New over here on PUAforums. Rather than introduce myself I thought I would share this tale with all you kind folk! I posted this up on some other forums and people seem to enjoy the good read!
Hopefully some guys out there can take some warnings and advice from this.
And the conclusion of this story happened about a month ago, so this shit is still kinda fresh!
How NOT to play The Game.
I’ve just come off the phone. A girl that has plagued my very being for months has just broken my heart. And I can think of nothing better to do than type out my story on here. My hope that someone out there can read this and heed the warnings is what’s making my fingers do this.
When I met her I was in the biggest winning streak of my life…truly becoming a pick up artist. She was going to be greatest success story…and the way I played it with her was text book to a point…to a sticking point that is. So read on brother, read it. Evaluate it. Compare it with your situation. Do what needs to be done, because this hurts like a mother-fucker. And we don’t want you feeling like this do we?
END OF JUNE- It Begins.
Enter subject in question. It was a hot summers day…blah fuck this descriptive bullshit…it was an ordinary day. At work. In a video game shop. Already some people read that as a major DLV. And y’know what, it usually is, but not with her. Lets call her ‘Kat’ (Not the most imaginative of pseudonyms I admit) Throw an ‘E’ in there and you’ll work it out.
Kat stood in the aisle of the shop, looking ridiculous. Her incredibly beautiful self standing out like a Nun in a brothel amongst the usual sweaty, teenage, achne faced, glass wearing, social fearing, wash neglecting clientele.
I’d just come back off of my lunch, walked in the shop and there she was…my work pal Cray had already clocked her, licking his lips with the menace of a wolf about to pounce.
“Fucking hell mate, FACE!” Whispered Cray.
Face is a rather terrible code amongst the employees translating as “Would you kindly look at the remarkable specimen of a woman in the vicinity” Or something.
This is where learning the Mystery Method really earned its stripes for me. Everything I had read pretty much flew into my brain, I was ready to approach. Until that is, I saw her walking over to ME. The butterflies started flapping their wings, I stood firm and as if possessed by Samuel. L. Jackson I let the words commeth.
“You alright there?” Casual enough.
“Have you played this?” She holds up Lost Planet II.
“Yeah, it’s god awful!” Lie, I hadn’t played it. But in order to keep conversation flowing I had to bullshit.
“The first one was terrible too!” I exclaimed. See, look there’s an exclamation mark.
“What! No it wasn’t, it was wicked!” What? This HB-fucking-10 plays video games. My world changed forever that moment.
“No way, it was slow and clunky…I just remember fighting that big wormy thing!” The fact that I didn’t go and agree with her is Game 101. It shows to her on the most basic level that I’m not a push over. And that she isn’t a rarity. She was a rarity.
“Yeah that worm thing! I remember that too!” She talked to me for about 3 minutes in total about Gears of War…Assassins Creed…Metal Gear…these were things I loved. These things I had buried deep inside when I decided to turn my life around and become a P.U.A. And she was talking about them with as much gusto as I was.
With my manager watching me I couldn’t ask for her number, some breach of code or some shit, so I let her leave. Damn.
“Mate are you alright? Do you wanna lie down? Have you jizzed yourself?”
Cray watched the whole thing unfold, and as the biggest natural I’ve ever met I immediately turned to him for approval.
“Oh my god! Ha! Did you see that?! I was cool as fuck wasn’t I?” My eyes reading his face looking for recognition.
“As cool as you can be when talking about Gears of War yeah”
“Wow…she was so HOT! And nice and funny and lovely. I’ve just met my future wife!” As I type those words it’s hurts like a bitch, now that I know the outcome.
I went upstairs to eat my lunch and went over the conversation a thousand times. I was proud of how I stood, how I treated her like every other person, how I laughed at her silly opinions. I felt like a P.U.A I really did, a P.U.A who was limited by the rules of his workplace. Oh well. Go me, was a nice ego boost.
She got lost in my mind, becoming another wanderer amongst the rows of women I would never get.
Fast-forward a week.
I see a fine looking ass as I’m walking to get my food in town. I’m staring at this ‘thing’ when it turns around. I catch her eye. You guessed it folks. The girl from the shop. Kat. She double takes me, she knows I’m that guy. And then carries on walking. Awesome, she recognized me!
