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Thread: I NEED HELP

  1. #1
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default I NEED HELP

    ok so i have been talking to this 20 year old girl for a little while now and i have been making her fall harder and harder for me but now it hit a brick wall and i need help on how to evade this now and not have it come up in the future.
    Ok so i met this girl at an event my company was holding and i found her very attractive about HB 8 and i decided i would open her situationally and then neg her a little bit. Well perfect thing happened, the night before she had went out and did some funny stuff when she was really drunk and my friend got it on video. Perfect way to tease her playfully and get into conversation. While after talking for a little i needed to get to work but i also found out she doesnt live in the same state as me so i just thought. ok lost cause. So after a couple of weeks i saw that she commented on one of my friends status and i decided to open her again and ended up # closing with her and moved straight to texting and some facebook but not much at all.
    So after talking to her and getting to know her, she wanted me to come out and see her. She lives nine hours from me driving. So i thought about it and thought hey i like this girl, why dont i see whether or not i could maybe date her. Needless to say, i had been talking to tons of girls but for some reason she caught my eye and i thought about her more than any other girl. i know this is a case of oneidis but i also know if we cant do this i can give her up.

    So i went and saw her for a weekend and she stayed in the hotel with me and i had one of the best weekends i ever had. But i kept in mind to not be an AFC but i also didnt want to be just a PUA. I was doing me but with improvements on inner game basically. So after all this i had started talking to her and she said stuff like i dont want to rush things but im sure we can make this work long distance and i cant wait for the day i call you my boyfriend. I basically have this girl head over heels for me.

    Heres the problem, she has been worried about the long distance thing and she was worried about the way i was before i talked to her. Stuff like picking up lots of women and stuff like that. She said she had never dated a player and i said im not a player i just didnt want to be a guy girls walk over. So basically last night she talked to her cousin girlfriend (who she is really close with) and they had a long talk. Oh and i know her cousins girlfriend, Girl O, very well and we are friends. So they ended up talking and this girl was thinking she couldnt do the long distance thing and wasnt sure and the entire time girl o defended me and said that i am a good guy and it wont be hard to do LD with a guy like me.

    So i need help with how to go about this. i sent her a message earlier explaining my thoughts while also trying not to seem needy or anything but actually being indifferent and showing that if it doesnt work out i can let go. my text said this..

    ME: Hey i didnt sound ok earlier on the phone cause i wasnt. I am just feeling the more we get into this the more worries that come up. The other day you said you still had some walls up cause your worried about your past with guys and then you also were worried about the way i was before i started talking to you. I understand what you meant cause i would be worried also if you saud the same thing. But i stopped talking to them and drove nine hours to get to know you. I wouldnt be doing that once let alone twice if i wasnt sure of the person you are. So what im basically saying is that after all these talks and stuff that im starting to worry that you just arent sure of things and are afraid of this. i can understand that cause something like this is scary. But im starting to worry that you would give because of other peoples thoughts or your exes rather than the stuff that happens between us. I dont want to have to worry about stuff like other peoples thoughts affecting what happens between us.
    Her: Well all that makes sense. - i saw that she wrote a short message and wasnt sure whether its cause she was at work or because she didnt have much to say so i mirrored her-
    Me: IDK..Are you sure about doing all of this and trying long distance again?!?
    Her: Well im just going to say everything that girl o said last night was all standing up for you and trying to prove to me i shouldnt be scared and i honestly dont know if i can do the long distance thing.
    Me: ___ i really like you but maybe this just isnt the right time if you arent sure you can do it.
    Her: well i dunno...
    Me: I have to go ill ttyl.
    Her: K

    mean i think i did good and i showed that im not needy or clingy and that i can let go if need be but i like this chick and just need help how to get her to put down her resistance and just let stuff happen.

    PLEASE HELP. AND TRY TO KEEP OUT THE ONEIDIS TALK. i can get over her, but she is different and i want to date her.

  2. #2
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    She sounds like she got pretty beat up emotionally in a previous relationship. I know how that feels, and the only way to get through it is to build trust and prove your honesty. If she is worried about you being a player and you really like this girl to the point that you want to be in a relationship with her then you need to be willing to give that part of you up. Not the inner game stuff, but the game and closing part. And don’t think that this is an AFC statement cause everyone gets onto the game for different reason: there are the ones that are looking for nothing more than to get laid, but then you have the ones that are looking for that perfect woman and use the game to give them confidence to approach and attract that woman. Don’t think of yourself as having oneidis if this is the category you fall into. You might have just met the right one. Trick is to keep your frame strong and don’t let her take that from you. If you do that your golden.

    As for what to do or say: all I can tell you is to be honest with her 100%, and in doing so you will build trust. You have people going to bat for you and that’s good. Sounds like its just gonna take some time. Just make sure it doesn’t fall into the friends zone.

  3. #3
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    thanks tcomea2. that is the exact i joined the community. I didnt use it for getting laid. I used it to get the women i want to be with. But thanks for letting me know im doing good. Honesty is what i have been doing. Right now we are talking and she is taking some time to think about what she wants to say. I guess ill have to keep a strong frame, be honest, and get her not to give up. Im sure with the work i put into it and the people helping me, that this will work out but building trust and getting rid of her fears is the biggest thing. thanks man. your a big help

  4. #4
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    No problem dude. Best of luck.

    Stay strong and smart!

  5. #5
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    no doubt. i told her what i was thinking and was completely honest and kept a good frame and didnt break down to AFC status. looks like i evaded this disater. just going to step back and take it slower.

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    lol now that i read over my post..my god i sounded a little or almost full AFC status. Shit. I need to calm down and think. haha but thanks for helping keep my head straight when i thought almost all was lost. Yeah just seeing how this girl reacts and how she can speak her mind and not let this stuff phase her. I like this HB 8. I think from now on im just going to play it cool but do a few PUA things just to make sure i stay alpha in her mind, to keep her wanting me, to dhv, to build sexual tension, rapport, comfort and overall make this girl mine.

    thanks, i knew after all the advice i have given, i would get help one of these times when a girl had me worried like a freaking AFC. ps by the way. not happening again

  7. #7
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    Lmao no problem crob. You were just over thinking it. And we both know that is a comman problem. Just need to have someone point it out that's all.

  8. #8
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    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    over thinking is something that most guys do far to much of... and guys who are bad boys.. pretty much never over think and have tremendous success with women...

  9. #9
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    lol yeah they do. but luckily because of this site, the game, and other resources. I have went from an AFC about 7 months ago. to a pretty good PUA now. Just need to stop overthinking. lol thats funny i had all these girls and fuck closed and stuff all the time but when it comes to a girl i actually liked since i learned this stuff, bam kind of overthink it. Well now i know what to do next time.

    thanks bill this site is absolutely amazing.

  10. #10
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I NEED HELP

    yeah but exactly that home boy. you dont seem like you worked hard to make a work. i can care less. I have life to do whatever. and if it doesnt work, there is tons of clubs downtown with plenty of hot women. my game is hard and i have no problems. But we both have different reasons. you use pick up for sex obviously, im using it to get the girl i want. So say what you want but tons of people fail long distance just like people who fail losing weight. they dont work and care enough.


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