Hi! I'd like to tell this report because something very specific detailed below and of course, recieve your opinions: I perfectly know the main mistakes I made, in fact I'm not so interested in you to advise me about 'em —if you do, be my guest, though— else, I wanna get feedback to "fix" the drawback, i.e. seal the deal in those next days.
I met this girl, Iris, sometime ago at the campus (not partner). Technically, the first time I saw her —walking with, for then, her boyfriend— she caught my attention and I simply thought "I want this girl." For a while I didn't see her again and also I was focused on other targets, she was only one more chick passing by.
A good day, we began to meet in a same classroom. Apparently now, with no BF. I decided to open her, and start the game. We had some mutual friends. I sincerely don't remember very well, but all I know that the thing was perfect. Finishing some class (evening late) we came together walking to our own homes. The comfort was big, tremendous, that walk was almost a date indeed: sadly I couldn't turn it into a real one and maybe she didn't too. So we parted.
That same night, when I could login to Facebook, I already had a friend request. Iris. Yes, yes — I know. I did not make any close before; I was too confident in her investment... and well, I wasn't wrong. As I didn't close and she was the one who sought and added me, then the first phrase I wrote her, "Iris! For some odd reason, in my phonebook there isn't your mobile number..." She laughed and gave it to me. Then (I said something I use to avoid flaky calls) "If I call you tomorrow evening, are you gonna answer?" Generally the response is positive or like "Haha, yes, but after 8 because I'm working."
Next day, I called her. Had a comfortable short chat. After hanging, some WhatsApp messages as well. Next day, we talked by FB Messenger, I asked her to hang out on a bike ride. She replied she was very busy on study (this whole part occurred at midyear) but that we can go out in the break (by then, two weeks later). I answered, fully honest, it was uncertain what I would gonna do these days: then we see.
To summarize, since then to few days ago we talked very little and we saw each other very little at college as well. One good day, that changed. It was intense, a very interesting chat but now the one who's kinda busy was me. Iris began to seek my attention a lot, by messages, inviting or insinuating me to invite her to some place or even my place. I am in fact tied up on work so I tell her to wait about two weeks and then we can go out. She agreed, but...
Iris kept insisting. I gave in: we fixed to two days ago. We got together: in the park at the beggining and then at my place (that include, we weren't alone).
Here start the troubles. Kinda ashamed but facing the truth, I'll tell that since before, during and after the event I had very clear that she was ready to close the deal, hence my biggest discomfort and anger. I didn't ignore a detail about what was happened.
All the time, she was looking for me to make the move (KC), at the park a little but lot more at my home. Kino, warm/friendly/loving phrases, glances, glances to my mouth, pokes, jokes, talking and talking, flattery, staying-not leaving, metioning my bed, throw billions of indirect/direct stuff... all of these is part of the offering Iris gave me. And me... nothing. I read recently "Trust your gut. If you feel a vibe, chances are she does too. Do not give yourself time to second guess. Because second guessing comes from thought. And remember, thought is the cheapest commodity on Earth. Intuition is priceless. Go with it." And he's right: I thought, just thought and then I thought more. More time passed, more thinking, and instead of take the "risk," I imagined it "was late" — learn from me, Late Is When You Are Dead!
Without keep digging in my pride, I tell you so: I have many explanations in which I can say I couldn't close, I can tell her about 'em indeed. But at the end of the day, they're just that, excuses. And here's my deal, I wanna reopen the opportunity, and seal the deal sooner... then I want to make it in the better way, I have ideas, of course all with its cons.
a, tell her that "I'm right now alone in my home... I made a mistake, I'd like you to give me a second chance" without metioning any datail assuming she already know what I'm talking about;
b, tell her the same but highlighting the point "I prefer not to make any excuse... we get together [that] day and see what we do?;"
c, let time go, and just see what happen then (almost certainly we gonna get together casually and I'm not enthusiastic about that); or
d, talk to her about any other stuff (nothing referred to this) and see what she answer (implying that I'm a total dumbass who didn't notice nothing at all).
I have another several variants. I'd really appreciate your opionions. I'll read them. Muchas gracias!