gain here so I’m prepared to dip. I ask one more time if she would put her number in my phone, but she declines and asks how old I am. I tell her my age and say, “I’d prove it to you with my ID, but that’s too much.”

    I walk away.

    Analysis: I let my interest drop once the quasi-boyfriend thing came up. I should’ve pursued a bit more. I felt she was into me, but was on the fence about the whole thing. Her asking for my name showed interest so that should’ve been my cue to push a little bit further. I also fucked up by letting her go to the other customers. What I should’ve done was made her stay, using playful language, of course, to let her know that I wasn’t to be ignored.

    As I leave another store I encounter a girl that smiles at me as I make eye contact so I turn around and after saying, “Hello.” I ask her name. She says it’s, “Brittany.” She didn’t ask my name, though so I departed.

    Analysis: This is worth mentioning because I felt she had interest even though she didn’t ask my name. Though her body was facing away and she only turned her head towards me so I was probably right on the money about that. I could use some help deciphering this guys.

    Later, in Savannah I approach this girl to ask if I looked cute in a shirt. She said I did so I asked her her name and shook her hand. She turned away immediately after this, though so I sensed low attraction and disengaged.

    Analysis: Okay, so technically I did approach two girls, but the last two weren’t quality approaches. I think I made the right move with the aforementioned girl in Savannah. Anyway tell me what you guys think.

  3. #3
    fitness is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Into the Belly

    You gotta approach a little more under the radar. You can always use the typical, "I gotta leave in a sec but let me ask you a quick question _________" openers they will work much better for you. It may seem odd at first but when they start working it will really help your Approach Anxiety. Instead of conveying interest right away, just spark up a friendly conversation and demonstrate value. You can neg her a little bit to dhv but don't go overboard with it or you will come off as a jerk. You always microcalibrate with showing interest after throwing a neg. It keeps her guessing and makes you higher value which makes you more interesting. Keep posting your field reports though man. Great job for getting out there. Hope this helps!

  4. #4
    Perception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Into the Belly

    Dude, I appreciate the advice, but I'm kinda lost on the lingo. "Microcalibrate" throws me off a little bit. Also, I'm not familiar with the opener you're talking about. Am I supposed to fill in my own question? Thanks for the encouragement and I plan to continue. I'll post my field report below but it was written before your advice so the questions posed within aren't congruent with your advice.

    Day 3
    5/25/2015

    So the day began as somewhat misleading. I had pumped myself all the way until I got to the outlets which made me a bit tired when I finally calmed down, but whatever. I get out there and realize I’m getting stuck in my head so I ask a couple of old ladies for the direction to a Starbucks I already know the location of just to get my mouth moving.

    So I’m pretty confident until I get to the hub and realize how fucking terrified I am. This comes just after saying the anxiety has lessened. This persists causing me to pass up a couple of opportunities to approach. I keep up the positive self-chatter and I see these two girls walking in front of me. I walk up behind fully intending to engage...but I flake and turn left.

    Coincidentally, so do they and I jump on the opportunity. I say, “Are you following me?”

    The first smirks and answers, “No.” I ask how their day was going and if they were enjoying the Memorial Day sale. I add, “I’m not trying to pitch a sale, either. I just want to know.” They answer, “Good” and we walk on.

    We come to a crosswalk and I go, “Will one of you grab my hand and walk me across?” in a joking way. She doesn’t answer at first and we walk across and I go, “Are you gonna do it?” She answers, “No.” halfway across with a smile.

    On the other side we come to a cross and she informs me, “We’re going this way.” I say, “Okay, go that way.” and wave them off.

    Analysis: Okay, obviously I let my anxiety get the best of me and missed several opportunities. So same advice there. Just beeline approach and see what happens. I think I came off a bit needy to the girls for some reason. Not sure why, but I think it was my pressuring while going across the crosswalk.

    So I actually felt energized after the last interaction and entered a store. Not long on the inside I see two girls walk inside. I grab the shirt I was looking at and walk over much faster than before. Once I get up to them I ask: “Does this shirt bring out my eyes?”

    This gets them to giggle and one confirms that it does. I ask what they think the animal on the shirt is and they say it’s “a bear. What else could it be?” I answer that I thought it was a wolf.

    I then tell them to enjoy their shopping and leave. As I walk out the door I spot a girl checking out shorts. (What a coincidence!) I put my hands on a pair in front of her and say, “Those would look good on you. They enhance your figure.”

    I don’t really wait on a response as she turns away and I leave.

    Analysis: Not too sure what to say about this. It was just a very general interaction with nothing standing out. I didn’t state my intent so I guess that’s a negative. Positive is that I approached much faster than before especially with the second girl which was near instantaneous.

    I felt good about the day as I only approached girls I thought were hot and not just cute or okay. So improvement there. I also got better with my timing so more kudos. I gotta work on overcoming the anxiety though. I realize that it’s always going to be there, but I need to work on pushing through.

