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  1. #1
    Pua_uk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default My first ever pickup- where did it go all wrong?

    Hi there. I'm a super newbie! I have read lots of things but not put them into practice.

    I decided to just go for it the other night. I usually try and talk to chicks on the dancefloor: I ask some girl if she had heard any good chat up lines, then later I asked a different girl dressed up as a cat if she was either a quiet yet mischievous cat or a feisty cat. I can’t think of anything to follow up so these both just ended and they continued to dance. I used to be terrified of the thought of saying anything at all, so I believe it to be progress of some sort.

    Later, I saw this girl in a red dress (an 8) sitting down alone on seats near the dancefloor. I had never gone up to a woman who was sitting down before. I tried to think of techniques instead of the “Hi, How are you, where you from; where do you work...”(now I’ve run out of things to ask) style thing I’m used to.

    I come over, smile, give eye contact and say “I thought I’d talk to you as you looked lonely”
    I ask her if she’s ever played the Lying game, she says no.
    “Basically I ask you 5 questions and you have to lie on each one, you have to try to get to the end,” (She seems vaguely excited but I press on.) I ask her name and where she’s from, where that is in? (she could be telling the truth who knows.) I get to the trick question by asking her “how many questions have we had so far?” she gestures 3. “Oh unlucky, you lose you answered with the truth!”
    (I had read this game on the web before, I’m not sure how it’s supposed to get a seduction response or into further conversation).

    I had noticed there was some Indian guy that was pestering her a little earlier, I joked that I could try and set them up together, then she got confused. (It didn’t really make sense, I guess it was funny in my head) I explain tonight I’m here with my friends, and we’re celebrating my friend coming back from Africa after teaching English for a year.

    I then ask her why she was sitting down and she reveals that she was tired or something. I then say how tired I feel and how I’m going to have to do my best sober impression at work. She asked me where I worked. I said “what’s this town famous for?” She said the beach. I said Yes, I slap her a high five. She asked me if I worked as a lifeguard. I said “no, but I bet you’re imagining me in those sexy red shorts?” I told her I worked as an ice-cream person, (the truth) I didn’t know what to say about the subject, so I just said it was an amazing job where we used a whippy machine. I then asked her what she did, I said ‘I reckon something based on fashion,” judging by the way she was dressed, but instead she worked for a bank. I said “I’d better not give you any of my money then I know what you bankers are like” and she laughed.

    I felt an awkward silence and we just sat there for at least 10 seconds not talking. I felt about how I’ve seen other people have flirty conversations where they’re bantering and laughing.

    I ask her if she’s played 4 questions game. (this is a Style routine I think) I said “it’s a great way to get to know someone you’ve just met and find out some interesting about your personality, but are you brave enough to play it?” She says yes.
    I ask her to imagine that she’s in a white room, how does she feel? She says she’s wondering why she’s here.
    I then ask her what her favourite colour is and how it makes her feel? She says Purple, but won’t tell me what she likes/feels about it
    I then ask her favourite cat and what she likes about it? She says a cat and it being furry (I find it hard for people to explain the feeling about colour/animal , I have to push for the second part of each question and it makes me feel harsh)
    I then ask her to imagine being next to the most beautiful lake and what would you do in the situation? She says she wouldn’t go into it as it’s cold.
    I’ll tell her the result...the white room being what she thinks about death, I explain that she isn’t too worried about it, but she’s a bit curious about it. I tell her the colour means what she thinks of herself, I couldn’t get anything from her answer, maybe I should have thought of some positive attributes about the colour purple? The animal question about her liking cats and the furriness, I said that’s what people think of you, I joked “I’m not sure about this one”! The lake questions I revealed was what she thought of sex, her comment about it being too cold, I said that meant she was initially apprehensive. (Perhaps I should have said that it means you need to find the right person before you commit to intimacy while very slyly pointing to me)
    I asked her if she had heard any good chat up lines. I said I was a wannabe Casanova and wanted to learn the tricks of the trade. I tell her that the worse I heard was ‘If you were the McDonalds you’d be the McGorgeous; I couldn’t believe it when I heard it.”

    After another long silence, I felt like I wasn’t progressing and felt awkward just sitting there. I find it extremely difficult to get her to truly invest in a conversation, I wanted that flow you get from one to the other, the excitement of a good conversation. After I had spoke, she didn't convey much interest so I ended up just jumping to topic to topic like you see above. I say ‘nice to meet you,’ shake her hand and go.

  2. #2
    Defiant is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first ever pickup- where did it go all wrong?

