The in-field sarge was daunting to myself, given that Approach Anxiety (aa) kicks in and binds my whole body down.
My fellow sargers seem to have limited AA and head on in and Number Close with the direct approach.
I am numbed and start criticizing myself and I go deeper and deeper down in misery. My physiology starts to reflect this. Then I think of 2 tips to overcoming AA, 1) open guys first and realize that AA is in your head, 2) give your wing $100 dollars and every time you open a set he returns $10, if you use the direct approach then he gives back $20.
I choose to go with the second option. At first it feels like shit, I lose money to my wing. Then I open a set and then go indirect, gain $10 and lose $10 for not going direct. Open another, and another.
Then I confess that I haven't been going direct, he points me towards an HB. Let's call her HBabc. HB, American Born Chinese
HBabc walks by. She is by herself so I decide to go direct. I open:
Me: Hey, I was standing their with my friends, and I saw you walking across and I thought I'd kick myself if I didn't say hi, you're really pretty (Grounding)
HBabc: Oh thanks. (Starts preening her hair, IOI)
Me: (Implanting a false-statement to force her to go into A3) You seem like you just came back from work (She looked like a university aged)
HBabc: No, I just blah blah blah
Me: Oh, you have a slight accent are you from England? (False-statement to force her to speak)
HBabc: No, I'm from the US...
Me: Hey, that's cool, it's been nice talking to you I have to head back to my friends. Give me your number!
HBabc: actually, I'm going back to the states tomorrow, I have Facebook (smiling)
Me: Oh really, that sucks. It does. Here write it down (hand over pen and paper)
The problem with this set was that once I got her number I ejected, whilst I should have spent more time with her afterwards so as to not give her the impression that I was just there for her number.
I feel ecstatic and my wing hands me $50 as a reward. This feels fantastic, immediate reward. Much much better than getting the number alone, to be honest. Because getting the number doesn't guarantee a day 2 or a full close, immediate reward and punishment helps ALOT!.
Next, I enter a bookstore. My friends and I meet up at a bookstore, we're standing next to the "relationship" section. We fluff talk for a bit and they leave.
Whilst we were talking I noticed this HB near the relationship section and I decide to stay.
After genuinely browsing to look for a book about female sexuality, I ask her:
Me: Hey, do you know of a book that talks about female sexuality?
She stutters a bit by my directness. In Asian cultures, directness about sex b/w strangers is awkward.
HBDancer: Umm..maybe here (points towards books like karma sutra etc.)
Me: oh ok (I look through that section for 30 seconds, don't talk to her, don't know what to say)..well not these... By the way, your hair is nice, is that a wig?(neg)
HBDancer: No, it's real
Me: ok, I am looking for something that chronicles the female perspective relationships.
HBDancer: Hmmm....I'm not too sure (Body language seems closed)
Me: Well, ok.. what do you have to recommend? (Mirror her body language)
HBDancer: What about this "Why men love bitches"
Me: No, I want the female perspective on relationships, not how to get men for females. I know what's attractive to guys, I AM ONE!
HBDancer: Are you doing research or something?
Me: No, I have a personal interest in psychology (DHV)
HBDancer: Ok, what about this...
Me: What do you do?
HBDancer: I'm a dancer
Me: Oh cool. (Qualify her, provides balance for the neg??)
HBDancer: You're a student right?
Me: Yes, I study at XXX (DHV, kinda of like the Harvard of Asia) in their business faculty (DHV, most prestigious faculty)
HBDancer: Which year do you study? (IOI?)
Me: Year 3. (Shit, I should have made her jump through my hoops!!!)
HBDancer: Hey, I gotta go find my friends but you seem like a cool person, give me your e-mail and we should talk more about this subject...
Me: Oh ok...(fills in e-mail)
I leave, shit I didn't time-bridge!!
Suggestions from debriefing:
1) Could've asked HBDancer's number. Simply when she is writing her e-mail I go, hey write down your number as well.
2) Time-bridge with HBDancer, but even if you didn't it's fine. Do something on the e-mail
3) Don't ask for her number until the 4th e-mail, otherwise you shall seem needy
4) Stay behind to fluff a bit so that it doesn't seem like you're there for the number only
There seemed to be not much attraction with HBDancer, simply comfort gotta move this future and set up a day 2!!
Please keep in mind that these 2 closes took place with 4-5 burned sets until I got comfortable.
Comments greatly appreciated!!