    Anyway, tell me what you guys think. Alternative opinions are always welcomed.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Into the Belly

    I didn’t feel I deserved the woman
    you don't need game, you need a sense of self worth. (aa almost always comes from a lack of self worth, and a lack of experience. while it is true that there's always going to be a small amount of doubt in the back of your mind, valuing yourself will make it easier to ignore that doubt.)

    now, where many guys go wrong is that they try to get their sense of self worth from people validating them. this is all wrong.

    get your sense of self worth by accomplishing goals, and living the life you want to live.

    after that, having women in your life will be much simpler.

    “I don’t like the ribbons. I don’t do ribbons.” I simply paraphrase her response causing her to go back to looking for clothes so I see this as my cue to disengage. I walk away thinking, “That wasn’t too bad.”

    Error: I didn’t come with directness. I was spontaneous and funny, but I didn’t show my intent clearly enough. It was more general teasing and chitchat than anything. My interest was more implied than anything.
    ah, the real error here is that you failed to hook her into a conversation and then walked away instead of at least attempting to push farther (even if you failed you can learn much more from longer lasting conversations, you've got nothing to lose by saying a few more sentences)

    Solution: Get to the point and attempt the close. You can’t expect her to just throw it at you. You’re a man so you have to lead the interaction by taking action.
    this is good logic, though you don't have to get to the point right away. I would honestly recommend talking for a half hour before getting the number (if the situation will allow) (even though most women will give you their number within 2 minutes as long as you seem friendly. unfortunately it does not mean they will answer your texts. hints why I use the 30 minute rule when possible)

    [QUOTE][Error: I was distracted from my target. I have to lock on and focus during my sets and ignore everything else. Also, too much of the chummy idle chatter. No escalation to adult platforms or anything. Gotta break that habit, man.
    /QUOTE]

    ah, Kino is the only thing that makes the difference between "chummy idle chatter" and sexually expressive idle chatter.


    Possibly use opportunities to include small sexual innuendos to spike interest and then pull back to normal convo
    this is actually a decent push pull tactic that I use all the time.

    Tanger
    as in the Tanger outlets in Pittsburgh? I go there like 4 times a year. its only 50 miles from where I live.

    As a first day I guess it wasn’t too bad, but it could’ve gone better. Regardless, I’ve done more than most so it’s not a total wash.
    I think you did excellent for your first time going out specifically to meet women.

  6. #6
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Into the Belly

    “You don’t look it.”

    I say, “What? I kinda look gay.”
    here, you subtly sought her approval when you said "I kinda look gay" (plus the phrase "kind of" shows that you are unsure of yourself, witch is in no way alpha)

    I should’ve pursued a bit more.
    no, you should have backed off and lowered the pressure. Push Pull is a delicate balance of hot and cold. here you burnt her by throwing too much gas on the fire.

    [QUOTE][As I leave another store I encounter a girl that smiles at me as I make eye contact so I turn around and after saying, “Hello.” I ask her name. She says it’s, “Brittany.” She didn’t ask my name, though so I departed.

    /QUOTE]

    premature ejecting is not going to help you win. its like you're playing poker and always folding unless you have at least 4 of a kind. meanwhile the guy across the table is bluffing with junk and slowly winning all the money.


    Though her body was facing away and she only turned her head towards me so I was probably right on the money about that. I could use some help deciphering this guys.
    you can't always expect women to be interested right off the bat. (unless you're famous) you've got to spark attraction by making her laugh or dhv'ing within the first minute or two. passive value isn't always enough to get a woman interested in you. you literally did nothing more than tell her what your name was and ask for hers. this gave her no reason to make an effort, and no reason to want you sexually.

    I asked her her name and shook her hand.
    you shook her hand? way too formal. try giving a hug instead, and started a real conversation by either asking about her or telling her about you. she turned away because you instantly de-sexualized the interaction.

    I walk up behind fully intending to engage...but I flake and turn left.
    and that my friend, is why you don't approach from behind. it makes it too easy to bitch out.

    She answers, “No.” halfway across with a smile.
    if she was being playful, I would have grabbed her hand in a teasing manner and tested her reaction.

    “We’re going this way.”
    also, had you grabbed her hand, you could have led her in the direction you were going and continued the interaction.

    This gets them to giggle and one confirms that it does. I ask what they think the animal on the shirt is and they say it’s “a bear. What else could it be?” I answer that I thought it was a wolf.

    I then tell them to enjoy their shopping and leave.
    and yet again, premature ejecting. its almost a worse problem than premature ejaculation.

    “Those would look good on you. They enhance your figure.”

    I don’t really wait on a response as she turns away and I leave.
    that probably was sexual enough to creep her out. imagine if some dude walked up to you and said that. you probably wouldn't stick around too long.

    [QUOTE][ I also got better with my timing so more kudos. I gotta work on overcoming the anxiety though. I realize that it’s always going to be there, but I need to work on pushing through.
    /QUOTE]

    keep working on it, you'll get better and better with practice.


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