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  1. #1
    Sporty Guest

    Default Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Figured skipping to the end of the field report would at least get attention, even if there's no sex in the story lol.

    Went out at about 930 to meet up with my buddy Drive at a local country bar (not my usual scene, but y not). He showed up with his gf (an HB9 dancer) and her coworker (HB7 dancer). I got there before he did, and went to hang out with the DJ for a minute (old friend) , rather than sit alone at the bar. He got there and made the introductions, and I basically ignored HB7. During the night, I was up to my usual pranks with Drive, including grabbing his phone and texting a 60-yr old (and def plus size) friend of his at the bar that he wanted to dance, then grabbed HB7's camera, pulled her on to the dance floor to snap a pic of him dancing with the 60 yr old.

    Drive's friend Hoss showed up, and we ended up chatting for about a half hour waiting to see if any decent sets would show up. Overall, there was only one set worth opening (two HB8 college girls), but I chickened out on that one. Hoss and I went to the bar next door, where a metal band was playing. I was totally out of my element, dressed in a polo, jeans, and boots. Hoss made fun of how I was dressed, and I used that to open an HB10 18-yr-old sitting next to me, saying "it's ok, some of us don't need to be conformists." She laughed, and I asked why she was there totally looking bored. She said it wasnt really her scene either, and I suggested we go to the country bar. She said she wasn't old enough (21+ next door). I first pretended to not believe she was that young, and then ran the jealous gf opener using Hoss as the guy with the jealous gf. Then I cut her off mid sentence and turned back to Hoss and a couple of his friends. About ten minutes later, I took her hands and turned her to take her seat. Then I laughed, got up, and said since you're up, come next door, I'll say you're my DD. She was on her way out with me and Hoss, and the mother hen of the group stepped in and said they were leaving so she needed to go with them. (Any ideas how I could get around that one? I had only had 10 minutes to build comfort, and it wasn't enough to get her to leave her group).

    Hoss and I went back to the country bar, where I talked to HB7 stripper a bit. Used a couple of tricks (invisible card trick), turned her to take her seat, danced with her, and then went back to hang out. At last call, she said she wasnt done and suggested we all go to the club where she danced. Drive and his gf were ready to go home, and Hoss had already left. HB7 said she could go if I would bring her and then bring her back to Drive's gfs house later. We went to her club, where she hadnt worked in about 3 wks. We talked with her friends, with her arm around my waist the whole time. At closing, she got on stage and gave me a private show. Then she said lets go, and I told her Drives gf lived too far away because I had had a few. We went back to her place, and then it went to shit.

    She decided we should go to her sister's who lived upstairs, who had about 5 loser friends over who were all drunk and high (I don't use so that tends to be a turnoff). After an hour of tolerating that shit, I told her I was going down to her place to crash, and she came with me. Thought I might still hook up, even though as a 7 she was definitely under what I usually mess with (my fbuddy is a HB 8 or 9, depending). She changed to a t-shirt and pj pants, and I stripped down to my boxers (I've got a pretty decent body so that usually helps), but she just cuddled up against me and went to sleep, stopping the couple of times I tried to heat things up.

    It's not a big deal that I didn't end up hooking up, since she was a little under my standards, but I'm curious if anyone has any ideas how I could have either worked the HB10 better or f-closed the HB7.

  2. #2
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    nik
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    ... At last call, she said she wasnt done and suggested we all go to the club where she danced. ... (1)At closing, she got on stage and gave me a private show. Then she said lets go, and I told her Drives gf lived too far away because I had had a few. We went back to her place, and then it went to shit.
    1. The private show was a test. How did you react to her dance? Who else was present?

    If you find yourself in that situation again, you may consider this a good option:
    When she goes to give you a private dance, stop her and tell her you'll get it later. Then, leave. I'll get into exotic dancer psychology later.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    (2)She decided we should go to her sister's who lived upstairs, who had about 5 loser friends over who were all drunk and high (I don't use so that tends to be a turnoff). (3)After an hour of tolerating that shit, I told her I was going down to her place to crash, and she came with me. ... She changed to a t-shirt and pj pants, and I stripped down to my boxers (I've got a pretty decent body so that usually helps), but she just cuddled up against me and went to sleep, stopping the couple of times I tried to heat things up.
    2. It seems like she is making the big decisions. If she is an exotic dancer, she is used to weak guys eating out of the palm of her hand. She even took you to the place where she knew she was in control and had help if she started to lose it. To get an exotic dancer, you have to be different. She treated you like a customer, you acquiesced, and you got what customers get.

    3. Again, you put yourself in a position of weakness. I'm sure she could read your disgust, but when you didn't say anything at first, she knew you were not up to par. Fortunately, you eventually stood up for yourself and made a decison. One that she followed. Good job.


    Exotic Dancer Psychology:
    Most women find taking their clothes off in front of a man, especially, one they just met, a big deal. They need a certain level of security (or enough alcohol to fill the void) and passion. It is a very large step in the evolution of a relationship (even a very short one). They know how powerful their body is, even though that's when they feel the most vulnberable. When they do take their clothes off, it means something to them and they need to believe it to means something to you (other than you're getting some).
    Exotic dancers do not have these defense mechanisms in place. They take their clothes off in front of strangers regularly. It is all about money, not security, passion, and sex. It's just business. When an exotic dancer does get with a guy, it is usually someone they will never see again (disassociated with the familiar), for money, or with someone they feel is likely going to have a serious relationship with them. You met her through a mutual known party, you can't be the disassociation. When they have sex with someone they will likely see agian, it means much more than when most women have sex with you (which, in itself, means much more to them than you).

    However, exotic dancers do know some "maneuvers" that are AWESOME. There are also some that don't feel as good in practice as you thought they would in theory or when you saw them done on a stage.