    From what I can gather, which isn't exactly testament..
    Your approach may have been somewhat dry - "You look lonely I thought I'd come talk to you" is, in my experience a warning indicator for women as they instantly defend against a predator. And theres the fact she was alone, sitting away from the bar (the social scene) but rather sat at the dancefloor (I imagine if a girls sat there, she wants to dance, but probably didn't dare do it alone)
    I think that may be the fail, in, not thinking enough why she's where she is, doing what she's doing - seems like she's having a bad night to be honest, I'd use the opener "You look how I feel" but with a smile - I know it's starting on a negative, but it's also creating a bond and if the girl was how I imagine her, I'd be matching her mood.
    You might have been better trying that, and then leading it to her talking so you can figure her out a bit and THEN playing games - She'd feel more comfortable because she's just been able to talk, and then you show a playful and smart side by playing games whilst also cold reading her and possibly generating more interest.
    She'll have likely also noticed how you spoke to and didn't get far with two other girls, that doesn't put you in the most powerful position, and all this pottering about indicates that you weren't looking too popular because theres no mention of you being with any friends.
    The fact that after telling her about an Africa trip teaching english, according to your post, she didn't really respond to that, now that's pretty much a gold mine of interest. Maybe you just picked a girl that was tired of her night, there will have been reason as to why she was alone and your playful attitude show's through on the post so she was probably just on a downer.
    I know the end of that doesn't really give much info on how to improve your game, but I've put details in here about trying to put yourself more into the girls head to figure out more what she'd want to talk about rather than just preset pick up techniques.
    Theres a book called "You need this book" it is in no way a pick up book but a self development book and the theories and techniques in it can easily be adapted to picking up girls.
    From what I've read I wouldn't cast off any of what you were doing, maybe you just need to get more comfortable doing it, and focus more on your body language - theres no mention in here to say it was bad, but in my eyes, it is the number one killer or the best tool possible.
    Well done with approaches mate, you're already a thousand times better than most men.

  3. #3
    jkwan23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first ever pickup- where did it go all wrong?

    Hey Pua_uk,

    I think your approaches were solid- you made some observations about the girls and then just walked up to them. Most guys don't even have the balls to do that! It sounds like your biggest problem is making the conversation interesting after the initial opener. In the last scenario, you had lots of short questions/phrases to say...but few of them were very interesting and did not lead to more conversation.

    For example: you go from asking about being in a white room, to asking her favorite color, to asking her favorite cat and what she likes about it. Not only are you just throwing out random questions that are unrelated to eachother, but they are not interesting enough to yield any more of a response than "i don't know", "yellow", and "Japanese bobtail" before the conversation goes stale.

    Try watching some pickups on youtube to see how to use banter lines to keep the conversation going. Alex Coulson, though he advocates mostly day game, is a great example of someone who knows how to keep awkward pauses out of his interactions.

    I am a beginner as well so you and me are pretty much in the same boat. Good luck improving!

    -J

  4. #4
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first ever pickup- where did it go all wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I decided to just go for it the other night.
    great job

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I come over, smile, give eye contact and say “I thought I’d talk to you as you looked lonely”
    imo, too direct

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I ask her if she’s ever played the Lying game, she says no.
    “Basically I ask you 5 questions and you have to lie on each one, you have to try to get to the end,” (She seems vaguely excited but I press on.) I ask her name and where she’s from, where that is in? (she could be telling the truth who knows.) I get to the trick question by asking her “how many questions have we had so far?” she gestures 3. “Oh unlucky, you lose you answered with the truth!”
    (I had read this game on the web before, I’m not sure how it’s supposed to get a seduction response or into further conversation).
    you couldve wagered if she lost shed buy you a drink and if you lose you buy her one. this would give a small reason to stay. but it couldve been anything, be creative.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post

    I had noticed there was some Indian guy that was pestering her a little earlier, I joked that I could try and set them up together, then she got confused. (It didn’t really make sense, I guess it was funny in my head) I explain tonight I’m here with my friends, and we’re celebrating my friend coming back from Africa after teaching English for a year.
    you couldve brought down that guys value by observing his behavior out loud, she wouldve probably agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I then ask her why she was sitting down and she reveals that she was tired or something. I then say how tired I feel and how I’m going to have to do my best sober impression at work. She asked me where I worked.
    small ioi

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I said “what’s this town famous for?” She said the beach. I said Yes, I slap her a high five. She asked me if I worked as a lifeguard. I said “no, but I bet you’re imagining me in those sexy red shorts?” I told her I worked as an ice-cream person, (the truth)
    nothing wrong with that i suppose.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I didn’t know what to say about the subject, so I just said it was an amazing job where we used a whippy machine. I then asked her what she did, I said ‘I reckon something based on fashion,” judging by the way she was dressed, but instead she worked for a bank. I said “I’d better not give you any of my money then I know what you bankers are like” and she laughed.
    nice response

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    I felt an awkward silence and we just sat there for at least 10 seconds not talking.
    try to work at filling these 10 seconds

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua_uk View Post
    After another long silence, I felt like I wasn’t progressing and felt awkward just sitting there. I find it extremely difficult to get her to truly invest in a conversation, I wanted that flow you get from one to the other, the excitement of a good conversation. After I had spoke, she didn't convey much interest so I ended up just jumping to topic to topic like you see above. I say ‘nice to meet you,’ shake her hand and go.
    youre on the right track.

    she was somewhat investing from what i heard in the OP post. keep on it, youve made a great choice to go for it, you carried on, you didnt shit yourself, and you learned from it.

    keep it up.


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