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  • 1 Post By mystique
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Thread: Taking rejection out of the system

  1. #1
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Taking rejection out of the system

    “TRUE! – nervous – very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses – not destroyed – not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily – how calmly I can tell you the whole story.”

    I am back in field after nearly a year long hiatus. Zeroed down on a mall in the vicinity as the venue. I even contacted a long time wing since it would be far too arduous to sarge solo. It was important to turn approaching into a motor function once again and for that we had to get rejection out of the way ASAP. So, we decided to do everything wrong and try to fuck up things by as much as possible without getting killed. This included approaching from behind, asking weirded out questions and approaching sets within 3 seconds or as soon we saw them. Both of us were approaching after nearly a year and were feeling nervous as well as apprehensive.

    The first fifteen minutes were spent gawking awkwardly at women. However, I decided to just fuck it and approach a set.

    Instance one: Two set walking around twelve to fifteen feet away from us.
    I holler out to her, “excuse me” and call her over with one finger. My legs rooted firmly to the ground. She obliges.

    Me: Hey, so we were going to this costume party and I wanted to know if you could think of any whacked out costume ideas. The theme is superheroes.

    Girl 1 (fairly attractive girl who is visibly blushing, legs crossed, the old me would have scooped this one out of the water but I am too goddamn rusty - her friend remains at a distance, 12 feet away and wondering about what the hell was happening): I am not into superheroes. I don’t know anything about them.

    (She’s smiling and I have this stony cynical expression on my face)

    Me: How boring. You’re no fun.

    Girl 1: I am sorry. (She seems genuinely sorry)

    I exit the set.

    Instance two: Mixed two set, apparently a couple.

    I approach the guy with the same opener and ask him if he knows any Japanese superheroes that I could google.

    Guy seems friendly at first and I completely ignore the girl (who is sultry, has curly bangs and is fairly attractive).

    He rambles on about some nonsense and then the girl intervenes. Evidently, clamouring for attention.

    I engage her and the guy acts out and says that they are getting late for the movie and would like to leave. I let them go.

    So, we had fun, overall and I approached four to five sets. All from behind.

    Did not get any proper rejections but we will push things more from the next time on. My wing did get one. I think I should have stayed in sets longer and will implement this during my next in field practice.

    Feel free to critique, provide tips or creative ways to get rejected and innovative ideas.

  2. #2
    mystique's Avatar
    mystique is offline A woman's perspective
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    I like this. You made me laugh. You seem fresh and have some pizzaz.

    Continue. I'm interested to hear more
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  3. #3
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    "It is better to be hated for who you are than loved for something that you are not."

    Familiarity breeds contempt.

    As a kid growing up in a third world country, a tall giant kid if you will, I always loved superheroes. They were the good guys and it seemed somewhat cool to beat the bad guys up.

    Then as I grew up, I started to become increasingly disillusioned with the world around me. I began to question things and mostly no clear answers emerged.

    Nothing was black and white anymore; the world seemed increasingly like a chaotic place filled with ambiguous events and situations that happened for no clear reason. There was this increasing sense of overwhelming resentment.

    The way I saw it, the people around me were like zombies, tic-toc, tic-toc and akin to that of drones in a star wars factory. They could see little beyond movies, politics, hunger and religion. It was certainly disappointing because I always over-estimated the mental faculties of my peers. And they were always lacking.&nbsp;<br><b r><br>It dawned on me then, that we are all monsters and when a man is a pushed too far then all semblance of civlity vanishes. It is then that you see the animal surge within him. And I know this all too well for I have borne the fury of a mob (In a mob even sane men become vicious animals shorn of reason or trenchant thought since they can escape punishment).

    Heroes, no longer appealed to me. They seemed one-dimensional, caricacturish and farfetched from reality. There were no heroes in the real world that I knew after all. Suddenly, the villain seemed more appealing and increasingly more human for he/she depicted the flaws in his/her persona.

    We are all criminals. The finest and truest specimens of humanity are those that lurk behind bars. The rest are but posers.

    Why am I telling you this?

    You see, I fucked up big big today. Now, I am a port wine swivelling hedonistic pig with no clear moral compass but I have been trying to exercise restraint. To not give in to my impulses. Neverthess, I did fuck up today and it was the same old, same old.

    I was feeling depressed and out of it. Wanting to escape reaity, I hit a dance bar and picked up a short cute girl with enormous boobs who dilligently sat on my lap. While another sat beside me and fed her mammaries to me. I was the only guy in the bar with two appealing women who were wantonly willing to do as I pleased.