    You are going to have to create the illusion of a willingness to make a serious relationship with this woman to get her to sleep with you. It's not your fault if it doens't work out. Exotic dancers do not see the best side of men and many of them have stronger defense mechanisms in place in regards to a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    It's not a big deal that I didn't end up hooking up, since she was a little under my standards...
    Thios sounds like a way to make yourself feel better. You can use this attitude when she is mounting you and you stop her. She stopped you. You get no points

    You're right, it's not a big deal, but not for the reason you claim.
    Last edited by nik; 11-14-2010 at 10:56 PM.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  3. #3
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    all i have to say is WOW. that was one hell of a post. good job. REP +++++
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  4. #4
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    nik
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Quote Originally Posted by crobinson1 View Post
    all i have to say is WOW. that was one hell of a post. good job. REP +++++
    Thank you!
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  5. #5
    Sporty Guest

    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Nik,

    I appreciate the response. While I don't think my last point about not being disappointed that I didn't hook up with her was to make myself feel better, I should have been more clear. What bothered me about not f-closing her wasn't that I wanted to hook up with her, but that I felt like I played the earlier parts of the evening right and somehow dropped the ball after getting back to her place (something I can say I'm not accustomed to).

    Your points totally make sense, and are typical of the flaw in my game - transitioning from cocky-funny and DHVing to "letting" them have success hitting on me. In this case, you're 100% right now that I see it - I was running solid game on her at the bar, then acted like an AFC when we got back to her place and started following her.

    As to whether I'd pursue it any further, probably not. However, I appreciate the insight on the philosophy.

    Since you explained that one so well, any thoughts on the only real target I had that night (HB10 college girl)? Was there any way to bounce her in such a short period of time, or was I just too late getting there?

  6. #6
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Nik great post dude. Leave it to a cop to know how to deal with strippers lol

    You seem to know how to work with hired hands, can you put together a post explaining some of that. I know personally that i am not good with them at all and would really like to hear what you have to say on it.

    REP++

  7. #7
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    i agree. it would be great to get a post about that
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  8. #8
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    Hoss and I went to the bar next door, where a metal band was playing. (1)I was totally out of my element, (2)dressed in a polo, jeans, and boots. Hoss made fun of how I was dressed, and I used that to open an HB10 18-yr-old sitting next to me, (3)saying "it's ok, some of us don't need to be conformists." (4)She laughed, and I asked why she was there totally looking bored. She said it wasn't really her scene either, and I suggested we go to the country bar. She said she wasn't old enough (21+ next door). I first pretended to not believe she was that young, and then ran the jealous gf opener using Hoss as the guy with the jealous gf. Then I cut her off mid sentence and turned back to Hoss and a couple of his friends. About ten minutes later, I took her hands and turned her to take her seat. Then I laughed, got up, and said since you're up, come next door, I'll say you're my DD. She was on her way out with me and Hoss, and the mother hen of the group stepped in and said they were leaving so she needed to go with them. (5)(Any ideas how I could get around that one? I had only had 10 minutes to build comfort, and it wasn't enough to get her to leave her group).
    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    Since you explained that one so well, any thoughts on the only real target I had that night (HB10 college girl)? Was there any way to bounce her in such a short period of time, or was I just too late getting there?
    1. I would be willing to bet you looked uncomfortable. While women are happy to trade their reality for an opportunity to be in your petter perceived better one, they will not trade it for your uncomfortable, awkward, out of place one.

    2. What you wear has very little bearing on anything more than how it makes you feel when you are out at bars. How you feel in an outfit will extrapolate how you look.

    3. Was she wearing clothes that fit the atmosphere? Was she looking at you strangely before you spoke to her? I think the opener was bad. Why would she care? She hasn't invested any interest in you or your clothing. Assuming people care is a great way to exhibit your high level of self-confidence, but it doesn't work when you look like you feel out of place. It's like a person who is trembling while getting aboard a roller coaster telling you they aren't scared of roller coasters. They just look like a lying, chicken-shit fool. You can't tell her you don't need to be a conformist when you look uncomfortable being different.

    4. This topic would have been a much better opener. Everyone's favorite subject is themselves. Start with her and get her attention. Talk about you too early and she has no reason to care.

    5. You tried to take a young woman, who was most likely the youngest in the group, away from her friends without speaking to any of her friends? Good on her friends for looking out for her. Two guys come in, at least one looks out of place, find a bored 18 year old, try to seduce her and get her to leave without her friends knowing anything about them. Creepy.

    However, what if you did this:
    Two guys come in, at least one looks out of place. They start talking to various people throughout the bar and look like they are having a great time. They find a group of people and make quick friends with them. In the group is an 18 year old woman who was bored, but now is having a great time with these two new guys who "totally saved the night". The whole group goes with the guys to a country bar. At the country bar, the two guys introduce the group to a couple of good looking female friends of theirs...


    A woman who really want s to leave with you will (a)introduce you to her friends and (b)find a way to leave with you, friends be damned.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporty View Post
    Nik,

    I appreciate the response.
    You're welcome!
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  9. #9
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    Quote Originally Posted by tcomea2 View Post
    Nik great post dude. Leave it to a cop to know how to deal with strippers lol

    You seem to know how to work with hired hands, can you put together a post explaining some of that. I know personally that i am not good with them at all and would really like to hear what you have to say on it.

    REP++
    Sure. I am on my way to work, now. I'll try to get to it tomorrow.
    Thanks for the comments!
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  10. #10
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woke up at noon in bed with the stripper ...

    nik. i see u being a very excellent PUA within the next three months or so. like a complete killer. if u are able to put in place some of the theory you have then i am going to like hearing your responses on this forum and look forward to reading them. good job.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest


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