I've been reading the forum for a few weeks now and just last night I've had my first infield experience, well, ever. I never used to be into the bar/club scene, and my friends invited me to a 4 times a year dance event at a venue.
The place had a large ballroom dance floor and stairs leading to a balcony above. As we entered, I had taken a 4 hour energy shot and a few drinks before hand so I was feeling pretty good. It was still early in the night and people were still showing up. As we walked through the dance floor to head up to the balcony, I made sure to lightly brush up against any attractive women I walked by. By the time I got up to the balcony, I could see a few girls looking my way - then looking at each other, it was great!
Anyway, at this point an hour or so went by and the dance floor was getting packed. My friends were still lingering around just looking at the dance floor from above and I decided it was time to make a move. I go down to the dance floor and see a set of two girls - one was a 9 and the other was probably a 5 - and I start dancing near them. I made eye contact with the 9, smiled, and began dancing with her. This literally was the first girl I've ever approached on a dance floor, haha. Anyway, I talk a little bit with her, she gives me the 'i have a boyfriend' line and said her and her friend are going to grab drinks. At that point, I figured whatever, they're probably not coming back - time to move on.
-I think I was too enthusiastic and displaying too much energy. The exchange was a little bit awkward as I pussied out and didn't touch either of these girls at all during the dance/talk.
-Safe convos. I asked the dreaded 'interview' questions and talked a bit about the event we were in etc. The Vibe was good, I think if I just touched them things would've gotten a bit better.
-The 'boyfriend' line.. Would saying something witty like 'oh look at you flattering yourself assuming I'm trying to pick you up. Don't get your hopes up, I'm just looking to dance' work? Then again, I saw her and her friend basically dancing by themselves the whole night so either she does have a bf or her looks were intimidating and other guys didn't approach her.
I move to a new area and start dancing by myself when two girls - a 7 and an 8 - come up and start talking/dancing with me. This time, I was alot more touchy with these girls - I placed an arm around each whenever i'd lean in to listen or say something. This exchange was going fairly well and I was more comedic than with the first set. Still, I basically went with the interview questions 'you from around here?' etc etc. Again, vibe was good, I felt completely natural and not nervous/awkward at all. The girls were laughing and having a good time, i think again I was giving off too much energy/enthusiasm though. Anyway, this interaction was cut short when their boyfriends pulled them away by the arms =/.
Lastly, 30 minutes left until the venue closes, I'm outside smoking a cig when two latinas come up to me - a 7 and 8 - and say 'we've been watching you all night and have been dying to talk to you!'. We tease around a bit, we go inside, get drinks, and the whole time I have my arms around these two girls, teasing them, kissing them on the heads when I bust on them, etc. We get on the dance floor and both start grinding on me hardcore. The one in front then turns around and we have a make out session. Afterwards, we danced a bit, but they both bailed and started dancing with other guys - no Number Close.
- Too much interest, energy, enthusiasm
- I felt like I was trying to seek approval with some of the way the conversations panned out. For example, they're both from Mexico and I said I've always wanted to go to the Yucatan and they were like 'no no you should visit <enter city name here which I cant remember> that's where we're from'. Instead of being cocky and assertive I said 'alright ill take your word for it, you two can be my tour guides'.
I'm very new to this but none of the blow offs let me down at all... I've actually been succumbing to online dating due to my initial Approach Anxiety and after last night I realized wow, not only is it not that bad and are girls much more receptive than expected... But it's fun too regardless of how things turned out. I said to myself 'no expectations' and truly enjoyed myself last night, not letting anything get me down. I still have alot to learn, but are the mistakes I listed fairly accurate or am I overanalyzing my performance too much?
Jeeze, sorry for the length of the post!