(Skip to The Date, further down if you want to cut the "journey" crap)
I met a smoking Isreali chick a while back, to be exact, last semester. She is skinnier but I would say shes an 8 or 9. I was introduced to her by a guy in my class. When I met her, and for a few times after that, I was really shy. I didnt really talk to her much and tried to focus more on my textbooks than her! *facepalms* Now this spring semester rolled around and over winter break we didnt talk at ALL. I saw her in the library hall my first day back and waved and stopped and said hello, but nothing really progressed. I felt shy again! So, I finally was fed up! I decided I would take advantage of what was around me, and I started setting up study groups, talking to randoms in my class, and the girls I did know, I just talked until I was blue in the face! I decided in order to get girls I had to at least be able to strike conversation!
A few weeks later, I was talking to a wide spectrum of ages, races, colors, smells, what have you! Now, I wasn't even worried if they were single, married, lesbian, nothing mattered, the only thing I cared about was how to make women really like my company! So I passed by that Israeli chick again, and this time, I decided we were going to have some fun! So right off the bat I started teasing her about loads of different things, and read some horoscopes, played a few people-watching games, etc. I didn't just want HER to have fun, that's not whats important, "I" wanted to have fun!
A few times of meeting up with her and teasing and playing and being nice, I made a real quality friend. A big mistake now that I understand all this. I should have touched her, got closer, got more into the conversations, got more intimate, more sexual! Wow, visiting the friend zone once again I see. But last week, she was talking to me and said she has this friend she wants me to meet, that she has a similar personality, and is very pretty. I was on that offer like chicken on rice, or so I thought...
When I actually met this girl, I was expecting less for some reason and my shyguy self stuck this girl on a pedestal immediately. Another textbook MISTAKE. She was also hanging with this guy that basically "gets ALL girls." I bet he could say he needs a quicky, and those girls would raise their hands high, screaming "ooh, pick me!" Lol, maybe not that far, but you get the point.
I didn't really say anything other than "hi, my names Tyrel" and made some joke about my name being some black name lol. Asked what classes she was taking and then bid farewell, and took off!
Well, a few days ago, she sent me a request on facebook to be her friend, and of course I accepted. We talked for a bit, and then I asked if she would like to get coffee the next week. I wasnt expecting for her to say yes, but she did. So then I asked for her number and told her "no dont get excited, im no trying to pick you up." Next day at my job, she initiates a texting conversation and that led to some great teasing, and we set up a day for the date, not even a time. I didnt rush it, wanted to make it seem like this date wasnt super important to me. The next day she texts me again asking what time we should set it up and we do. Finally the day before the "date" and she texts saying she cant make it, I was like "great, another flake." (didnt actually say that, lol). But she had a legit excuse, babysitting. So we set it up for the next night. She texted this morning confirming we were still on and I was like "woot!"
Well, I would liked to have felt that way. I actually felt like crap, had major butterflies, heck, they werent butterflies, they were freakin birds in there, lol! I desperately scrambled all day long looking for ways on how a first date should go, how to attract, how to Kino, how to kiss close correctly, etc. Then i came across something saying that overthinking and overstudying was what I wanted to avoid, so I held the flush lever down on my brain and washed what I just read right out! Then I looked at a few resources, studied a while, getting a "plan of action" that would have made a 1.5 hour date ending with a kiss.
What actually happened on this date today, completely changed my whole outlook on dating, kino, attraction, ALL that garbage! And I will explain how...Oh, and we planned to meet at this cozy little outdoor mall for coffee btw.
*****THE DATE*****- 15 minutes before our expected meetup, I sent her a text telling her NOT to buy anything if she arrived before me. She was cool with that. So I showed up, all in my fresh new outfit, hairstyle, new cologne, and felt great, large and in charge! Well, that and a bunch of nervousness and anxiety suffocating it all. I actually arrived there early and I was like whatevs...She walked in 10 seconds later, and I decided to skip like 5 steps in the "DiCarlo Ladder" and gave her a hug. (Take in mind we did text and had a good time with that but our last real in person encounter was pretty awkward, but I didnt hesitate anyway.) This one move probably helped the whole date now that I think about it, it could have been a weird wave or awkward handshake, but how "ugh" are those? Then, she asked what we should get, and I said "lets play thumb war and whoever loses buys the drinks." She was sort of hesitant but it ended up being fun (I used my other hand and pushed down her thumb, that got a laugh!). I was still feeling a little awkward, but we finally ordered drinks, and then went and sat outside by the fire.
