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Thread: GOING out alone... Help guys please

  1. #1
    cire113 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default GOING out alone... Help guys please

    Going out alone..

    Well i really have no friends or know anybody; Mostly because I've stayed indoors for years and am the shy type;

    Can anyone give me some advice and just how to go out alone by myself..


    THis relates to much more than just PUA and gaming but meeting friends and people in general..

    I just feel people will judge me if i they see me enter a place all by myself with no friends..


    I guess someone has to start somewhere?

    Do you guys understand my problem?

  2. #2
    cire113 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    also is this the best forum for this question?


    can you guys think of a better place i could post this for more responses

  3. #3
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    Actually, if you're confident & express that with your body language, you'll look even more Alpha going out alone.

    Since a lot of people are afraid to do that, you'll be seen as, "having balls of steel" in a sense.

    It's not a big deal at all.

    If worst comes to worst & you feel weird about it, or if someone asks you, there's always the option of telling them you're supposed to be meeting some friends shortly...

    Then later you "discover" they're flaking out or couldn't make it or whatever.

    It's really not a big deal at all.
    Just go for it!

    Besides, an Alpha man doesn't care what other people think whether he's alone, or with a group.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    The Elitist's Avatar
    The Elitist is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    I've found that if you give yourself a plan to make yourself have a purpose it goes pretty well. My steps of going out alone are:

    1. Go straight to the bathroom. Even if you don't have to go. Just wash your hands take your time.
    2. Go to the bar. Order a drink or whatever (never drink too much.)
    3. Go scope parts of the bar you can't see from the front, as if you're 'checkin the place out.'
    4. Go smoke (if you dont smoke, make a phone call or check your phone.)

    By now everyone has seen you and have all had the blink thought (or first impression) of you as a man with purpose and possibly status cuz they know you were scoping the venue. The person i learned this technique from is Josh Pellicer - author of tao of the badass. I found videos of him talking about this sort of thing on youtube. Hope this helps!

  5. #5
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    To be honest although I don't go out alone often, I always end up on my own, cus I'll approach a set or something and then my mates disappear and I can't find them cus it's a big club or whatever. No one really takes any notice and don't even ask why I'm alone, if you don't care then why should anyone else?

    Linking x

  6. #6
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    You won't be the only person there alone. The last time I shut down a bar I made friends with a girl and a couple guys that were there alone. Four loners drinking beer and talking until they ran us off. Was a pretty good night after all.

  7. #7
    Major is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    Quote Originally Posted by linking View Post
    To be honest although I don't go out alone often, I always end up on my own, cus I'll approach a set or something and then my mates disappear and I can't find them cus it's a big club or whatever. No one really takes any notice and don't even ask why I'm alone, if you don't care then why should anyone else?

    Linking x
    I'm the same, I rarely go out alone, but when I do if my AFC friends aren't up for approaching I usually end up on my own, and i'm struggling to think of a time anyone has asked why i'm by myself. My advice is just go for it.

  8. #8
    hit626 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    I have the same problem.

    I have friends, but I don't want to let them in too much as to what I'm doing - they won't understand.

    I always thought going alone would be a bad thing because for someone like me with NO experience, it may really put me off the idea (since it makes the game all the more difficult - which isn't a bad thing).

    Now that I know guys are going at it alone, I'm starting to believe.

  9. #9
    Kaybee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GOING out alone... Help guys please

    Just do it. It's a bit harder to get into state since you don't have your friends to keep you in an upbeat mood on your way to the venue, but as you approach and open sets, you will warm up gradually.

    I rarely go out with friends these days. A lot of time they end up ruining sets that I would have closed by acting too drunk and d1ckish in general. Exceptions are female friends for social proof.

    If you're feeling nervous about being alone, start chatting guys or girls you don't find attractive, just to get you in the approaching mood. Staff are very easy to chat as well.

    Incidentally, I feel going out alone is a lot easier. There is a much less likelihood of you ending up in an engrossing convo with your friends and missing out on chances. In addition, being out alone means you HAVE to approach. You have NO choice. It's like when you go to a workshop and you are forced to approach and overcome your anxiety.

    Remember, very few people have the guts to go out alone, and very few people will laugh at you for doing it as long as you're not just "that creepy guy in the corner". If someone asks you why you're out alone, just be honest. "My friends are not in the mood, but that can't prevent me from going out and meeting cool people" or something like that. It can be a massive dhv if you pull it off right. Only one person ever asked me why I was out alone, told her my friends fell in a hole on the way.

    It may feel weird at first, but you get used to it and start feeling good knowing you can go out whenever you want and meet new people.

    Assuming this is nightgame we're talking about, since in the day people are generally alone, so that's not really an issue


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