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Thread: Messed up with an older woman

  1. #1
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Messed up with an older woman

    There was an older woman who worked at my apartment complex who I ran into sometime earlier last week. She is not super attractive but I guess not too bad for her age(I'm guessing early to mid fifties). If I had to use the point scale I'd say maybe a 6. So anyway, I see her by accident and we talked. She is in her car. She tells me she is moving. We talked about cats a bit because at one point I was going to get one. She told me her exact apartment number but for some reason I didn't try to make an arrangement to come over. At some point she says she is going to miss me and I say that I will miss her too. After that I give her my cell phone and she puts in her number. She says that we should "hook up."Those are her words not mine. I think she mentioned dinner or drinks or something. I don't know what her intentions were so to help put her at ease I tell her sure we can hang out as friends. I kept using the word friends(at least twice). I also mentioned that we could go dancing. She didn't actually get my number though. Usually I don't give it out because usually they never call me.

    So here's what happens. I text her a day later or so to say hi. She tells me it's a nice day out. Then a day later I leave what is apparently a really weak lame ass phone message(why I don't know). I say something like(I am paraphrasing here): Hello (her name)it's Mike from the apartment complex. I'm just calling to see when I could come over and see your cat. I just want to see your cat. Again this is Mike from the apartment complex. I don't remember what else I said but whatever it was it back fired. My name is Mike but it may as well be Mikey from the movie swingers.

    So the next day I don't hear back from her. The day after that I send a text not addressing the phone call(I decide at the last minute not to). Instead I just say "how was your weekend(day)." I really kind of thought she would respond since she responded to the other text. Again, nothing. This was a few days ago so it's safe to say at this point she has officially blown me off. I'm over it now or at least trying to get over it. I never promised her anything and neither did she. Maybe she just wanted to be friends. Who knows. I'm 99.9 percent sure I can get much younger and hotter women but it doesn't matter. We always seem to want what we can have. I definitely won't call her or text her again but it sucks that I still do dumb stuff like leave lame messages. I think from now on I'll just stick to texting or maybe just hang up if the woman doesn't answer.

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    alphabeta (05-26-2016)

  3. #2
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Hi Bro

    You have really missed an opportunity there, as I also know a Woman who also has a Cat and while I can't say that I think She would make a great Girlfriend, She too is in her 50's and while She is a little bit 'Posh' for want of a better word.

    She is also determined not to grow old gracefully and as such is a bit 'Naughty' and Flirts whenever we meet.

    In another Post of mine, I mentioned that I have Shaved all my hair off (as I was starting to look like a Monk) but now look a real 'Bad Ass' and am starting to act like one to!

    Even though there is a nice guy hiding underneath.

    Keep in mind this Woman has a Cat.

    She reckoned I looked such a 'Bad Ass' that I ought to Audition for the part of a Bad Guy, in a James Bond Movie.

    Then She said, that if I put on a White Suit I could play the part of Bloefeld, to which I replied that's a great idea but only if I can have your 'Pussy' sitting on my lap.

    Which had her in fits of laughter that just wouldn't stop and I know I could have had her if I'd really wanted to and with the benefit of hindsight think maybe I should but it didn't feel right so I didn't.

    So you could have done a similar thing and told your friend you wanted to see her 'Pussy' and then see what She came back with.

    For all you know She may have been a lot more interested than you think.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  4. #3
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Ouch, your follow up game is terrible. You sounded desperate. Announcing yourself as Mike from the complex once was fine, but twice....and then saying you want to see her cat ? Come on man, you knew what she wanted. When I saw you said "I'm just calling to see when I could come over and see your cat. I just want to see your cat"


    That made my dick limp.

  5. #4
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Quote Originally Posted by alphabeta View Post
    Hi Bro

    You have really missed an opportunity there, as I also know a Woman who also has a Cat and while I can't say that I think She would make a great Girlfriend, She too is in her 50's and while She is a little bit 'Posh' for want of a better word.

    She is also determined not to grow old gracefully and as such is a bit 'Naughty' and Flirts whenever we meet.

    In another Post of mine, I mentioned that I have Shaved all my hair off (as I was starting to look like a Monk) but now look a real 'Bad Ass' and am starting to act like one to!

    Even though there is a nice guy hiding underneath.

    Keep in mind this Woman has a Cat.

    She reckoned I looked such a 'Bad Ass' that I ought to Audition for the part of a Bad Guy, in a James Bond Movie.

    Then She said, that if I put on a White Suit I could play the part of Bloefeld, to which I replied that's a great idea but only if I can have your 'Pussy' sitting on my lap.

    Which had her in fits of laughter that just wouldn't stop and I know I could have had her if I'd really wanted to and with the benefit of hindsight think maybe I should but it didn't feel right so I didn't.

    So you could have done a similar thing and told your friend you wanted to see her 'Pussy' and then see what She came back with.

    For all you know She may have been a lot more interested than you think.
    Yeah, the pussy comment is a bold statement. I would say it as "pussy........ca t." Anyway, I did blow it and I don't plan on calling her again. If I do see her again by accident I will wave or maybe say hi but that's about it. Or I could say something like "do you believe in giving people second chances?" However, that last one makes me sound a bit desperate I suppose. It's probably best for me to hit the bars or clubs and just move on. I would really like to meet a woman outside of that environment though. Oh well.

