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  1. #1
    SSSH's Avatar
    SSSH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default My first pick up ever (sort of) please help!

    alright, i'm new here on puaforums, i apologize for the long read, but i'm an amateur and still not sure which details matter and which don't

    so about a year ago i turned 18 and graduated high school, feeling like it was time for a new chapter in my life, i went and bought the game by neil strauss, and began consuming as much pua related stuff i could find (books, vids, etc.)

    a year goes by, i spend most of the time improving myself, going to the gym, working on my conversation skills, overcoming shyness, and i turn 19, and i'm tired of being AFC, i'm ready to try my luck in the field

    on july second i go to a local venue, one of my good friends is playing and there's also a bikini contest being held, with free drinks and admission for any girls in bikinis

    before i actually leave, i pump myself up, i read motivational quotes, review some of my lines, overall just convince myself i'm an irresistible, sexy badass, by the time i get there i feel 100% alpha

    so at the bikini contest one of the girls catches my eye, there are about 12 girls in it and this one is number 3, she doesn't win, so i decide to take advantage of her low self esteem, after the contest i see her (now fully dressed) standing next to one of my friends, i go talk to him, making sure not to pay attention to her for a good 5 minutes, eventually i notice her looking at me, and i make eye contact, she quickly looks away, but i'm not letting her go that easy
    "what's up number 3?" i say loudly, she looks over and, much to my suprise, says hi
    "i do have a name you know"
    "well what is it?"
    let's just say her names sarah
    we chat for a minute, and then she loudly asks me "do you like my shirt? i made it!" she stretches out her shirt for me to see

    now it's important to remember that this is the first time i've ever approached a girl like this, i feel completely on top of the world, so i decide to go for broke and start running my hands up and down her torso, under the guise of "feeling her shirt" again much to my suprise she seems to enjoy it, so i move to the pants, she enjoys that even more, she then says she's afraid she smells like alcohol, at which point i seductively lean in and smell her neck, whisper in her ear "you smell good", she lets out a soft moan now at this point i feel completely invincible, having this much success on my first set ever, without a wingman or anything, just me and the girl, it was exhilarating, with my confidence higher than it's ever been in my life, i decide to go for the kiss

    but then her friend runs up "OMG SARAH YOU'VE GOT TO COME SEE THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH"

    she looks at me shyly, and as she walks away she runs her hand across my chest

    i decide not to let this discourage me, and begin to chat to some of the other guys there, before watching my friends band play

    about an hour passes and i realize that i have to work tomorrow, so on my way out i see her sitting down, she also notices me and actually gestures for me to sit next to her, i take this as an ioi, i tell her i have to leave early, but want to see her again, she says she would like to see me too and gives me her number, and actually uses my phone to call her phone so she has mine, i take this as another IOI, she gives me a hug and i leave, feeling like i just ran a perfect set, only an f close could have made it better, but for my first set EVER, Number Close was very satisfying

    the next day, july 3rd, she sends me a friend request on facebook, this has to be a HUGE IOI, i also notice she has over 1,000 friends, and almost every picture on her profile has some guy commenting on it "wow, very cute!" and sh1t like that

    then the fourth comes, what more perfect excuse to meet up with a girl than to celebrate our nations freedom right? i text her and ask what she's doing, she takes an average of 20 minutes to respond to each text, which worries me, but after awhile says she's going to the city park to watch the fireworks, i suggest we meet up, she enthusiastically agrees

    i have a party to go to after, and plenty of alcohol, a car to drive her in, and an expensive bottle of cologne liberally applied to my body, combined with an ego the size of jupiter, i go to the park alone

    ready to seal the deal, i text her to ask where she is (there's a lot of people there) she doesn't respond right away, no biggie right, well about an hour goes by and still nothing, i start to worry and call her, she doesn't answer, i'm not desperate enough to leave a message, so i leave and go to said party, hoping maybe she'll respond at some point, she never does

    the next day i feel absolutely crushed, at first i'm sad, then angry, then furious
    how could she just ignore me like that?
    what did i do wrong?
    was i just arm candy for the night? am i nothing more than just another one of her thousand friends on facebook?

    my rage spirals out of control, and i decide never to talk to that bitch again, but now it's been exactly a week, and i've calmed down, i've decided to learn what i can from this set and be better prepared for the next

    so puaforums.com, what did i do wrong?
    how can i improve my game?
    is it a lost cause, should i give up on sarah, or is there still potential?
    any general PUA advice?