We talked for a while, I pretty much recited some funny stories I told alot of other girls, and tried to make her laugh, and some worked some didnt really. She asked where I worked and I said I couldnt tell her she would stalk me, lol, and teased her about that. I think she was sort of testing me because I would say these types of things and she would get defensive, probably to see if I changed my attitude, which I didnt, I stuck to my guns! After a while, I said lets walk around! At this point I was getting more comfortable, so I brang up a game, "F,Marry,Kill." This proved to be quite interesting and I teased her about her decisions alot. I chose a little boy and she said marry, and I brang that up a few times later on and teased her about that. During this game though, is when I first started KINO! Yeah I know it took me about 30 minutes, but granted, I finally started lol, when usually with other girls, I was too shy to do so.
Now we headed back to the fireplace and started talking more. I was still at very low levels of KINO, but I did a few things like touched her hair, teased her about it, took her hand, and looked at her ring, playfully tapped her arm a few times when we made a joke, or teased her. One thing that really helped was when told her she was like a little kid, not thinking about consequences and being free, and I went back to this alot. Basically, I just slowly worked my way up the ladders of KINO, while being fun and relaxed. Eventually, we got up again and I told her to take my arm This was another thing that helped push the touching much further. Before long, we got closer, and eventually held hands, then had our hands around each others waists. At one point she accidentally put her hand on my butt, which I bugged her about, and was like. "hell yeah girl just go to town with it!" haha that was funny We finally sat down again and started talking slower , but I still kept the teasing talk going. Now that I realize it, I probably missed a few opportunities to kiss her, but I didnt want to blow it and actually, that could have ruined my chances for a kiss. But luckily, as we slowly trudged to her car, we got closer, and the kiss moment came. I started looking at her much longer and we sort of just stopped everything, and then we hugged, and I sort of pushed the hair back behind her ear and held the back of her head and then all of a sudden, BOOM we were making out, tongues and all
She told me how much fun she had and then we said good night. She drove off as I was walking to my car and did a little fist pump pat on the back, lol. I forgot to mention that throughout the date she was hinting that we would date again...She texted later saying how much she enjoyed the date and hopefully we could do it again sometime.
Now, I know a few of you guys are going to be laughing at how I thought a make out was so awesome. But keep in mind I had never made out with a girl before and this was technically my first date of my life.
Here are a few questions I have:
1- With that Isreali chick, what is the best way to get her out of the friend zone? KINO is much more comfortable to me now so that could help, I think.
2- How should I talk to this girl after this date? I am thinking the same way, but since we made out, wont their be more sexual thoughts going on in her head? Will it be easier to attempt a lay from her now?
3- Will attempting to kiss her again be easier? And will I be able to do it at other times rather than the end of a date?
4- Will I be able to jump into KINO faster? Instead of starting from the bottom and working my way up, cant I start it off with a hug and then arm in arm, or even start with a little kiss?
If youve made it this far, I thank you! You have some patience! Give yourself a pat on the back. I hope that wasn't too brutal of a read. And most importantly, I HOPE this helps some of the guys just starting out, because technically I am still just beginning, but I wanted to share what worked for me. But the biggest thing you got to remember, is that learning this stuff online, and actually doing it in reality, is a HUGE difference. You can plan all you want, but there will be silences, moments where she tests your confidence, and times where your tease didn't come off the right way, just stick to your guns! If she says your weird, say she is, dont get all defensive! Just eat, breathe and sleep FUN, and you will be alright!
-Tyrel Johnson (and dont ask what everyone asks, I am probably one of the whitest dudes on the block, lol)
PS- I want to give major props to Bobby Rio. He has been a huge help, motivator, and guide for me. He has reffered me to some great resources, including Vin DiCarlo's "Ladder od Escalation" which, I think, made the difference in this date and got me to the kiss close. So thank you Vin, and THANK YOU Bobby! Oh check out his Social Traning Lab, its GOLD! No, im not getting paid to say this