I’m not comfortable in day game at all really, not nearly confident enough to run up to her and say “Hey! Remember me from the shop? Y’know…the, video game…shop, you were there…talking, with…me?” I didn’t want that conversation. I let her walk on. Just another ass.
JULY- Destiny May Well Be Real.
Facebook. The greatest gift to Game. The most painful of sites for a broken heart.
I can’t tell you how important Facebook is in the dating game now. And how that website is changing lives for better and for worse. It’s my most valuable tool, and to be honest I am brilliant at it…
On July 12th I comment on a friends status.
He came into the shop earlier that day to buy Metal Gear on the PSP. His status read:
“If any one wants the new Metal Gear game, Strider is the man to see!”
I leave a comment.
“Hell yeah! Hope you enjoy it dude!”
Then a female comments. YES an actual one of them!
“I <3 Metal Gear! Xx”
Wow. Okay…lets look at this broads photos. She’s gonna be horrible looking-oh my fucking sweet Jesus its her! Okay man, stay cool. My comment:
“No way, a chick that plays Metal Gear? I’m sorry but we have to be friends.”
I add her. She accepts. This is the real beginning. I start working more Mystery Method via Facebook. I pretend I don’t recognize her from her photos. She brings up the fact she was looking through my photos and asks if I am the guy she spoke too a few weeks ago? IOI number 1, she was looking through my photos. And she remembers me…I must be memorable! WOOHOO!
Again I play it cool by saying that it’s a high possibility she spoke to me, but we get loads of customers. This is great Game to work on anything higher than a HB8. She’s thinking “Why has not remembered me? Am I forgettable? I remembered him?!”
And the Facebook flirting went up a notch every day, liking of all my statuses…liking of photos buried pages in my history of photos. Another IOI, means she’s looking!
I make my profile picture that of me and my best friend surrounded by 10 beautiful women from a successful nights sarging a few months back. Trying to build an image of a popular woman loving man! It’s working. Approximately a week after adding her I realise I haven’t even checked this girl’s relationship status. FUCK. In a Relationship.
Why is she cyber flirting with me!? Strange, oh well…I don’t have a problem closing on a girl who just so happens to be ‘taken’. We arrange that she is going to come into work that Sunday to say hello.
MID JULY-The First Of Many
The Sunday comes. I kind of forget she’s coming down to be honest. I’m serving a customer when out the corner of my eye I see her. My eyes flick across acknowledging her with a simple nod while I continue selling with the customer. My heart is pounding and feels like it’s in my throat, fuck no…do I like this girl already? No shut up, P.U.A mode on. Lets do this. Palms sweating.
“Hey!” Oh great, nice fucking opener dick-wad.
“Hey” Her voice is so sweet. So feminine.
I give her a high-5 over the counter.
If you can still read this through that massive cringe that just rippled through you then well done. A high-5…seriously!? Don’t worry about it. It’s kino and compliance if nothing else. Okay.
We talk for a bit about a job interview she has later on in the day. I introduce her to my assistant manager Pain. He’s my age, easy to get on with…doesn’t really give a shit that I’m talking to her and not working. Perfect.
Now there is a counter separating us. But we are flirting outrageously! At one point she sings a child’s nursery rhyme that just so happens to have my name in it. And that guy kisses girls, in the rhyme, and they all run away. She says…and I quote…
“I wouldn’t run away that’s for sure…” I look at her.
“I bet you wouldn’t” She gave the ‘Fuck Me’ eyes…but I stack the conversation forward. Semi-erect at the thought of kissing her.
She’s been here for an hour. Time flies right. She leaves for her job interview and teases that she might be back afterwards.
I ask Pain for his help, I need to know what the situation is with her and her boyfriend and when she comes back an hour later he leads the conversation and discovers all.
Turns out her boyfriend is in the process of breaking up with her? What ever the fuck that means!? She truly is in love with the cunt, she is trying to hold on to what she had with him before he moved away. She’s been here flirting with me all day though? Given me way more 3 IOI’s! Maybe she just wants some male attention.
END OF JULY- Kino is King, Number Closing Sin
Copy and paste that last section about 6 times. And you’ll have an idea of what went on. She used to come into the shop, all day, and just stand there talking and flirting. I worked the cube on her, DHV’d my ass off. Our relationship was built on this flirtatious kino…when I walked past her I would put my hand on her lower back and brush it off. She would jump on my back for piggy back rides, and she would throw things at me in a childish bid for attention. Constantly giving me ‘Fuck Me’ eyes! I called her on it too…I was still working my A-game. Then it hit me…I hadn’t number closed!
