Hey im two step, I'm new here but it seems pretty active so i wanted to check it out and start posting field reports. Heres one my favorites to kick it off.
ULTRA KILL YOGURT SHOP HEAD x2 and KIDNAPPED AND farkED BY A STRANGER
Sweet title eh? For those from RSD you’ve probably read this field report
, but there is even something for you….I’m going to break down every thing I did to show that anyone can get these results
Anyhoo, lets grab the night from around midnight
Midnight rolls around and me n daddy (my best wing man in college station) go to northgate, we go to this electronic dance lounge….and i catch fire
I walk up the these two chicks and tell them they need to meet daddy. I go extremely high energy, this is clutch when in a packed loud dance club. I’m literally yelling when I introduce them. My friend is to drunk to wing, so I take over. If your gonna go out to talk to chicks, it extremely important to have zero reliance on your wing. It takes one man to talk to a women
Anyways, within seconds I have my arm around the hotter of the two. How did I get to this. With the high energy opening, they responded with high energy and lit up. I was bringing fun to them. This makes me have value with them and also gives the interaction momentum. I keep the momentum going by physically escalating quickly. It is now completely okay for me to touch these girls and I’ve known them for 10 seconds.
I grab the one in my arm and pin her ass to my dingo and she starts dancing. Notice how I did not ask her if she wanted to dance or hesitate with her at all. Many guys would think this is me forcing myself on her….wrong. I’m simply leading her, shes accepted that I’m the leader of their pow wow in 30 seconds because of my behavior so naturally shes gonna go with where i direct her.
Most guys approach girls and make the girl the leader of the interaction right off the bat. NO, NO NO NO NO. Do you think shes going to go home with you if she doesn’t think your in charge or in control…no YOU HAVE TO LEAD HER HOME…Shes not gonna lead you home unless you already have ALOT of value to her.
As we are dancing I realize I’m breaking 2 of my rules
1. If your not dancing on the stage your a faggot
I grab both girls and go front stage of the bar and bring them up there…They want to grind on me….please…that breaks rule number 2
2. Grinding is for queers
I recall the superstar story Jeffy tells and instruct the girls to start doing spirit fingers with me in unison on the stage. I then break into the fire fighter dance and instruct them on how to do it. We are now up in front of about of 100 people doing the firefighter dance in unison to Kesha…this night could end now and be perfect. One the girls I’m dancing with is a turbo. Perfect lil ass.. AMAZING BOOBIES…i repeat..AMAZING BOOBIES…like pornstar but not fake
(This increases the interaction, at this point I’m bringing a sh1t load to these girls night. Without me they’d be standing on the floor alone being bored. With me, they are now on stage in front of 100 people having a blast…see how I have value to them… Most guys do not bring value to the girls, whether the guy is there or not affects the girls night very little. You want to be essential to their emotional mood. You can do this by blasting their emotions like this or by turning them on in other ways)
I leap off the stage to go do shots and leave them be.
I take my 4 horsemen like a dying female ferret (IE NOT WELL) and then turn around to find boogerface (pornstar boobie girl) shes grinding on some guy….lame….so lame that i must stop it for she is embarrassing herself… I pull her away from choda and plant her perfect ass on my dingo. I then start trying to bend her over…she resists at first but eventually gives way to my embarrassing level of drunken persistence.