  2. #2
    naner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first pick up ever (sort of) please help!

    should have told her youd call her when you were going to a party, and then never do. 3 days later say:
    so how was your 4th. she'll say whatever...
    you reply ya the party i went to was awesome. just BS some story and DO not ask any questions ever again.
    NEVER ASK A question. statements!!!! let her ask you questions

  3. #3
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first pick up ever (sort of) please help!

    This is your first pick up, so DO NOT feel discouraged. Rarely will you have anybody up at bat first time in the big leagues batting over 300. You have to just take it as an experience and learn from it all.

    I personally would of just invited her to the party. I wouldn't of met up with her to watch the fireworks especially if she was already going there with people (as it was safe to assume). Regardless of how good the game might of been, she probably was with her gals or even guy friends and felt it might of been awkward. For that you might of had to build enough rapport, or even made her feel like being with YOU was so much better than anything she had going for her. I am not knocking your attempts here either.

    But from what it seemed is that she had you coming to her. I definitely would have told her to roll through to the party later on, rather than meet up at the fireworks, and to expand on that first night you met. You should have made it seem like you had hundreds of more things better to do. I know it sounds weird, but you have to keep a girl like that below your status. Girls with thousands of friends on facebook tend to seek attention from everything. So they unrealistically feel accepted by that attention. And then a guy like you comes along, and they are hit right in the face with "what the heck is going on". They might then get freaked out because they aren't used to that kind of behavior. So you have to play it right. Keep her wanting more from you.

  4. #4
    SSSH's Avatar
    SSSH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first pick up ever (sort of) please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr8Hyde6 View Post
    This is your first pick up, so DO NOT feel discouraged. Rarely will you have anybody up at bat first time in the big leagues batting over 300. You have to just take it as an experience and learn from it all.

    I personally would of just invited her to the party. I wouldn't of met up with her to watch the fireworks especially if she was already going there with people (as it was safe to assume). Regardless of how good the game might of been, she probably was with her gals or even guy friends and felt it might of been awkward. For that you might of had to build enough rapport, or even made her feel like being with YOU was so much better than anything she had going for her. I am not knocking your attempts here either.

    But from what it seemed is that she had you coming to her. I definitely would have told her to roll through to the party later on, rather than meet up at the fireworks, and to expand on that first night you met. You should have made it seem like you had hundreds of more things better to do. I know it sounds weird, but you have to keep a girl like that below your status. Girls with thousands of friends on facebook tend to seek attention from everything. So they unrealistically feel accepted by that attention. And then a guy like you comes along, and they are hit right in the face with "what the heck is going on". They might then get freaked out because they aren't used to that kind of behavior. So you have to play it right. Keep her wanting more from you.
    I see, i actually thought about just inviting her to the party, i think part of me feared her turning down the invitation though. I guess i figured it would be easier to get her to come if i saw her in person, but now that i think about it that's just whatever fear of rejection i have lurking inside me manifesting itself. I suppose i should have just invited her and truly not given a fuck if she came or not, i could always meet more girls. I'm pretty good with lines, but i have a lot of work to do on my mental game. Do you have any advice for overcoming fear of rejection?

  5. #5
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first pick up ever (sort of) please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by SSSH View Post
    I see, i actually thought about just inviting her to the party, i think part of me feared her turning down the invitation though. I guess i figured it would be easier to get her to come if i saw her in person, but now that i think about it that's just whatever fear of rejection i have lurking inside me manifesting itself. I suppose i should have just invited her and truly not given a fark if she came or not, i could always meet more girls. I'm pretty good with lines, but i have a lot of work to do on my mental game. Do you have any advice for overcoming fear of rejection?
    For years I was afraid of rejection. The best thing to get over it is a few things... I do practice warm ups. I walk around the mall and talk with female employees or girls in the food court in the same line as me or whatever. Just compliment them on anything. Strike up a small conversation about ANYTHING. For instance, cute girl at Barnes and Noble had nice short hair. I was getting a water anyways, so I went up to the counter, smiling, asked how her day was. Then I threw in that her hair looked real nice. I have never seen a brighter smile from a girl at Barnes and Noble before. I then simply left. The purpose was never to get a number or make out, but rather to just build up my own confidence.

    Rejection is part of every day life. Once you accept it, you can easily over come it. It shouldn't phase you. The way I put it to my friends is this:
    You have to believe in yourself that you are a great person. If a girl doesn't want to give you the time of the day, to talk to a great guy, and simply have fun and laugh, then there is something wrong with her, not you.

    Instead of fearing rejection, you just have to eventually accept it. You will be rejected many more times than you get laid. Eventually, you'll become less and less rejected.

    Believing in who you can be inside, what you have to offer is the best way to not let rejection run your actions. Rejection is an obstacle. It isn't a way of life.


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