Oh dear. With Facebook being the new way to communicate, and the only way I had communicated with her, I forgot to try and get her number! And number closing is still very important mi amigos. Even if you have her on Facebook…her giving her digits is another form of acceptance of you into her life.
The shop was closed and I was sweeping while she stood there talking. Looking all slender and gorgeous…her jet black hair reached down to her massive bust…massive…bust.
“I still don’t have your number…” The words might have well dribbled out.
“Yeah I know, I don’t know it” Okay fair enough, this is where she will ask me for my number…just you wait…just…you…wait…
She changes the subject and the day ends. What the hell happened there? Insecurity flushed through me, if she was interested she would have asked for your number. Fuck.
A few days pass, and Friday comes. I throw up the following status:
“Is apparently attending a rave on a farm this evening!”
Lots of people comment, including Kat. She puts:
“Ooooh sounds like fun!”
Fishing for an invite clearly. I private message her the details and MY number. Here is a technique that has worked for me in the past…give a girl your number, it’s a clear IOI if she ever contacts you on it.
Minutes later a text comes through and it’s her. I now have her number.
AUGUST- Texting when I’d rather be Sexting
She didn’t come to the farm rave that night. But for the next few weeks she text me everyday without fail. How are you? How’s your day been? What you up to? What you doing later? General girly chit chat. If I didn’t text her back she would comment on my statuses saying “Shouldn’t you be texting me back :P xx” Or something similar.
I was confused. Whenever I tried to change the tone of the text to something more suggestive and sexual she would tell me to stop talking like that. One text stood out in particular.
“Look let me get this straight, I’m in love with CUNT (not actual name, might as well be) alright. I don’t want anyone else, nor will I! Unless it’s Ryan Reynolds of course What you up too? Xxxx”. Holy fucking shit! Alright psycho or what? I was taken aback by her bluntness and was genuinely quite hurt…I didn’t have a chance now clearly. Ego damaged too.
The following day the general chatty texts continued. I slowly started pulling away from her, not texting her back or talking to her on Facebook. She noticed and asked me if everyone was okay.
“Yeah just really busy!”
I started talking to other girls, and moving on. But of course, she comes in to work doesn’t she. Every time I saw her it would just reset my feelings back to AFC. Trying desperately to win her over. Still trying to come across desirable and interesting.
I remember her saying that she heard ‘through the grape vine’ that I was a bit of a player. So un-true…my game is still coming on leaps and bounds but I hardly deserve the reputation of a ‘player’. But the fact she thinks it is a good thing, maybe.
My Game in that respect was working. She thought other girls were after me, they were…but I didn’t want them did I…I wanted her. And then I realized my worst fear, I had oneitis. The dreaded oneitis.
MID-AUGUST- Get Her Out of Your Mind
This time period becomes a bit of a Blur. I remember two key things that happened here though.
I took her for lunch with a few of my friends one day, it felt very coupley…she said something like “Hmm if we ever went out, I think you’d a bit too tall for me!” and “If you got a hair cut you might actually stand a chance with me!” She was fucking gaming me, negging me!? Was this girl for real?
I also remember on one break I had from work we went shopping. Little did I know we would end up buying a gift for her boyfriend. This was the first realization that I was in the friend zone. She asked my opinion on which necklace was the best. I was off with her and started hitting on the staff in the shop.
I stood there holding Kat’s bag as she trifled through the row of over priced pieces of neck wood or whatever. I didn’t just feel like a friend, I felt like a gay friend.
So I turn to the shop assistant.
“Do I look really gay standing like this?” She was surf babe hot.
“No! Ha! You look like a TopMan model or something” She said the words with no sense of sarcasm. Kat suddenly spoke up.
“Oh don’t tell him that, his head won’t fit out the door!”
I couldn’t tell if her response was jealousy. I don’t think it was. But from a Game perspective, getting a hot shop assistant telling me I look like a model had to have helped.
The following weeks, more of the same. We had a few arguments about trust issues and things, because I spoke to her best friend about her. She didn’t like that at all…but I promised her I wasn’t bitching or anything and that she just came up in conversation.
