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  1. #1
    matt8oy Guest

    Default Can I recover from this?

    Ok I've been learning this PUA stuff for a few weeks now I just recently became single after a 2 year relationship. So far its awesome and I've gained a lot of confidence and improved my pick up game a lot.

    However a couple of nights ago I met this girl at a cafe where I'd just played a show (musician, guitarist in duo with a singer). We were chatting outside for a while and I had her laughing and we were getting along great, she wanted to go in and get a drink and just to test the water I tried to see if I could get her to shout me and said "they don't pay us enough here for me to buy u a drink you should buy me one". She agree'd to buy me a drink and I said no I actually feel like a coffee and so we went walking to find a coffee shop but everything was closed. She had mentioned she lived near by and I asked if she wanted to go to her place and she could make me a coffee. She was happy with the idea and so off we went.
    At her place I just played it cool we were sitting playing music out on the balcony and just talking shit and having a laugh, she even pulled herself up on asking a too serious question haha. No Where do you work, what do you do broing interview questions allowed, it made for some good conversation.

    I was there for a couple of hours and her coffee was shocking so I could tease her about it and it was also an excuse to meet up again for a proper one. She was like yer that sounds good and we exchanged numbers and off I went.
    Next day she text me saying she had a great time the night before and I said me too and I'll call her next week and we'll go for that coffee, she said sounds good.

    Then WTF, the next day I get this text

    "Hey Matt! I might have to take a rain check on the coffee... I just got out of a relationship and it would not feel right to go into something new as I'm a bit confused right now...sorry, I really enjoyed meeting you though! Good luck with the music you got talent take care of it, maybe I'll see u around! Jess"

    Now I'm not even after a relationship right now as I just came out of one I'm just looking to have some fun and meet new girls and if one is amazing enough then i'll become dedicated but I didn't even think I gave that much of an impression the other night that that's what I wanted.
    Where should I go with this and how should I respond to that text if I should at all?

    I thought maybe I could joke with her about falling for me so easily she's trying to save herself, and then explain my situation and let her know i'm not after that.

    Is she maybe trying to test me? Find out what my intentions are?

    I haven't responded yet... please help

  2. #2
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: Can I recover from this?

    mate this is easy... she is feeling.... well who care what she is feeling? especially since she has no idea herself what she is feeling. she is running around like a headless chook and she wants you to take charge. you are playing it out too far and not enough instinctive bang pow gotcha babe stuff. i also have that theme playing in my game that i am setting up epics or long campaigns... she wants fun.

    do you know what you want?

    contact her back. don't let her blow you off so easy. even if you let her know you are offended and demand to talk to her about it.... bang - you already share something with her

    if you want her mate, take her. she brought you back to her place. she can't lead you on and not at least talk about it. do you want to be friends with her? be honest. if you just want to bang her and lie about it then let her be. if however, you reckon you might want to get to know her and can wing it around that you 2 aren't gonna be an item... hell yeah.

    sounds like you could both use the friendship and that you both need space too.

    if i got a text like that i would at least want her to say it to my face

  3. #3
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can I recover from this?

    yeah actually this is a classic case of having herself get in her own way. U did a lot right the night before and she was feeling you so much you got her mind off everything and let her mind go wild and follow her emotions which were i want to hang out and get to know this guy. Next guy, she is thinking about you and she gets in her own way. she is thinking how can i like this guy a lot. I shouldtn be doing this right now i just got out a realtionship.

    Basically you have to reassure what she was thinking the night before. That you fun and that you guys are just hanging out and playing by ear. if she accepts to keep hanging out, then you can tell her your in a similar situation of just getting out of a relationship. That will let her know you guys are going through similar things. What you have to do is be able to reassure her that whatever happens you wont be judgemental. She is probably thinking that, this guy is going to figure out i just got out of a relationship and think im a horrible person cause im moving on so quickly. or maybe even thinking that she wanted a piece of you in her life but she might be worried that you think she is a slut. Get her to hang out and be sure to present these things to her and also still have that fun ,warm energy. Cause then you wont be an apethetic guy who is just looking for a lay. Ur a genuine musician who understands her and wants to get to know her better and wont judge her about anything that and bam brother she will stop thinking and she will do what she did. Follow her emotions

  4. #4
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: Can I recover from this?

    take it as it comes and keep a few other babes on the go. gives you somewhere to run if she gets her hooks in. babes don't respect those of us who are too easy to catch.

    yeah i am in a situation at the moment where i could go AFC Metro but I have made sure that I wont cos I have other babes on the go. Even if its only to get free goods - oh no that is so AFC metro, yeah we gotta be men about it. We cant just lay down and get caught. Cause then then not only do they catch you but they start limiting your options and running us into a corner etc...

    A good PUA always has room to move. Other babes on the team roster give us leverage and freedom of movement. Who wants a really high quality pair of underwear when they are too tight and your only pair

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