field report update. I don't even know what happened.
Tonight: Go to bar 1: It's a small, intimate bar, just me, another guy, and female bartender (I'm friends with her and her bf). So she and I shoot the bull for a while, I use it as an opportunity to tell funny stories and work on tonality and have high energy conversations. She says it's the best conversation she had all night (mostly because the only people who go out on Vday are people with crazy personal problems; she had to listen to lots of people with their own sad stories; made me worry what I was doing going out, but reframed it as "man, it's a good thing that I'm a normal person who can save other normal people from Vday crazies").
Go to bar 2, which is a little more happening. Immediately open a guy who is sitting by himself (I really like opening guys, both because it helps get into a good, carefree state where you're just there to meet good people rather than worrying what girls think about you, and most of the time, guys are cool dudes.)
After that set, go to the bar and order a drink, standing next to a 4 set HB8, her less attractive friend (LAF), 2 not-so-cool guys. HB8 is talking about how if she was going to get married, the guy MUST ask her dad to marry him. I totally just interrupt their conversation with something like "Well why don't you ask the guy's dad if you can marry his son? Seems totally unfair." The guys all laugh, HB8 goes on this rant that she's a southern girl who would never ask a guy out or for his number, it's ingrained. LAF is all like, "who are you, who is this guy?" (something she repeats all night). Eventually I ignore HB8 because the other two guys in the set are all "Yeah, man, this guy has it going on." Introduce myself to the two guys. After befriending the guys, I go to game the two girls, LAF asks me if I was going to buy them shots. I make a funny face and say the first thing that pops into my mind: "My girlfriend wouldn't like that." (I don't have a girlfriend at all.)
HB8 is ignoring me most of the interaction, but LAF is dividing her attention between HB8 and me. HB8 says that she's a bartender at another bar, so I'm sure she is absolutely impervious to guys. Eventually, I'm in the middle of a conversation with LAF, and HB8 turns to me and delivers this unbelievably crazy rant about how she has been trying to be polite the whole night, but I'm not going to get laid so I should just get the fark out because I'm an annoying little virgin (I'm not) and she just wishes I would go somewhere else because I was totally ruining her night. Everyone in the bar is kinda staring at her at this point, including me—I have no idea what to say. I kinda just say "okay, man, chill."
It totally disrupted my frame. It was also the most epic blowout I've had since middle school, which I'm kinda proud of. I was able to detach a little bit, just being like, this girl's b. shield is unbelievably high, and I have no idea what is going on. I was literally deer in the headlights for a lot of it.I kinda turn away, shake hands with the other guys, say something like "man that chick was weird," and just leave the bar, and how here I am writing the report. The only thing I could think about while I was on my way home was "holy balls, I've got to write this up, I've never even had the opportunity to get blown out before, how cool is that?" Don't get me wrong, I was totally thrown off, but it was in a "this is totally new" kinda way.
Reflections: I just totally interrupted a set with high energy and everybody (except HB) immediately accepted me. It was totally good to warmup with another dude sitting alone, got my confidence up. The best way to get over aa is to approach and just say something. Looking back, while I was in the set, I was totally thinking to myself, holy sht, holy sht, these people are talking to me, these girls are talking to me, do they like me? what do i do," which is evidence that I'm just not accustomed to and I just need to do more and more sets so that I get used to going in. Also, I could tell LAF was attracted to me (and in fairness, LAF was hotter than most of the girls I had been with) but I never qualified. Also, I wasn't congruent; I said I wasn't interested in getting with anyone, but clearly I was.
Also, the rant from HB8: I have no idea how to even begin to think about that. Right now, I'm kinda marveling that my self esteem isn't crushed; rather my reaction is "this has never happened to me before, anad I don't understand, and this is kinda cool, but it totally scrambles my brain," etc. I know that, a month ago, I would've come home with my tail between my legs and not gone out for 6 months because my ego was destroyed, but now, it's more, "woah, this is weird."
Plan: Ask fellow PUAs for their tips in understanding this epic blowout (and it was epic . . . the whole bar was watching, looking back it's kinda funny), but otherwise not try to think about it too hard. Go out more and get more experience (and get blown out more) to gain experience and calibration, and go out more to get more comfortable just jumping into sets. I have no idea where I got the energy to approach that set (I literally just jumped into the conversation after hearing something weird), and at this point, I don't think I could ever get that energy spontaneously again. But, with more approaches, that limiting belief will fade.
So, my question to the community: should I have qualified LAF and just forgot about HB8? LAF was totally hanging on HB8 half the time, so it was hard to get her undivided attention, although I did get some fantastic keno. And how the heck should I even go about understanding that epic blowout? (And at this point, I'm still not over how cool it was that I got blown out so impressively.) Or should I even think about it at all?
All in all. Most successful night of going out. Ever. I'm the champ.