Around this point my mind wouldn’t stop. She was constantly in my thoughts, and this wasn’t good. I had 3 girls ask me out in this period, I told them all no…because I didn’t want to jeopardize anything with Kat. WHAT! Such a stupid thing to do. But I had fallen for her.
I converse with my brother about what I should do. The only conclusion is to tell her how I’m feeling. I’m 99.9% sure she doesn’t feel the same way but I gotta give it a go. I have to try and win her heart or something less lame than that…now I know that is never a good idea. The plan was set.
I didn’t text her back for 3 days. When she finally text “Is everything okay?” I replied.
“Look I’m gonna be honest with you Kat. I like you alright, I really like you…and I can’t keep doing what we are doing when you have a boyfriend, it’s not good for me y’know. Sorry to just spring this on you but I had to get it off my chest. Xxx”
Why did God make me such a pussy? That whole text was designed for rejection, read it again…that’s someone who has already been defeated writing that. It was a defense mechanism I guess.
She genuinely was shocked, had no idea…but understood. She said she loved Cunt (His actual name now) and she didn’t want anyone else.
I told her quite bluntly that I needed to cut her out for a few weeks. Needed some space to get her out of my freakin’ head.
OCTOBER- The Longest Night of My Young Life.
Perhaps a week had past? I see her relationship status on Facebook change. Single. Oh fuck…I kind of didn’t want this. I can’t forget about her now, not now that Cunt isn’t blocking the way.
But I maintained distance. Until one night when she text me…
“Can you call me? I really need to talk to someone xx”
Okay. I shouldn’t do this really, for my sake. But she needed someone and she turned to me, it felt good to be wanted.
We spoke for 45 minutes about everything, Cunt had cheated on her…and had been for a year…just like her last boyfriend. No matter what anyone reading this may think, having a girlfriend and fucking other women is not okay, okay? If that is how you get your kicks you are the scum of the earth…if you like a girl enough to be in an exclusive relationship with them, then you commit to that. Don’t go round breaking hearts. It’s not being alpha, its being a dick.
She cried down the phone. I comforted her and gave reassurance. Told her how special she was and I calmed her down. I did what any best friend would do. And for some bizarre reason, I was cool with that. I could be her best friend, if she wanted me I was there.
HALLOWEEN- The Hardest Night to Write About.
Just thinking of what happened this night has got me low again. I was so happy with the outcome, so pleased that I might finally get acceptance from another human being.
We had planed for months that a big group of us were to go out on Halloween. She was texting me all night. “Where are you?” “Can’t wait to see you!” “I look really good ”.
Good signs that she might be thinking about me differently now.
I see her outside a bar. She’s dressed as what I can only describe as a playboy bunny…that had been severely raped. Blood smeared all across her cleavage. White contact lenses that made talking to her incredibly uncomfortable. How does she look so beautiful in this get-up?
We go to a bar. This is where a secret chat took place.
My best friend StarMan had a little chat with her. Apparently it went a little something like this, fuck this is hard to type.
“So…Strider huh?!” StarMan begun.
“Yeah…Strider, what about him?”
“He’s crazy about you y’know…”
“What still? Really?”
“Yeah he doesn’t stop talking about you!”
“Oh my god.”
“So…do you like him too?”
“So if he went to kiss you tonight, you’d kiss him back?”
StarMan comes over to me a while later.
“Mate I just had a little chat with Kat”
“Oh you fucking-what have you done!?”
“Nothing, nothing! I’ve helped a brother out! She likes you back dude!”
“Yes! And she said if you kissed her tonight she would kiss you back!”
“First of all…never do that again. It makes me look like some AFC pussy. And secondly this is why you’re my best friend. I love you!”
The feeling man. That feeling of somebody you care so deeply about turning around and saying its mutual…I want that feeling forever. It was overwhelming.
We all agreed to meet at the club later on that night, where I planned to make my move.
Right there is the biggest mistake of my life. I should have gone straight up to her and kissed her, with passion and excitement…and with no fear of rejection in me, why didn’t I? I can only make excuses for myself, and the best I can come up with was that I wanted the perfect first kiss with this girl. I wanted it to be romantic and special. And in the middle of the street outside a shit hole bar, it was hardly Casablanca.
I see her in the club later on. We take photos. Kissing each others cheek. Me looking at her breasts in every photograph. And we stand there talking about fuck all. Both knowing we like one another. But I couldn’t pull the trigger. She had a bodyguard.
