Lots of times we like to post the pick-ups that go without a hitch, but I think we can learn a lot more from the mistakes we make. Last night I had a pick-up that didn't go the way I wanted, because I misread a few of the details. I wanted to share it with everyone here, so they can benefit from it.
This girl had been a childhood friend way back when I was a little kid. Through the years, we have kind of kept in touch on Facebook and such, but we really never talked much. I met her again at a mutual friend's wedding. We were both bored, so I figured, "What the heck" and I started running game on her (I hadn't talked to her in over a year). She responded really well, and pretty soon she asked for my number. I had already established quite a bit of Kino. After the wedding, we both went our separate ways and I forgot about her. About two weeks ago, she texted me out of the blue and started chatting with me. I started using text game to build more attraction and set a somewhat sexual frame. My first mistake was not definitively set a sexual context. I only partially established that frame. Then last week she tells me she wants to come see me. She lives about an hour and a half away. We eventually settled for her coming over and spending the night (on my couch), for last night. Then her car broke down. Eventually, she found the problem, got it fixed and ended up showing up really late. (This didn't help with her mood, and also really limited the number of things we could do in my area)
She knocks at the door, and I come and greet her, giving her a big hug and a quick peck on the cheek. Immediately establish kino so I can set an early frame that will help me escalate to sex. She comes in, and I put my arm around her, and tell her I'll give her the 5 cent tour. I guide her through my house, showing her the different rooms and such, and apologize for it being a little messy (even though I had it pretty clean. I like to do this because it gets you extra points for being neat and clean). Then I set her down on the couch and we talk for a couple minutes. She still isn't 100% comfortable, so I suggest that we go for a walk and talk. It was raining a little so it was even better. I do some of my best work while on walks. As we are walking, I playfully push her into a puddles and such. Then when she tries to push me back into a puddle, I use it as an excuse to take her hand so she can't shove me into one. She is very responsive. Soon I have my arm low around her waist and she is reciprocating. I kiss her a few times on the cheek, but never get her to allow me to kiss her on the lips, she always starts to turn away when I set it up.
By the time we get back to my place, she is being more flirtatious, but it is really late. We decide to watch a movie. As soon as it is going, I tell her she has to share the big chair because it is the only comfortable one (by design). She is cool with that and she rests her head on my arm. She takes my hand in hers, and she starts tickling me and playing footsie. However, I could never escalate past this point. She would always resist, so I would back down, then come back and try again, only to get more resistance. That's where the night ended. She slept on the couch and I slept in my bed.
In my defense, I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open, I was so tired, and so that didn't help me think on my feet. Still I made a bunch of dumb mistakes. My biggest mistake was that I didn't establish a sexual frame, or enough sexual Tension. I expected her to arrive earlier, and I was planning on going out on the town for a bit, and leading into that. I assumed, from our texts that she was more attracted to me than she was. This miss-read cost me. Instead of working on getting that sexual tension, and building deeper attraction, I kept it too light and flirtatious. I didn't qualify her enough either. The end result was that due to that one big mistake, she was thinking potential boyfriend, traditional slow progression relationship, and I was thinking same night lay.
The night wasn't a total failure. We both had a lot of fun, and I didn't hurt myself too much. She was and is definitely into me, but I just didn't play the cards I was dealt. Another thing is that she is pretty conservative, which meant I needed to establish more attraction before I could f-close her. Basically I made a bunch of AFC mistakes. I have been doing really well lately, and I got a little cocky, and I didn't play by the rules.
Anyhow, I hope my mistakes help the rest of you. I welcome further observations or comments.