To make a long story short, I met my ex last year in Scotland; I'm a PhD student there and she was an exchange student from North Carolina. She broke up with me over summer due to the distance, but when I went to see her after, we got back together. Then I got needy and smothered her because my Grandmother died (who I was/am really attached to, probably more so than my mum), which caused her to ditch me again. My reaction to my Grandmother dying led me to phone and message my girlfriend a lot, and she didn't understand it was my way of dealing with hurt. She is currently on exchange in Finland, and I'm visiting her with a common friend now. My goal is to make her interested in me again, as I may be going to NC next year on an exchange. I don't want her as a GF, I want her as a girl who I can hook up with at a later point and maybe be together with her then.
Over the past few weeks I've read PUA material, gamed a bit (which has been very successful, though no kiss-close yet, but simply because I was trying to practice openers and conversation). Over Facebook I've gradually negged/been tougher on her, which has made things a bit better. Last weekend I was in Valencia for Fallas (a regional festival) where I managed to effectively gather girls around me without even speaking the same language (60 Years of Challenge's microescalations ftw), and I got a nice wee tan.
When I wrote this, I was sitting in my hotel room waiting for my pal to her after having some food with my ex and one of her female friends. I negged her a bit, which she hasn't taken to too well. I have not noticed a single IOI yet, but we're going to pre-game and go out to a student party where she wants to get trashed. My plan is to hit on the hottest girls and bring them over to my ex and her friends, so I raise my social value and then take it from there using a mix of negs, dhv's and making her jump through hoops. While writing to this I'm listening to 80's hair metal to get me in the mood.
It may sounds hopeless and dumb, but I'm actually sort of over her; Spain, sun, alcohol and girls do that to you. I'm not very desperate either - the woman's put on a little weight, which has lowered her from a 7.5 to a 7 (she's not fat).
I took the bus out to her place where she kept getting pissy over the phone while explaining the way, so I kept hanging up on her. Not sure if that was a very mature or good thing, but when she met me she was laughing. We went to her friends' place for some pre-gaming, where I quickly instated myself as AMOG and chatted to everyone, but the girl (let's call her Caroline as she's from NC) avoided me. I picked up IOI from her towards some other guy, and later when we went to the club she was sending IOI's like crazy to some Dutch peacock. My mood turned sour after a while, as the girl I'd come to visit simply wasn't talking to me, and her friend (also from NC) eventually pulled a guy, leaving me waiting for a pal and with nobody to talk to, as the girls I'd been chatting up had left. Eventually he turned up and I told Caroline I was sick and tired of her acting like a bitch and asked her why she even invited me over. She got pissed off, shouted at me a bit, and I went back to the hotel with our friend, Swedish, who had just arrived.
Today I woke up to a message on my phone, with her saying she's sorry, though she blamed me a bit too, so I text back that I accepted her apology. I then continued with some negs and being cocky funny.
Later, we went to two museums, a modern art and a crafts one. She kept saying I didn't understand art (there was a penis mounted on a baseball bat...); she went home and me and Swedish had dinner.
After the museums and stuff, me and Swedish met up at her flat. She was giving Swedish IOI's, but I know for a fact it's because they're really good friends and she did it even when she was going out with me (while he was shagging her best friend), and I know he's firmly in the friend zone. Regardless, it did irk me. Anyway, we sat in her room pre-gaming for a while and then went to a block party, where we met a friend of hers and I sarged two Romanian nurse students. Due to lighting and beer goggles, I couldn't really tell how good looking they were. Pictures checked day after say HB 5 and 6. Anyway, it wasn't a great party and we all went back to our separate places.
We met up at our hotel for pre-gaming, Caroline, Swedish and three of Caroline's friends. Where I accidentally called her fat. My neg failed completely as I couldn't make it funny, though she has put on weight. She didn't take it well. We then went to a club where we started dancing, but I decided for some reason to go sarging. I quickly found a HB9 and a HB6, where I approached the HB6 with an opinion opener. After a while the HB9 joined in, and I talked to her for a while, but forgot to reward her with IOI's and she eventually left. Damnit. Anyway, by this time my friends were about to leave. We went back to ours for an after party, which consisted of us skyping Caroline's old flatmate (a good friend of ours) in Indiana and being dumb on Facebook. I gave my ex my pillow and a blanket when she wanted to fall asleep in a chair, though I told her we could share my bed. I later tried lifting her into my bed under the pretence she'd be more comfortable as I was drunk and heartbroken I had failed for now.
During the whole time I was there, she would keep looking away when I was talking to her and she complained about her personal space when we were in a buffet and I leaned in close so I could get a spoon. I thought I had comfort built up, but I clearly didn't!
Regardless, she's going to Amsterdam in a month with a friend so she can smoke weed. I happen to know a guy in the Hague (which isn't far away) who can get us good weed. I've never done drugs in my life though, and I'm unsure as to whether I should ask if I could come along, and how.
Don't get drunk.
Work on my inner game, I need to be happier. Throughout the whole trip I often tried being cool or freezing them when I should've just been happy!
I shouldn't have sarged all the time, I should have been more around them to create comfort.
I need to learn to handle AMOG's or guys that hit on her. Does anyone have any suggestions?
What went well.
I have improved relations between me and my ex, though things have been tough due to the fact they had deteriorated far more than I initially thought! She also displayed very little interest in me (none actually). I need to create attraction and comfort again.
I've also posted this on another forum, where I got this reply
To which I replied I think I got freeze-out and negs mixed up with being quiet and rudeness due to being unhappy. And has anyone here any tips on how I could maybe get her back with reference to the 50% interest level?Originally Posted by RainTone