Behind her this stacked guy in an army vest waited for her attention. She wanted to be with me I could tell, but she came out with this guy and didn’t want to leave him. He pulled her away to the other side of the club. I watched on.
Her back against the wall. His arm leaning on the same wall. They had a rather intimate chat. I couldn’t hear it obviously but it looked deep. I watched on, and in my now alcohol fueled state, I was heart broken. She was only fucking talking to him!
So that night I went and found an easy target. Kiss-closed. And left. The ego boost doesn’t help. It never does for me. Trying to sleep that night was impossible, I was excited…nervous, anxious. So much promise for the future.
The morning comes and I see a text from Kat.
“Sorry I disappeared last night, my friend wanted to go home! Hope you had a good night…me and StarMan had a little chat by the way ”
She remembers their talk! YES! And she wants to talk about it clearly!
Mistake number 2.
I played dumb to the whole idea. Pretended StarMan hadn’t told me and I asked her what he said. She told me to ask StarMan myself…but not to worry. It was a good thing.
Along those lines anyway. I can’t bring myself to read those texts again. The absolute joy I once felt from her now turned to regret and self-loafing.
I remained positive though, for Friday we had arranged to go to a firework party out of town. And she was going to sleep at my place. The months of ‘What Ifs’ now turned to days of ‘How To’s’. I read more canned Game material that week than ever. How to kiss close without fail, how to build comfort, how to turn conversation sexual.
Friday was here.
NOVEMBER- Remember, Remember the 5th of November
YES! Excitement was an understatement. The big day, I might actually kiss her…and who knows what else!
I open Facebook. Her status reads:
“Such a magical time last night! Best night in AGES xxx”
Okay, what is this? She’s spent it with some friends nothing to worry-
“Me too babe xx”
Enter Ivan. Hello who the fuck is this!? Ivan the Destroyer.
He writes on her wall.
“Mine xxx” She likes it.
My heart broke. Already. Mid-afternoon before the big night. What was this all about? What is she playing at? Who is fucking Ivan?
Work went too slowly that day. At one point I went upstairs and just started hitting the lockers. A real twatty thing to do I know, but turning hurt into anger makes it easier to deal with for me.
I was literally waiting for her to cancel, but she didn’t. She came to my place and we were normal with each other. I decided to stop being a pussy.
“Yours and StarMans little chat the other night…is that still the case?”
“So we both ‘like’ each other then?”
“Fine cool, that’s all I need to know!”
And that made me comfortable. I didn’t try anything then because I knew what I was going to do to get my first kiss from her, and it was perfect. Couldn’t fail.
We started drinking and playing video games, she got very flirty and we finally got on the train and headed to the firework party.
The firework party I refer too is called ‘Lewes Bonfire Night’ it should be a perfect place for a first date. The 2 girls I’ve taken there have gone on to break my heart, so it’s a horrible place for a first date. Fucking horrible place.
I pay for her drinks, her train fare and her food. I hold her hand. I grab her and shield her with my body from an explosive banger that lands near us…like fucking Superman, she loved it. I was the perfect date, prince charming…every sweet guy I’ve ever seen in film channeling through me like I’m the love child of Hugh Grant and Robert Pattinson.
I watched the fireworks. She was texting Ivan.
On the way back to the train station I asked her about him. Told her I didn’t like this Ivan guy, and she found it sweet that I was jealous. Turns out he had told her he likes her a few weeks back…and he is in Lewes tonight. But she avoids meeting him.
Good. Right. Right?
On the train home she starts complaining about a migraine. Noooooo!! No man no matter his level of Game can compete with a migraine. She slept in my arms on the way back, I fell for this girl right then. That was the moment. Protecting her from the busy crowded train while she slept, I felt like a man for once, yet my first kiss plan was ruined.
The plan was to walk her back to my house. On the way there is my old school, very easy to get on the roof. The view up there is amazing, the lights…the sea, the moon. Perfect place for me to kiss her.
The combination of rain and her migraine shot that plan down. We got back to my place and talked for a few hours while watching Charlie Bartlett (Great film by the way, check it out). We were on my bed…I wasn’t getting anything from her.
She positioned herself lower down on the bed so eye contact was impossible. When I moved down she moved up. Compliance tests weren’t complying. It was Game over.
I saw at one point she was on Facebook, via her phone. On my profile she wrote ‘Callum the Cactus ☺ xxx’ it was a reference to an earlier conversation. I couldn’t understand why she wrote it?