I am now running my hands up her inner thigh and making out with her neck
(Most guys will not escalate past grinding. If your in this spot that I am, you have value to the girl, your being very physical. OF COURSE SHE IS farkING TURNED ON BY YOU. If your dancing with a chick and not escalating on her, your a faggot and have zero reason to be dancing. You can easily see where you stand with a girl when your dancing by grabbing her hands (she will usually grab them back) running your hand on her inner thigh, Spinning her around and getting really close to her face. She will not resist any of these if its on. ITS TIME TO MAKE OUT)
(we are the only people dancing in the club right now by the way…..its kinda more of a bar lol….WHATEVER DANCEFLOOR GAME BRAHS)
Spin her around and shes giggling like a nerd…I love nerds….I go for the make out…fail….try again…fail….plant my leg between hers (easy way to rub her wampa) and shes starts getting really turned on and tells me I’m a amazing dancer
(trying to make out when its ON will never scare the girl off, if you dont freak out when you fail)
I AM NOT A GOOD DANCER…..I either do spirit fingers or hump sh1t
As we are getting hot and heavy her roomate is leaving….she has to go and its really early in the night. She gives me her number…im like wtf am i suppost to with this….I don’t have enough time to go on dates in college station
This number comes in handy later though
I tell her im from Australia and im leaving tomorrow so we have to hang out tonight…she agrees…(this is pretty weak sh1t, girls always agree by the way)
I go up to this groups of chicks…they ignore me…they must not know who i am….i speak very loudly till they pay attention to me…they clearly do not want to speak with me….i probably smell bad. This same instance happens in the next 3 sets….im officially immune to blow outs
(this is essential, most guys will approach one chick like a p*ssy, she wont like him cuz hes a p*ssy and then he will hang in the protective shield of his friends all night. DO NOT BE THIS GUY…APPROACH UNTIL YOUR DEAD)
I find this sexy enough chick. Open with something really really stupid,(what you say means nothing, CONFIDENCE) i forgot what it was. Run the i used to have a gf with your name routine,
(I used to have a gf with your name routine—-great opener)
Her:Wait what why (hooked now on your repsonse, youve used active disinterest and now the girl thinks shes has ground to make up)
You:My last X was named rebecca…she was farking insane…your cool right??
Her:Oh yeah, im sane blah blah blah (now shes qualifying herself for you)
You:Haha cool i love sane girls *hug*lets get married (now your in a fun lil roleplaying game, sexually charged if your escalating)
This is the basic version be sure to improvise
I tell her she has alot of ground to make up. She is now very close to me and we are holding hands, my boner is clearly touching her.(BONERS ROCK) She start saying I need to buy her a drink. I tell her shes farking stupid.(Girls know a high value guy doesn’t need to buy drinks, low value guys need to) She tries to act offended and tells me I’m useless…..I tell her if shes a good kisser i might get her a drink…she says she does not kiss guys she just met at bars…I then tell her she sucks at getting drinks….she tells me she is amazing at it and can get any guy her to buy her a drink.
(see how i never give her anything without her working for it, most guys just give a girl whatever they want right off the bat. WHY …what has she done to deserve such treatment. You dont need to give her sh1t for her to give you attention, your being there is good enough)
ORLY? I tell her she needs to find a chode to buy us both drinks. As i say this i take her drink out her hand and down it. She literally gets pissed and i look at her like shes insane. She then realizes that in my reality be a flaming idiot is the norm…..And shes in it
She finds this chode and is all over him…apparently being a whore gets drinks. As he attempts to hit on her as he by her drinks i grab her ass and pretty much finger her butt. She tries not to the notice. Chode has choda vision and doesnt see. She walks off with chode and i try and claw her back…she resist because she wants me to dominate her farking ass… I let her chill for a minute and then find her from choda and headlock her away. (im a farking stud, again the thought of her rejecting me doesnt even enter my head, there for she follows my lead and accepts this) Apparently choda only got her 1 drinks…so it must be the one for me…i take this from her and drink it as well
(again i have zero concern about whether she likes me or not. She senses this and now wants my approval or in a more simpler form, to make me start to care thus WIN me)
This time she seems to get really turned on by it… She then tells me get her drinks…i do the good kisser thing again…. She says no..i say u must be a really sh1tty kisser
I bite the sh1t out of her lip because shes been such a bitch. I think i taste blood. I am also squeezing her ass in a way that my fingers are basically on her p*ssy. She make one last attempt to act like my behavior is out of line and i just tell her “damn she is a good kisser” and order 4 horsemen (151, rumplemints, jaeger, and everclear this sh1t is lethal)
I then start talking about how hungry i am. She says she hungry tooo………….zomg
( As soon as its ON, have a place nearby to pull her to)
Happy yogurt is kinda far, but im a man of tradition (if youve read my Field reports you know whats up. If not….theres this place in college station i always go to to get head behind…its called happy yogurt, Its near all the clubs and has a sweet nook behind it where you can fool around)
