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  1. #1
    backinthegame91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    Okay, obvious puns about the thread title and dick size aside, after having a great drinks date with a girl I met off Tinder, we go back to my apartment and screw, there's like an awkwardness afterwards as we're cuddling. I tell her she can stay over if she wants, but I have to be somewhere at 10am. She tells me she doesn't want to be rude, but she'd rather head back to her apartment. So I walk her back to the subway and kiss her goodnight, a good kiss btw.

    The next time I ask her out (a few days later), she tells me quite nicely that she's not feeling it between us but had great conversation with me and would like to be friends.

    She seemed pretty nice and open with me, so I decided to ask for more details. She specifically said that during sex, she just didn't feel a connection with me. I asked if I wasn't rough enough, or didn't last long enough etc, and she reiterated that I didn't do anything incorrectly, she just didn't feel a connection. She told me she felt awkward afterward because she knew there wasn't a connection.

    Details: Sex lasted probably 6 or 7 minutes. I had a bit of whiskey dick at first, but she fixed that after a few seconds of work. We did some foreplay before hand for a few minutes. She did not orgasm, but she seemed to be enjoying the ride (perhaps I was wrong) and also may have been close.

    What would you guys do to make a gal feel a connection? Can anyone offer any tips or interpretations? I think that's her way of saying "You're bad in bed and I can't help you" lol. I probably should have eaten the box lol.

  2. #2
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    Sex and then possible friendship. I think this is what most guys dream of. Then again we always seem to want what we can't have huh?

    Anyway, you need to do a lot of foreplay and there has to be some playful teasing and lots of kissing before the actual intercourse. Maybe you just weren't romantic or sexy enough. Was this a One Night Stand or did you date her for a while first?

    When you asked her those questions it made you appear needy and approval seeking and if the sex didn't do it for her I'd say you ruined any chances of a possible romantic or friends with benefits relationship after asking her what you might have done wrong.

  3. #3
    flyguyinMN is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    I dunno, maybe she just didn't feel a connection during sex?

    I know I have had sex many times where I didn't feel that "loving connection" which as a man doesn't mean much to me, but for some women it is the entire reason for "making love".

  4. #4
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    While you are doing it with her you want to say things like "how do you like that?"Do you enjoy this?"etc.

  5. #5
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    Hi Backinthegame

    What I would call really nice girls don't do one night stands, although I know that some of them are able to be persuadesd, after a few drinks.

    From a girls perspective She ideally want to fall head over heals in Love with a guy before Sex but in the digital age in which we live with things like 'Tinder' and 'Facebook' things tend to move a lot faster than they ever did before, which can put girls under pressure to get it on with a guy, much sooner than they may feel comfortable with.

    But generally speaking its hard for a girl to try and fall in love with a guy, if she feels that he's just after sex, as they would much prefer it if they were taken on some sort of a romantic journey, where they could finally give themselves to that guy, which is the Total opposite of a One Night Stand.

    So I would suggest you experiment with the more romantic option, of taking a girl out to dinner or for a drive in the Car, where you don't initially go any further than kissing, unless of course she gets so turned on that she makes it very obvious that she wants to go all the way.

    Though ideally get to know her and romance her first, so she doesn't get the impression that you are only after one thing and give her a little gift like a box of Chocolates, as girls really dig that kind of shit and think that you care. (regardless of whether you actually do or you don't)

    If you don't last very long in bed, then it is very important to spend a long time on foreplay of about an hour, then when you actually do the deed, she will take the time you spent both on foreplay and sex and then combine the whole experience together in her head.

    Where She will convince herself that you made love for hours (not seven minutes) the reason being that's what She wants to believe.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  6. #6
    LA.OC.Skater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    WOW. First of all, 6 or 7 minutes. I am in my 50's. But in my 30's, copulation would take one hour. Well, 45 minutes to an hour. And the woman is always made to cum. You are not doing you job if she does not. I mean, oral, fingering, and intercourse. Dude, make it happen. Even now, sex, overall can last 2 hours. Playing teasing, spanking, fingering, massaging, intercourse. Sex is a banquet, not a small order of McNuggets. You got her to bed. Now learn to make her to want to come back.

  7. #7
    jojo_flores is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She didn't feel a connection during sex (FRIEND ZONED)

    what LA.OC.Skater said. youre not doing your job bro. If you did cum early (which happens) strap up again and go for a second round until shes fulfilled. Now to the matter at hand, maybe she just wanted a One Night Stand? Just be happy you got laid off Tinder, and that she just wants to be friends. Move on. Dont dwell on this.


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