She fell asleep finally, so I put the duvet around her. She spoke through her sweet and sleepy voice.
“Where are you going?”
“I thought I better take the sofa…being a gentlemen and all.”
“Sleep in here with me”
Um. YES. Okay, no problem. If it were an episode of Scrubs the next shot would be me with my clothes off and a condom in my hand.
I took my trousers off (pants for the Americans, very different story if I pulled my pants off to an English reader) and climbed into bed. She turned away and fell asleep.
When we woke she still complained about her headache. I gave her some more medicine and looked after her while she slept until 2.00pm. She slept until she had to leave.
After the best most anticipating week of my life, came the hardest…darkest, most miserable.
Facebook nearly killed me. Ivan comments on her wall.
“Can’t wait for tomorrow xx”
She likes it.
He comments on her photos.
“So gorgeous and your all mine xx”
She likes it.
My head was horrible place to be. Knuckles bled at one point, kept re-opening a wound every time I hit something. I thought to myself, is this a form of self harm? Am I hurting myself in order to feel something/anything. No…it can’t be, I’m no fucking emo kid. Snap out of it.
That Thursday I tried to snap out of it. StarMan took me for a night out. I fucked some girl in alleyway, trying desperately to get Kat out of my system. I felt no better…in fact I felt worse.
A week went by with no communication at all…felt like a year. Eventually she asked me if everything was okay, I asked her if things had changed between us. She said we needed to talk, she might have got things “mixed up lol” she put a fucking ‘lol’ in the text, what a bitch.
We arrange to meet the following week. I hang out with her and her girlfriends all day. I flirt outrageously with them, not her. She hated it…kept trying to get some attention from me…I was working good Game.
“My shower is fantastic isn’t it Kat?” Thought I’d suggest to her friends that me and Kat had done stuff.
“Was amazing! Oh that sounds dodgy!”
“Big enough for two people?” Her friend spoke.
“Oh yes, next time we’ll shower together Strider…that’ll be more fun!”
“I guess so, good for the environment too!” I replied.
Okay we are back to her suggesting sex. I’m back in the Game!! YES!
Her friends leave. It’s time we talked.
I lead the way stating how confused I was by the whole thing. She told me she was confused too, she didn’t know what she wanted. Trust issues plagued her mind, a run of guys treating her like dirt…how could they?
Ivan it seemed was in a similar situation to me. He had told her how he felt but he started getting really AFC about it all, texting her every 5 minutes…asking her to change her relationship status. She said to me that he was “being really weird about it all…and he has no right to be, I’m not his.”
45 minutes passed. And I’ve never spoke to anyone like I did to her. Told her how amazing she is, being brutally honest about my emotions and how I felt. Like this AFC does now.
I even told her about the girl I fucked in the alleyway, trying to create some form of jealousy in her, she merely laughed it off.
And my conclusion from the whole conversation was that we were just gonna date and see where things go. I can live with that. At least she’s not with Ivan.
NOW- Konclusion of Kat
That conversation happened 3 days ago. Now I’m here. Typing away on this keyboard in the vague hope that it can help someone out there.
We were texting, arranging meeting up next week…head to a club, she can stay at mine and we can watch films all day Sunday. I tell her:
“As long as it counts as date number 2!”
“I thought we talked about this”
My response is that we both left that conversation a few days ago with different conclusions. She agrees. We need to talk. We talk.
Turns out she just doesn’t want to lose me as her best friend. And she was afraid if she told me she didn’t like me ‘like that’ that I would cut her out again.
I feel cold. My heartbeat has come to a near stand still as the realization flushes over me. It’s over. It really is over. And it never even began.
It’s like I’ve broken up with this girl. And we were never a thing. I never got to give her that perfect kiss, and it looks like I never will.
As I finish writing this my phone flashes. Kat has text me.
“You seen that Miranda TV show? It’s hilarious! You have a good night? Xxx”
Will I respond? I don’t know. The plan for her to come round next weekend is still on, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep in the same bed with someone that has broken me.
The finality of writing all this out hasn’t come. It still feels raw and open. And for those of you interested enough to still be reading this…if you want a real conclusion as to what happens. Throw me an e-mail…I’m more than happy to indulge in some self-hatred for your benefit as it happens.
Hello friend-zone…bye, bye Kate.