field report 1
Last night I was in Dayton, Ohio with some of my friends from childhood. We were sitting around the house and one of them, Splinter, says we should go to the club because he is meeting a girl there, and shes bringing friends. Now the only club in dayton worth actually going to, that isn't a dive bar hipster hangout, is a gay club called the Masque. I had never been to this club before but my friend assured me that it was hard not, as he so eloquently put it, to peel pussy away from there. His explained further saying that there were more straight girls there because they felt safe in the gay club. I thought it sounded like a swell idea but my other buddy, Russia, has just worked all day and has to be up early though after some extremely intense peer pressure (and maybe some begging) he decided what the hell, he will go if nothing else but to test out his game with girls. (Hes currently reading my copy of THE GAME by Neil Strauss so it was kinda perfect timing)
Splinters personality is that of a natural seducer. Hes flashy, tall, lanky, and he acts like a shameless mother fucker every time we go out. He doesn't fully appreciate his abilities because its so easy for him to get laid but he also has low self esteem and picking up fat girls had been a thing up until recently (Even though he posseses the raw talent to go after HB10s all day) Hes a total AMOG and is just as peacocky as he is domineering. He is the ultimate oppurtunist so when I say hes not the best wing man it's only because hes so competitive that he might throw your game off purposefully so hes the only one going home with someone that night
Russia on the other hand is an extremely loyal friend. His extremely good work ethic and ability to let the things that truly dont matter, go without saying a word. He doesnt hardly ever get angry or animated and it extremely shy about picking up women. He is a bit of a loner and has always been a really short skinny guy. This guys is the kind of dude that would date somebody for years but only need to see them once every other month or so. He doesn't idolize and mysogynize women like Splinter and I do. He fears them with a morbid curiosity as he is more concerned with his lifes trajectory currently and doesn't want to commit to anything. But with his extremely calculated engineering mind, he can problem solve past the point of his insecurities when in good company.
I have been trying to get Russias confidence built up to go out sarging with me for several weeks. Tonight was about getting him on board with a new found hobby as a PUA.
So we go to the club, it's pretty early and it's kinda dead. So we hit up a few bars in the downtown hipster district and walk back to the club around midnight. (Same time Splinters girls are about to show up) We get there and order drinks watching the plethora of woman flocking to the stage where there are 10 minute dances by some of the biggest dicked dudes I've ever seen. Now just so we're clear, and I know personaly, all of my friends and I have pretty impressive packages but guys, Im talking like half way to the knee big in a tight ass speedo. I thought to myself, 'well at least we can drink because it sure as hell isn't going to be a compatition for this single ladies attention tonight.'
But I thought about it a moment. Remember somewhere reading a line about trying to pick women up by telling them if I werent' gay that they would so be going home with me. Challenge accepted. Im not gay. I have nothing against gay people, Im a lover not a judge. And I sincerely LOVE women, like a religion, so if acting gay to talk to more women offends you on some moral level I suggest you quit reading now.
Splinters girl shows up, HB8 is wearing a tight floral dress to mid thight and shes on fucking fire. Thick but healthy thighs and ass and she moves like a stripper. Her friend HB7 is cute as fuck, wearing animal print and these cute librarian looking glasses. Plus this girl will not stop smiling like shes not been out in ages. Immediately Russia game turns on like Donky Kong. This HB7 was way hotter than his last GF. So we leave the stage area and go upstairs to the dance floor. Im feeling pretty buzzed at this point and decide to sit back and watch Russia and Splinters Game from the patio whhile I smoke a cigarette. Russia has just comletely come to life and is all smiles. I can tell hes having a fantastic time. I see him go to get her a drink, which made me roll my eyes, but like wolves on prey i see a bunch of guys start hitting on her and the next thing i know Russias standing with his head hung low holding a drink in each hand not really sure what to do next. Im not sure where Splinter and his girl are at this point and I finish my smoke and go inside to where these guys are grinding all up on her while he watches and walk up behind the obvious AMOG and grab him from behind and start grinding him like Im fucking a supermodel. This throws his game off immediately! All his cronies who are gathered around her like the beginning to a bad gang bang video peel away from this creepy ginger guy who wont stop rubbing his dick all over them. Russias laughing, realises what Im doing for him and goes to buy me a drink. While hes gone I dance with HB7 and HB8 who just showed back up with Splinter before he leaves to dance by himself on a speaker accross the room while ime sndwhiched between two girls who are really into my best friends. I decide its either now or i never say it.
If I werent gay I would already be taking thing both of you home with me tonight.
They give each other a glance and a big fucking smile and start dancing with reckless abandon on me like a stripper pole.
Russia and Splinter leave to go smoke on one patio and we hit the bar for drinks before going to the foam, yess I said foam, patio. It looks like a someone put ten tons of dishsoap in the washer and cranked it to full speed. There are suds ten feet high and im with two of the most beautiful straight girls in the place dancing in a patio full of foam. When we finally get out of the bubbles were all pretty soaked and all over each other.
Double Fuck Yeah!
But remember, tonights about Russia. I just cant help myself sometimes. It's too much fun for me to just sit back. So i leave the girls in the hands of my buddies and I go back down stairs. I run the same line on three different girls tell them Im new here and immediately get their number.
After getting the third number the night was almost through and I went back upstairs. HB8 and HB7 were dancing on each other and my buddies seemed to be enjoying the show from the edge of the bar. I danced with them a while longer and decided we should head out and maybe get a bite to eat. (Theres taco bell near my house opened late and everyones drunk) The girls push for Dennys instead and my buddys all agree thats what they want...
Fucking fools dont get that they arent going to be coming back with us from a sit down restaurant. I wanted to protest but it was too late and I wasn't driving. Sure enough we get to dennys and they start up about how tired they are and how they cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Russia hasn't even got HB7's number yet though they have been together all night. At one point everybody leaves the table but HB7 and I. She shows me pictures of her kid, I show her pictures of my dog, I cant fucking stand it anymore. Russia is being a weiner about how late it is and he has to work in the morning. He doesn't seem to know what to do anymore now that he has to talk so while hes gone from the table, I get her number. We all eat until our limits while HB7 keeps giving me bedroom eyes the whole time I pay my bill and while I wait for my group to pay there bills HB8 walks out where Im leaned up against the bulding and asks for a smoke. While im trying to find a lighter she leans in really close and says I know your not gay...
I looked at her hoping she would explain what she meant before I agreed or protested.
She leans in even closer and grabs me through the jeans by the cock and whispers in my ear 'gay guys dicks dont get that hard when they dance with you' and bites my earlobe.
I mean come the fuck on! Theres no fucking way I couldn't respond, I dont care about the bro code anymore though i know its wrong, nobodies in love anyway. I grab a handful of her hair and pull her earr into my mouuth and whisper right back, 'Can you keep a secret?' No bite, no tongue, just breathing on her neck for about a second too long and pull her back away from me by the hair. And light her cigarette befoore lettiing go of hair and base of her neck. I hand her my phone and she putts in her number.
Everybody else comes out and we part ways
Daytons fuckiing crazy right?!?