    I did everything possible there, including taking turns to kiss the girls while both the girls reached down for my zipper and gave me a handjob. It is the closest that I have gotten to a threesome. The only other instance was with my ex quasi girlfriend in a discotheque who got another cute girl to dance. Both of them rubbing their bodies against mine while I acted extremely uptight and uncormfortable.

    I need to break out of what I did today. You see, I acted like a scmuck because you need to pay these girls. It is an exercise in utility and validation.

    If I were to diagnose myself then I would say that I am a love avoidant. One of the biggest reasons that I avoided going in field or hooking up with women is because I am afraid of getting emotionally attached. These women are easier because it is no strings. Conversely, it makes me feel disgusted with myself because I am trying to fill the hole within myself by seeking out the wrong holes.

    The only silver lining here is that I did not sleep with them and it was limited to kissing, cuddling, dry humping and motor boating.

    I would like an accountability partner. Someone who can keep a check one me and admonish me when neccessary. Would be most splendid if someone could oblige?

    On the bright side, I have been off porn since a week.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    First, we all make mistakes. I don't necessarily see yours as a mistake however, you obviously do...

    Give yourself some time and grace. We are all human. It is possible to have self control however I do know some people struggle due to brain patterns (habits) and also due to the way the brain is wired. Have you heard of neurogenesis? It's a process in the brain which is amazing. You probably know that old cells regularly die and new cells are born but what is particularly interesting is that the old pathways in the brain, the unused ones, slowly fade away (cells die) and new pathways are formed in their place - when we start changing our behaviors. This is pretty encouraging because it tells us that we can change and no matter how 'set in our ways' we may feel, we can change. It may be bloody difficult, but I believe with aids, tools and encouragement, anything is possible.

    There are a lot of awesome guys on this forum. I'm sure any of them would be honored to help you with accountability. Perhaps post a new thread and you could trade weaknesses for strengths to help each other? Accountability is imperative if change is necessary. Good luck. Nb: Do you blog? You are quite descriptive and quite a good writer. Writing also helps with self awareness (you seem to already have this skill) Good stuff.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  5. #5
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    Thanks for writing in Mystique. It helps a great deal.

    I have held a keen interest in neurology but have met with little success when it comes to changing my habits. Even so, there have been changes, albeit slow and gradual. Like you state, creating new neural connections requires accountability and persistence. Reckon that the people in this forum can certainly help me in this quest.

    I intend to create a few routines and stick to them for a period of thirty days. That might help.

    I did blog once, ages ago and if you'd like then I can send across the link to you on pm. It's a tad bit verbose.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    snip.

  6. #6
    mystique's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    Quote Originally Posted by ryuzaki21 View Post
    Thanks for writing in Mystique. It helps a great deal.

    I have held a keen interest in neurology but have met with little success when it comes to changing my habits. Even so, there have been changes, albeit slow and gradual. Like you state, creating new neural connections requires accountability and persistence. Reckon that the people in this forum can certainly help me in this quest.

    I intend to create a few routines and stick to them for a period of thirty days. That might help.

    I did blog once, ages ago and if you'd like then I can send across the link to you on pm. It's a tad bit verbose.
    Sound plan. I challenge you to stick with each new habit for 45 days. The first few weeks are hardest. When I gave up smoking the first week was hell but I persisted with the Mindset that I'd already come so far and my hard efforts would be wasted if I gave in. Replace old habits with new healthy ones and you'll make it. Sure thing, send me a pm with link of your blog. I'm an avid reader and write too
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  7. #7
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Taking rejection out of the system

    Challenge accepted :d

    I started afresh today by walking to and from office without using any transportation. It's an hour away from my abode. That and 200 push ups as well as lifts once I got home.

    I intend to have a water fast tomorrow and then sarge while I am at it(which would delineate drinking merely water/ green tea while avoiding solids/calories for a 24 hour period). Since it allows me develop a degree of self control and remain focussed on the task at hand.

    Let's see how that goes.

    And yeah, something totally weird happened today but it gave me some insight into how women must feel while being approached.

    There was this random bloke who started talking to me and acting creepy. He kept asking me about my contact details. I lied and tried to get out of the situation.

    I imagined that it was one of those people looking for Multi level marketing scheme targets. However, this clown was waiting for below my office and approached me again while I left. It was extremely creepy. I hope that this person is not a potential stalker.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    Sound plan. I challenge you to stick with each new habit for 45 days. The first few weeks are hardest. When I gave up smoking the first week was hell but I persisted with the Mindset that I'd already come so far and my hard efforts would be wasted if I gave in. Replace old habits with new healthy ones and you'll make it. Sure thing, send me a pm with link of your blog. I'm an avid reader and write too


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