She get yogurtrized and gives me her number after whiles shes playing with my d1ck
SWEET BITCH BACK TO THE BAR
( Why settle for 1….im the farking man…you need to have this Mindset
regardless of how well your doing, no girl is special until proven special)
When i get back to the bar me n this chick do more horrible things to each other. As im dry humping her on the dance floor i grab another chicks and start beasting on her. Turns out ive made out with this girl before. I attempt a 3 way make out multiple times…Fails…Anyways i get bored and walk off
I beast on more chicks and see some nasty blow outs. I see two girls dancing, i turn around and then violently attack them with my ass… They dig it and I lick one of their faces
Bars starting to close… i go outside to smoke…There is this HOT girl dancing by herself outside…I approach with “you look like such a dork right now”
Her response, while giving me the i want to fark u eyes “lol are you trying to pick me up”
I say “yes” and then pick her up wedding style and off we go to happy yogurt. I carry her for about two blocks and tell her we are going to get something to eat. Shes really turned on cuz shes my total bitch. She then askes me what my sign is. Gemini. She starts getting all bubbly cuz shes a gemini too…AWWW ITS MEANT TO BEEEEEEE
(girls want to be dominated, by picking her up with zero hesitation, I must be alpha as fark in her head. Girls want a guy like this. Most guys would of started telling her a joke or something when she asked if they were trying to pick her up…..fark that…go for the kill if you sense you can even a little)
We get to HY and its closed, really making my case tough…whatever…hey come see this sh1t i drew on the wall behind it
So shes playing with my d1ck and we are making out n sh1t. I pushing her head down telling her shed look sexy with my d1ck in her mouth. She tells me she loves to suck d1ck. Then her phone rings, before i can take it out her hands she answers. Her ride is leaving….She has to go…i zip up my pants and never talk to her again
(this girl was cute hot, dont think just because a girl looks classy and seems cool that she doesnt love d1ck. GIRLS LOVE d1ck…KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THIS)
So i meet up with 2 of my best girlFRIENDS andro and cateye and i decide im gonna go chill with them at their place. They are both freakishly hot girls but also the sh1t as friends so this purely innocent. I dont creep on my friends
anyways me and andro are playing pokemon stadium on her n64 when my phone starts ringing………who could be calling at this hour
I dont save numbers in my phone by names because im lazy so i dont know it is. Its a girls voice and she askes me what im doing. I dont know who it is but i tell her im just chilling. She says she liked seeing me and im like umm coool. I then start telling whoever it is im goin back to austraila tommorrow for my job at google and that this is the last time we can hang out…so it was nice meeting you
after a pause she askes me what im doing. I tell her wishing i was having amazing sex with her and start talking really dirty. I tell her she needs to come pick me up in front of a bar down the street.
(again i dont even know who im talking to…im leading, setting a sexual frame and telling her what to do. Most girls don’t like to make decisions, its the guys job….do it for her)
I get up tell andro i love her dearly but i must go on a adventure
So im sprinting through the streets of college station when a near fatal incident occurse. I run out in front of a cop car. im hoping hes not
From behind me I hear him yell GET ON THE CURB…fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuck
Apparently some guy just beat the sh1t out of his gf in the apartments i was sprinting from and he thinks its me…fuuuuuck. he askes why i was running and i go really present thinking of a story manwhore told. I tell him im meeting a girl in front of this bar. Just then the girl calls me….
Im like…..doooooood…cmo n….thank god he has a d1ck he smirks and is like okay whatever get the fark out of her…i almost hug him.
I sprint to this bar just as these two girls pull up
………goooooo farking figure one of the girls is boogerface (pornstar boobs) and im like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSs….CHAMPIONN NNNNNSSSSSS
I get in the car and boogerface is just smiling at me. Me and her roomate make bffs. We go back to their place and they smoke and we watch american dad
Ive become pretty good buddies with the roomate in the time ive been there. I look at booger face who is adorably curled up in my arms (she is adorable…..Yes…) and the look back at roomie.. Roomie smiles and gets up and says ” WOOOOOOW IM SO TIRED,, you guys look tired to you two should go to sleep”
( if you ever are hanging out with a girl and her BFF/Roomate….befriend the sh1t out of the roomate…she will get you laid….SHE …WILL…GET…YOU…L AID)
Don’t have to tell me twice
Me and booger face go into her room and I have one of the best nights ive ever had with a girl…. Not only is she a turbo but she one of the coolest chicks I’ve met in forever. We wake up cuddling the next morning…yes i can cherish sometimes… i have a soul
Then I’m off to Austraila =P
I do not endorse lying to girls to get laid… i do however endorse it for comical reasons which is why i do it…cuz being a Australian googleteer is sweet
Look and how I behaved this night. Look at the delusional cocky mindsets and views my actions portray…. Was their anything about talking…No not really…Its not what you say, its what you think about yourself…..Now get out their and take bitches by the hair and get laid =D