    The thing here is that I realize how I messed up and I am trying to learn from this mistake. If I keep doing it that's one thing but if in the future I keep it cool and don't then that's progress.

  6. #5
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Just let this be, if she gets back in contact with you then that's her way of giving you a second chance, other wise just keep goin. Any action that you take from here will give her more leverage, and weaken your position.

    If you want to meet women out side of clubs and bars, then just go out and be as social as possible. This way you can practice flirting. Practice on every woman you see, and be social with every guy you see. When I buy things if a woman is working the register I try to say something, not too suggestive, but at least have some kind of interaction, and maybe a complement, if nothing else it'll brighten their day, and if they start to flirt back, then I just try to roll with it. The point is if you want to meet more women then go out and meet more women.

  7. #6
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Bars and clubs are ok but I think we all know that's where most guys go to "hit on" women and as a result women's defenses are usually way up in those environments. There is another woman who lives in my apartment complex, who is much younger but I don't have her number and usually only see her when she walks her dog. She's also about a six. Not that it really matters.

  8. #7
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Hi Hands

    The Girls who work on the Checkout at my local Store, are required to ask if you would like a hand to pack your Shopping.

    So with a nice big 'Flirty Smile' I always say 'I've got a much better idea!

    How about you coming round to help me to 'unpack' my Shopping.

    Nothing has come of it so far but I live in hope.(Lol)
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  9. #8
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    I heard one time that a guy got a woman's phone number because she worked at a store and when she asked for his phone number(to put into the system or something)he said to her something like "now that you have my number why don't you give me yours." I can't see that working too much but apparently it did that one time for that one guy.

  10. #9
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike413 View Post
    Bars and clubs are ok but I think we all know that's where most guys go to "hit on" women and as a result women's defenses are usually way up in those environments. There is another woman who lives in my apartment complex, who is much younger but I don't have her number and usually only see her when she walks her dog. She's also about a six. Not that it really matters.
    You're right it could be harder in bars, and clubs, but you can be sure that the women there are there to be social, and to meet people, so you never need to worry if shes interested, you just need to be more interesting then the last guy.

    About the 'Now that you have my number line' it can totally work, I feel that when people discuss these situations, they fail to cover the foundation that was laid inorder to build up to that point. The real work is creating that attraction, once that is established, it doesn't matter what cheese ball lines you use, she'll give you her number, and then some.

    Example: Alot of this is condensed, but the relevent parts are present. There is a girl whom I work with that I've been working on with little success, and then there is another older gal I've hung out with twice now. The older girl clicks alot better with me, because I act like a 16 year old most of the time unless I need to do other wise, and shes the same way. So attraction was already set, shes a really sarcastic girl, and I just play off of that in the most ridiculous manner, and get alot of laughs out of her. We had dinner a week ago, while walking out of the resturant she asked me why I wanted to hang out with an older girl like her(shes 39, I'm 31) I told her I just wanted to 'put it in your butt'(Actual words), to which she giggled, and I put my arms around her and we started talking about more serious stuff. We got to a park and it was getting dark, so we found a nice place and started making out. After kissing her, I looked her straight in the eyes, and said 'I can't wait to have your mouth around my dick'.
    Her jaw dropped, and she said 'Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that!'
    Me: 'Yeah that just happened'
    Her: 'Yeah it did'
    And we both started laughing like idiots, and I pulled her over and started kissing her again, this time things got much hotter.

    The point is once you have the ball rolling, it doesn't matter so much what you say, just how you say it. Since then, she has been initiating convos with me about every day, and we hung out again a few nights ago, and the convos got out of hand again, but each time it led to much better physical chemistry.

    Alphabeta; I would pick one out, and chat her up once or twice, and then drop a line like that and see if you can get a smile out of her, if she likes it, you can probably get her number, or maybe a date. I've never had any luck with throwing random lines out there, with complete strangers I feel there has to be enough rapport to get you past their social barriers.

  11. #10
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up with an older woman

    I can all but guarantee that if I were to say "I can't wait to have your lips around my dick" to a woman I just met in a club I would either get thrown out, slapped or even worse(maybe even arrested for sexual assault). But I get your point. You had rapport built and in that context you could get away with it. It's very alpha but it isn't something you can do right away(unless you are Mystery or someone). I don't think most guys could pull that off unless they are on a bed with the girl. Good for you for being able to get away with it.

    I remember I was in a bar a long time ago and a guy next to me tried to pull up a woman's shirt to see her underwear or something. She didn't know him so needless to say she complained and he was tossed out. The guy was probably a bit drunk but still. However, I couldn't help but think if the two of them were friends or knew each other really well she might have only told him to stop and not have him thrown out. It's all about context like you said. Or what if one of her girlfriends did that? No way would she have been thrown out. Since she didn't know the guy it was creepy but the same thing could have been interpreted by her as playful if she knew the person doing it(not necessarily but I'm pretty sure).


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